3. June #3
Coen speaks up. “No, that won’t be necessary.” He reaches over and grabs his drink, tossing it down his hatch and leaving the empty cup on the counter. He raises his finger at the bartender. “Whatever they’re having, on me. Give yourself the usual tip.”
“That isn’t necessary,” Jason interjects.
The flushed lady nods and smiles. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”
“Of course.” Coen sidesteps Jason and plants his feet in front of me. He grips my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes before pulling me into an unexpected hug.
I stand there like a statue, in complete disbelief of having his warm body wrapped around me; a chest locked and shoved deep inside of me rattling, threatening to break open at his touch.
Coen presses his lips to my cheek briefly. “Enjoy yourself, J, you deserve it.”
And without even letting me gather my thoughts and form a proper response, he turns around and disappears into the crowd, my heart aching like I was back on that road ten years ago watching that old pickup drive away, never to be seen again.
“June,” Jason waves his hand in front of me.
I blink and look at him. “Jason.”
He sighs and shakes his head. “Jeremy.”
“Oh, right. Yeah, I knew that. Sorry.” That’s what I get for not double-checking prior to opening my mouth. “Weird night.”
“I’d say.” He points to the two open seats. “Shall we sit?”
“Sure.” I run my fingers through my hair and tuck it behind my ears, glancing over at the place Coen vanished into.
How is it possible that with all the time that has passed, he was able to stir up so many emotions with such ease?
A strong part of me wants to hate him, because that’s how I’ve felt for a while now, but there’s also this lingering sadness, a dull ache that tells me there’s more to the story than I could even begin to imagine.
I take a long swallow of the bourbon Coen ordered for me, noting just how strange it is that both of the men I can’t seem to get off my mind drink the same damn thing.
That can’t be a coincidence, can it? What are the odds they know each other though?
Coen is a few years older than me, and the mystery guy that fucked me in the bathroom was easily twice my age.
"So, are you a student or…?" Jeremy picks up his bottle of cheap beer, I must have missed him ordering, tipping it back, and looking around us.
His features are soft. Attractive. But a bit boring. And if I’m being honest, I’m not sure why I swiped on him. Maybe because he looked nice. That maybe I was subconsciously seeking the direct opposite of the mystery man, in hopes that it would get him out of my system.
Whatever I was thinking, it’s not working, because my mind is anywhere but on the decent guy sitting beside me.
“Yeah,” I answer him. “Well, no. I’m taking a semester off.”
“Right on.” He nods. “What are you going for?”
“Business.”
This conversation is as dry as the spot between my legs.
“Sick, I’m a business major, too.”
I grip my glass, spinning it around and realizing how pointless this is. “Listen, Ja—Jeremy.” That was almost too close. I turn to him. “You seem nice and all, but this,” I motion to the space between us. “Isn’t going to work.” I down the remaining bourbon in one fell swoop.
Jeremy opens his mouth to speak but stops himself, like he’s accepting his defeat.
I hop off the stool and pause. “Good luck.”
And with those parting words, I leave him behind, making my way through the crowd and out the door, not for a second regretting my decision to put a fork in tonight’s quest to bang a stranger to help me forget another stranger.
It takes a couple minutes of walking to get out of The Haven, my lungs grateful to breathe in the fresh crisp night air once I’m far enough away from the chaos.
I sigh, checking my phone for the time and wishing like hell I didn't have an apartment full of roommates to go home to.
I was banking on the ability to crash at my random hookups tonight, freeing me from having to deal with those idiots for at least a few hours.
Maybe sleep sound somewhere else and recharge my batteries enough to get me through the weekend.
It’s pathetic, really, that I dread going home, but they make living there pretty much unbearable.
They’re slobs. Loud. Obnoxious. Inconsiderate.
It’s impossible to have any level of privacy or quiet with them around.
And with the way my mind is right now, I can’t afford to be near that chaotic energy.
Which brings me to where I am now, a small park on the outskirts of town, peaceful enough to give me a little bit of calm in this crazy storm called life.
I probably shouldn’t come here this late, in the dark, considering I’m basically painting the setting for a horror movie to unfold.
But I do it anyway. And I do it often. About once a week I come and sit here, alone.
I drown in the serenity of it. Listen to the music that nature provides, and relish in the fact that not a single other person is around to bother me.
I sit on the same bench I've sat on many times before, and tilt my head back, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath in and out, grounding myself to the here and now.
Maybe if I can think clearly, the universe will provide me some guidance on what the hell is going on with my life.