34. Dominic
Dominic
Ihaven’t eaten anything in three days. I’m not even sure if I’ve slept. For the first time in my life, this pit in my chest takes hold, and I don’t know if it’s grief or a fucking heart attack.
I pop an aspirin and swallow it down with a thick gulp of bourbon.
June hasn’t been home. Magnus comes and gets her some clothes, but he prevents any reason for her to come here.
Home. I throw the bottle of aspirin across the room. “This isn’t her home, you fucking idiot.”
Coen is supposed to be discharged soon, but is he going to want to come back to an empty house? He risked his life to save Simon fucking Beckett—there’s no way he’s going to be without June during his recovery.
Will he go there? The same place that Magnus has spent most of his time, too?
This house is so fucking empty without any of them here.
All of them abandoning me for the man who was once my enemy.
I snatch my keys off the counter and take off toward the garage. If they’re going to leave, so am I.
I drive without a care across town, not stopping at lights or stop signs or using a single fucking turn signal. I speed carelessly and don't give a shit about whether a semi fucking crashes into me or not.
What’s the point?
How did I go from being on top of the world, having it all, a multi-billion-dollar criminal syndicate, and now I’m a man without a fucking purpose?
I had her. The strongest, most fearless, bravest woman I have ever known, and I let her slip through my arrogant fingers. I lied, I pushed her away, I did everything wrong and nothing right.
Maybe I just have one of those hearts that’s bound to break.
I pull into the parking garage and hop straight out of my SUV, not bothering to shut the door or lock it. Someone can steal it for all I fucking care.
I push the button and wait for an answer. A second goes by, then two. I sigh and rub my hand through my beard. I knew this was a terrible fucking idea, but yet, I did it anyway. I lean my head against the building, my fist balling and tapping it, defeat washing through me.
But when the buzzer sounds and the door unlocks, I’m renewed with the tiniest bit of hope.
I barge straight into the building and go for the elevator, pushing the code in and waiting for the door to open. I climb inside and ride the thing all the way to the top. It opens, revealing Simon’s immaculate penthouse and June, Simon, and Magnus all in the kitchen.
June turns toward me, the smile on her face dimming at the sight of me. “Dom, what are you doing here?”
Simon pulls his gun out and sets it on the counter, turning it toward me like a warning. “Don’t make me regret letting you in.”
“I thought it was the takeout.” Magnus crosses his arms over his chest.
All three of them are on the defensive.
“I just came to talk.” I inch forward, noting how June tenses with each step I take toward her. “Please.”
She hops from the stool and steps around Magnus. “Then talk.”
My cold dead heart beats at this ounce of a chance she gives me.
“June.” I sigh. “I can’t eat. Or sleep. Or breathe. My entire body hurts like someone ripped my heart from my chest.”
“Then you know what I’ve felt for the last six months.”
I take another step and ignore the blow to the gut.
“I do. It’s terrible. I never meant for you to feel like that.
I…” I stare into her eyes, begging her to meet my gaze.
“I was wrong, June. About everything. I was fucking wrong. And I know it’s too little too late but God damn it, I need you to know how sorry I am.
” I drop to my knees in front of her, not giving a shit about the two men who are bearing witness to this pathetic act.
“I’m so sorry about lying to you. Treating you like you didn’t have what it took to be in my world.
I was just afraid. I didn’t want that life for you.
I didn’t want you to think I couldn’t protect you.
I wanted to solve the problem, before you were put in danger. I didn’t want you to doubt me.
"I vowed to protect you, and even though that's what I thought I was doing, I did it all wrong.
I should have told you. I should have let you in.
I should have been the man you needed me to be.
But I swear to you, I know now how fucking wrong I was.
And I'm done, I'm done with it all. I have a council meeting scheduled next week to tell them that I'm resigning.
I don't want it. None of it. Nothing means anything if I can't have you.
I spent my whole fucking life working toward that position.
It was the only thing I had ever wanted.
But it's nothing compared to losing you, June.
I…I don't want it. I don't need it. I need you.
I want you. And I will spend every day for the rest of my life begging you to forgive me.
Because you're the only thing I give a shit about, the only thing that matters.
Whatever you want. I'll do it. Just tell me what to do. "
I grip her hand in mine and watch the tears roll down her cheeks.
“I never meant to hurt you. And I will never forgive myself for that. You are strong. You are capable. You are worthy of so much more than this life has to offer you. You made me feel something I have never felt before, June. Unconditional love. And I am so fucking sorry that I didn’t give you that in return.
I was selfish. I was foolish. I was a fucking idiot.
I don’t deserve you. I know that. But please hear me when I tell you, I am sorry. ”
I drop my head as a single tear rolls down my cheek.
June doesn’t speak. The penthouse is quiet aside from my haggard breaths.
I’ve said so many words and yet none of them feel like I’ve even scraped the surface of letting her know just how regretful I am.
And now I kneel here, half a man with my beating heart bleeding out in my hands, offering it to her in hopes that maybe, just maybe, she harbors a shred of love for me still.
June releases my hand and it's like a stake is driven straight through my heart.
She places her palms on my cheeks and tilts my head up toward her. “Was that so hard?”
“Wh-what?” I stare up at her in disbelief that she’s even speaking to me.
“All I wanted was for you to apologize, Dom.” She sighs, her thumbs skimming my beard. “This whole time. That’s all I wanted. But I was done begging you, you had to figure it out on your own.”
“You still…?” But I can’t get the last words out.
“Love you?” She smiles through her tears. “Yeah, I still love you.”
And like I’ve been struck by fucking lightning, my heart pounds life back through me. I rise to my feet, picking her up and wrapping my arms around her waist. “You love me!” I spin her around in a circle and slowly lower her to the floor.
June stares up at me. “I’m still really fucking pissed at you, but I can be mad and love you at the same time.”
I cup her face in my hand. “I’m okay with that. I am so good with that.” I sigh and cherish the feel of her skin on mine.
“Well,” Magnus says. “Are you going to kiss her or not?”
June and I both smile, and I waste no more time, bridging every bit of distance between us and pressing my lips to hers.
She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me closer.
I bend her at the waist and tip her backward, my mouth on hers every second of the way.
Someone claps and I grin against her and straighten us to the upright position.
“I’m sorry it took me so long,” I tell her. “I should have never kept you waiting.”
“Just don’t do it ever again.” June reaches up and touches my cheek. “I missed you.”
“I missed you.” I press my hand over hers.
Her eyes widen. “But I’m still mad at you. Don’t forget that.” June smiles and it’s like the heavens open up and an angel shines its light down on me.
“Don’t worry,” I tell her. “I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
She points her finger at my chest. "I'm holding you to that."
“I’m just glad I didn’t have to shoot you.” Simon puts his gun back into his holster. “You know how messy that can get.”
I extend my arm toward him. “I owe you an apology, too.”
He glances down at my hand like it’s a bomb waiting to detonate.
“I’m serious. I gave you a much harder time than you deserved. I’m sorry.”
Simon raises his brow but decides to take my offer. "Apology accepted. But on my behalf, not June's. You have your work cut out for you on that one." He shakes my hand firmly.
“You’re not really quitting, are you?” June tilts her head up toward mine.
“I called for the meeting, yeah. If it’s going to get between us, I don’t want it.”
She places her hand on my shoulder. “Then let’s not let it. You can have both, Dom, but you have to choose both. You can’t shut me out again. We have to do this together. All of us.” She nods toward Simon and Magnus, too.
“Really?” I ask her. “After everything I put you through, you’re willing to give it another shot?”
“On my terms this time. Not yours.” June crosses her arms. “And I don’t know how it works exactly but my first order of business is getting rid of that fucking council. No one should give that much power to a group of money-grubbing old ladies.”
I laugh for what feels like the first time in forever.
“Deal.” From the start of our organization, the council has been put there to ensure the men didn’t have total authority over the business, but June is right, it’s an outdated method that no longer serves us.
It will take some convincing and shifting of roles, but we’ll figure it out, because I can’t fail her at the first thing she asks of me.
For as long as I live, I will make it my life’s mission to please her.
“But first,” June says. “We have a welcome home party to plan. Coen is being released tomorrow and this had better be epic.”
And if epic is what my vixen wants, epic is what she will get.