Epilogue Julian
Somewhere along the way our relationship stopped feeling like something slipping through my fingers like water and starts feel like something beautifully inevitable.
Claire is in the kitchen when I walk into with the early morning sun rising through the windows, casting morning light onto her.
Her hair is pulled up and one of my t-shirts slips slightly off her shoulder.
She's wearing my sweatpants and they're rolled up so many times theres a thick band around her waist. Her feet are bare against the floor as she hums quietly to herself, flipping whatever she's making in the pan.
I stop in the doorway and just take it in. This is the part I used to think I'd never get after what I did and the way I almost lost her before I even really had her.
But now she's here in my family home and my life just like she was always meant to be.
"Why are you staring at me?" she asks without turning around.
I grin slightly. "Because you're beautiful."
I step up behind her, sliding my arms around her waist, pressing my face briefly into her shoulder.
"Still getting used to you being here," I murmur.
She leans back into me easily, like it's second nature now.
"Better get used to it," she says lightly. "I'm not going anywhere."
The bond hums soft and certain. I press a kiss just below her ear.
"Good," I say. I don't think I could let her walk away from me again.
She leaves little pieces of herself everywhere, scattered around like sprinkles. Her laminator sits on my work desk, completely obstructing me from utilizing it.
I cleared a space for it on top of a short filing cabinet and told her she could put it there and keep it plugged in all the time.
She told me no.
"There's a system," she insisted. There is not a system, other than keeping me doing any work I have to do at home in bed next to her, but I let it stay.
It makes me laugh and it makes our spaces feel like her. It's a privilege I'll never take advantage of again.
There are other sprinkles like her shoes by the door and a fuzzy blanket that lives on the couch.
She doesn't just exist here or visit here; she lives here. And I allow myself to feel the privilege of it.
I try not to question if it's going to disappear. Any second I could wake up from this dream and I'll have lost this perfect life.
I still show up at her classroom every week, that hasn't changed. If anything the consistency matters more now.
"Mr. Julian!" one of the kids yells the second I walk in.
I crouch down, grinning. "What did you learn today?"
"Everything," he says confidently.
"That's wildly impressive, you smartie."
Claire is up front smiling at another student, but turns to look at me.
She shakes her head when she catches me sticking my tongue out at a student across the room, but she's smiling.
Sometimes, I catch her looking at me like she still can't believe this is real.
I feel the same way.
At night, she curls into me like she belongs there. I hold her like I learned something the hard way. After all, I know exactly what I almost lost.
"Julian?" she murmurs one night, half asleep.
"Yeah?"
"I love you." Her voice is quiet and soft, but it hits me square in the chest just as hard every time. The bond purrs with the warmth of it.
I press my lips to her hair.
"I love you more."
She hums, disagreeing.
I don't take our love or her forgiveness for granted. I value the second chance I didn't deserve but got anyway.
It's important to. I know exactly what it cost to get here, and I know exactly what it would cost to lose it again.
So I do my best not to screw up again. I prove it to her through actions and moments. I show up every day, every moment. Every choice begins with asking myself how it will affect us and this life that somehow turned into everything I ever wanted.
And more.
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I'm sorry for flooding your notifications. I accidentally unpublished the entire story and had to republish each chapter one by one ?????♀??????♀??????♀??????♀?