18. Izzy
IZZY
Flustered didn’t begin to describe how I felt after my meeting with Bayn.
“You got everything you wanted,” Koar said. It wasn’t a question and there was a hint of mischief in his voice. “And more… it seems.”
“Shut up, you big lug,” I said, slapping his arm. “If you tell the others about this, I’ll—”
“They’ll know,” he said. When I looked up at him, I was fairly certain he was hiding a smile behind that stoic expression of his.
“Vyns will sense the disturbance in your spirit. Rook will know you’ve been… lusty, and if Myel was here, he’d smell the arousal on you.”
“Oh God, can you?”
“I can.”
“And… you’re not…?”
“Upset? No. Bayn is an ass with control issues, but if you two are into each other, then the rest of us will have to learn to accept him. And if he agrees to your terms, then you’ll be keeping all of us and there’s no problem.”
“Why…? How…?” she stammered. “Most human guys would be all indignant about another man being all over me, having his dick inside me.” I deepened my voice to try and do an impression of a macho man.
Koar raised a brow. “Did he go that far?” the dragon asked.
“Not this time, but we were damned close. A little more friction and our clothes might have burned away, then who knows what might have happened,” I exaggerated… a little.
“It matters not,” Koar said, sounding so damned enlightened and above it all. “I am not concerned. I know no other dick can compare with mine. His may be larger, but he’s probably an awkward oaf, trusting to his size to do all the work, not knowing how to pleasure a woman as she deserves.”
“Ah… so that’s it. You’re not jealous because you have a superiority complex.”
“I call it self-confidence.”
“I call bullshit, but whatever.”
He chuckled softly and I huffed out a breath, trying to get myself under control after that… very unexpected encounter with Bayn. I couldn’t quite understand our mutual reactions to each other. He was an ass. And I was fairly certain I annoyed the hell out of him too. So… why the fireworks?
True, I’d always been attracted to bad boys… but usually I was smart enough to stay away from them. Ah… so that was the problem, if this all worked out, I’d be forced to get close to him. Hell, I’d be married to the bastard!
I didn’t get his need for dominance, though I suspected something had happened to him. Hell, Saldrea had happened to him and her treatment of his sister might have been enough to give him control issues. And he’d said something about his parents imprisoning him, just for disagreeing with them?
I completely understood controlling parents who were assholes.
And to a degree, I could sympathize with being a fish out of water, a titan in a world of elves.
All of that together meant I’d apparently given him enough leeway for sexy feelings to take over.
And we’d certainly had chemistry, even if it was the dangerous explosive type of chemistry.
I didn’t mind a guy taking control in the bedroom, nor did I mind being in control. I could go either way. Sometimes it was sexy to have a man be all manly, as long as he wasn’t an arrogant ass about it.
Bayn seriously needed to learn to compromise and let go. Though… he had agreed to all my conditions… so maybe he was slowly coming around? I couldn’t be sure, because he also hadn’t seemed happy about accepting my terms.
I huffed out another breath.
Koar slipped his hand into mine. His hands were large, but not Bayn large. The way the titan had wrapped his hands around my waist, like I was some tiny, slender waif of a woman!
Stop. Thinking. About. Him!
I thought about Koar instead. “Thanks for trusting me back there,” I said. “It couldn’t have been easy for you, staying outside.”
He grunted and nodded.
Typical Koar reaction.
“And… thanks for coming running, even if I wasn’t actually in trouble.”
“Any time.”
He pulled me a little closer and removed his hand from mine to hug me around the shoulders. I leaned into him, head resting on his shoulder as we walked.
This was nice.
Vyns and Rook were waiting in the sitting area of my residence when we returned.
“Everything okay?” Vyns asked. “Your spirit was… agitated for a while.”
“She was hot and bothered is what she was,” Rook muttered to Vyns. Then to me, “I’ve tried to tell the angel that you and Bayn must have really hit it off, given the sexy thoughts you were thinking.”
Heat rushed to my face.
Yup, they all knew.
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
Rook shrugged. “If he’s going to be one of us, then it’s probably a good thing you find him sexy. Even if he’s also… frustrating.”
“How much of my thoughts did you get?” I asked, curious.
“Ever since the arena… I’ve been getting most of them.”
Oh.
I may have blushed even deeper.
“But… everything’s good, he agreed to your terms?” Vyns asked.
I nodded. “Yup, all settled. He’s going to go get the titans on board and assuming he does, I guess I’m getting married… far sooner than I ever thought I would.”
I gave a terrified smile.
“You’ll be a beautiful bride,” Zora said, looking up from her paperwork, which was scattered around the large sitting room. “Also, there’s going to be another, bigger meeting today. You’re going to be front and center, so if you want help figuring out what you’re going to say, we should talk.”
Thank you, Zora.
“Yes, please!” I hurried to her side so I didn’t have to look any of my guys in the face after everything they knew happened with Bayn.
The guys all stayed close though. Vyns relaxed, still on the mend. Rook paced, full of agitated energy, then decided to help Zora and I write my speech. Koar stood close, a comforting and silent presence.
And my other guy… was far away. My bond with Myel strained with the distance between us.
I also felt Myel’s undulating emotions, a bit of fear — but not too much, he was okay for now — mixed with excitement and a growing eager confidence.
Something had changed in him or had started to.
He didn’t seem as much like the dejected, uncertain man who’d left here last night.
That helped me not to worry too much about him and focus on this speech.
Today’s meeting would be a lot bigger than yesterday’s.
It would be in the Great Hall, also known as Anadendyra Hall.
That wasn’t intimidating at all, having to give a speech in a hall named after my family before everyone on campus.
This was my chance to tell them what they were fighting for, to help them understand the new world I wanted to build, equal and free for all.
Again… no pressure.
We worked furiously for the rest of the morning and I was too nervous to eat any lunch so we worked through lunch as well, right up until the mid-afternoon meeting time.
Then we all headed over to the Great Hall. As we did, a growing group formed around us, following us. An excited — if also nervous — hubbub rose up from them as we paraded across campus.
I’d tried to comprehend the vastness of responsibility I’d have when I became queen. But it was only as I made my way into that massive hall, filled with tens of thousands of people, all focused on me, that I began to understand the overwhelming depth of my obligation and duty to these people.
A cold terror gripped me, and I stuttered to a stop, frozen in place.
I couldn’t do this.
But I had to do this.
Hell, all I was doing was giving a speech.
How much harder would things get when I was making decisions which would impact people’s lives?
For now, I wasn’t much more than a figurehead, a focus, an ideal.
Eventually I’d have to fight a war, then somehow make good on all the promises I was about to make.
Maybe that’s what scared me, the things I was saying.
Could I make them happen? The words seemed easy to say but following through… suddenly that seemed nearly impossible.
“You can do this,” Koar whispered to me.
“Don’t think about how you’re going to help them,” Rook murmured from my other side. “Think about how much they need help. They need this Izzy. They want this desperately. Right now, all you have to be is a symbol of hope. Give them hope for a better future and you’ll have won today.”
That helped.
Okay, sometimes it wasn’t so bad having someone reading all my thoughts.
“Thanks, guys.”
I drew a steadying breath and continued across the floor of the great hall to the raised area in the middle.
The Great Hall was laid out a lot like Clifftop Arena, only slightly smaller and fully enclosed, inside.
Three levels of raked seating circled nearly all the way around the massive room, except for a slice of perhaps one eighth of the space.
There, on a raised area, was the podium where I’d make my speech.
Behind that were special box seats below a massive magical screen, on which my face would be splashed.
I climbed the stairs up to the stage and tried not to freak out.
I’d heard someone once say most people feared public speaking more than death.
I embodied that sentiment as I looked around at the filling stands.
Fighting was easy. You didn’t have to think too much, just focus on your opponent and your next move.
I’d been scared going into the dominion match against Saldrea and even more worried going into my one-on-one fight with her, but it was nothing compared to the elephant sized butterflies bombarding my stomach as I approached that podium and gazed out over a sea of people.
It had been a lot easier yesterday, in a smaller room, with lights blinding me. Being able to see the tens of thousands of people filling the stands was… daunting to say the least.
You can do this. Rook sent to me.
Vyns’ feeling of summer’s heat gently buffeted my spirit and encouraged me.
When I looked over at Koar he gave me a wink and a nod. He trusted me.
Okay… sure… I could do this. Time to tell the world how I was going to turn it on its head and shake everything up.
No biggie.