27. Izzy
IZZY
I sought out Lhorine.
I had a little time before Rook and Vyns returned from their realms — hopefully with better news than Bayn — and really wanted to get this situation with the titan sorted. I didn’t like that I’d put a binding on him, it was just plain wrong, no matter how much of a dick he’d been.
Royal’s Hall, once the hang-out for the elves on campus, had been turned into our HQ.
Lhorine was busy, along with my grandmother and Zora, organizing everything and everyone.
I probably shouldn’t be pulling her away from this, but if Bayn was ever going to get his head on straight and figure out some way to bring the titans to our side, then I needed to free him of this binding.
“Can I borrow you, for a second?” I asked, gingerly.
She seemed about to refuse but must have seen something in my eyes and nodded, begging forgiveness from the others. We found a secluded spot.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Ah… well… I sort of put a binding on someone by accident… and now I can’t remove it.”
“On who?” she asked, shaking her head. “By accident? Really?”
I shrugged. “Yeah… on Bayn.”
Her brows shot up. “You bound a titan… by accident?” This seemed like a big deal. “Binding anyone by accident really shouldn’t be possible, but a titan? Their resistance would be quite high. That’s… extremely impressive, if also incredibly reckless and stupid.”
“Put that on my tombstone,” I muttered. Because somehow: extremely impressive, if also incredibly reckless and stupid, seemed to fit me rather well.
Lhorine gave a little laugh as she let out a breath. “Wow… okay… and you tried to break the binding… but couldn’t?” she verified.
“Yup.” I nodded, lips tight. “I removed part of it, but not all.”
“Okay.” She seemed to have come up with something, nodding to herself. “It’s not an issue of power, since you’d be able to remove your own just fine. Meaning… it’s an issue of substance.”
“Substance? I don’t recall any lessons on that.”
She laughed again. “If you recall, time was short, I only taught you the basics. Yes, substance. Essentially, there was something you were most likely feeling at the time, which was baked into the binding and you won’t be able to remove it until that feeling, whatever it was… is resolved.”
Oh.
That could be very bad.
I’d been feeling a lot of things when I’d put the binding on: threatened and scared, imperious and vengeful, maybe even…
a little aroused. I didn’t want to admit that last part, even to myself.
Bayn had been flying off the handle, and I really shouldn’t have been thinking that was sexy in any way, but it all came down to bad boys doing bad boy things.
The way his massive hand had grabbed my waist and lifted me…
one handed… pushing me against a wall — even though he’d had no sexy intent — may have turned me on… just a teensy, tiny bit.
Was it wrong?
Yes.
Was it messed up?
Sure.
Was it one hundred percent something I’d do?
Also, yes.
“Okay…” I drew the word out. “So… what does that mean… resolved?”
She cocked her head. “Why don’t you tell me what you were feeling and we can walk through it.”
I gave a tight smile. “Sure…” I elongated that word, not wanting to tell her everything, but knowing I should. “Just… don’t tell my grandmother, okay? She’d never let me hear the end of it?”
“Wait… were you…” She cleared her throat, “…with Bayn… at the time?”
With him? Yes. The way she meant? Not really.
“No, nothing like that… well, something remotely like that.” And I explained the whole scene and situation to Lhorine.
The elf wore a bemused and slightly confused expression when I finished.
“Yeah, Olinara would never let you live that down.”
“I know, right?” I threw my hands out to the side. “So, what do I do? How do I resolve that?”
“Well…” The way she drew out the word and looked away.
“No, I’m not having sex with him.”
“It might not require much… a little arousal, perhaps?”
“I’ll take that under consideration,” I groused. “Anything else?”
She sighed. “The fear is the harder part. Are you still afraid of him?”
Was I?
“Yes, a little. But… it’s also sort of mixed up with the arousal I think, and the wanting to get back at him. It’s… complicated.”
“And that’s your problem. You have complicated emotions for him, and until you sort them out and figure yourself out… you won’t be able to undo the binding. The only other way is to find someone more powerful than you… and that’s not likely.”
Yeah, I’m a boss-bitch!
And in this case, it was causing problems.
Why couldn’t I ever just be awesome with no issues?
That was another headstone for me: Awesome, but with issues.
“Okay, thanks, Lhorine. I’ll figure something out.”
She grimaced. “Sorry, I know it’s not the easy answer you were looking for. So… think of that next time before you accidentally bind someone.”
I gave her two thumbs up and a tight smile. “Will do.”
Now… I had to figure myself out… while getting ready for a war… and do it all really quickly so Bayn and I could get back to figuring out how to convince the titans to help us.
No biggie.
It was a short walk back to Bayn’s residence. I hadn’t figured out anything by then. Luckily, it seemed he wasn’t back from wherever he’d run off to. His sister met me at the door instead.
“I’m sorry my brother is… the way he is,” Wensuria said as I turned away to go in search of the man. I turned back slowly. Perhaps she could help me?
“And… how is that… exactly?” I asked.
She invited me in, and we sat in what remained of the large sitting area. Bayn’s previous tantrum had left the room in tatters. Koar stayed outside, so we could talk privately.
“It’s not my place to say what happened to him, that’s a story for him to tell you, if he ever gets his head out of his ass long enough to see you might be a good fit for him,” Wensuria began.
I laughed at that.
I liked this woman. For one, she made me feel small, which wasn’t something I felt around most women.
I’d always been a bit taller and bigger than the girls around me.
Luckily, my mother’s binding had also kept me fairly svelte, and I’d never put on a lot of weight, but there had still been a lot of times when I’d felt damn awkward being taller than some guys and most girls.
And, having been busty since the age of thirteen, that had added a whole other layer of awkwardness.
Yet Wensuria was a full-figured woman, well over seven feet tall, and seemed to have absolutely no body issues.
In my mind that made her a damned queen.
She was also understanding and open, which weren’t words I associated with titans, given everything I’d heard about them… and the main example I’d been dealing with, namely Bayn. It gave me hope that maybe other titans weren’t as dickish as I’d imagined.
She had dark hair and fair skin, brilliant golden eyes, and a kind smile.
“What I can say is this… he’s… broken.”
Oh yay, fixing a man, exactly what I wanted to be doing while getting ready for the fight of my life.
“And he has issues trusting… anyone.” She pursed her lips, eyes a bit distant, perhaps trying to figure out what she could tell me. “Someone very close to him betrayed him… badly… in a humiliating way, and my parents were a part of it.”
Yikes! That’s messed up. Your parents helping someone humiliate you? No wonder he was broken and didn’t trust people.
“He had differing views from my parents and spoke out against them, and after this… thing… happened, they imprisoned him for a while to keep him quiet. Then… they released him into Saldrea’s custody, with me as the tool to keep him compliant.”
Talk about shitty parents.
And that was saying something, since I’d been a child in the foster system.
I hesitated before asking, but I really wanted to know, “How do you feel about your parents, and what they did to him and you?”
She seemed to sense my hesitancy and waved it away with a grin. “Oh, they’re fucking bastards, but I’ve always known that.”
I had to laugh at that, and she joined me.
Which led me to another question. “Would you say more titans are reasonable, like you, or messed up, like Bayn and your parents?”
That got a roll of her eyes. “Yeah, sorry, I’m the aberrant one. Most titans are too twisted up with rage at the elves to be as charming as me.”
Well fuck, so much for that.
Wensuria must have seen the question in my eyes and smiled again. “Why am I so different?”
I smiled and nodded with a shrug.
“I have no clue. Though… maybe…” She seemed lost in thought.
“My parents were royals… and didn’t have a lot of time for me, I was raised by nannies and servants.
And one nanny in particular tried to teach me culture and art, kindness and generosity.
Maybe she hoped I’d be a different sort of royal?
Which does suggest there could be a faction of titans who really don’t like or want our constant warring with the elves. ” She shrugged.
Fascinating. Maybe we could use that?
First, I had to find Bayn and help him get his head out of his ass.
“Any idea where your brother might have gone?”
“I know exactly where he is,” she answered.
What a relief. “He’s almost directly below us, down on the beach.
” Again, she seemed to sense my curiosity at how she knew this and preempted my question.
“After we found each other again, we decided we never wanted to lose each other, so we placed a mutual little binding on each other, so we’ll always be able to locate the other. ”
Huh.
“He really cares for you, doesn’t he?”
She smiled. “There’s a decent man in there, buried beneath centuries of horrible treatment by our parents and a betrayal which utterly broke him. I hope you can find that part of him.”
Yeah. Me too.
I got up. “Thank you, Wensuria,” I said honestly. “If everything goes to plan, you’ll be my sister-in-law and I couldn’t think of a better sibling to have.”
She smiled as she rose and came over to hug me, gently. It was kind of nice being enveloped by her massive form, comforting in a not-quite-smothered, sort of way.
“I look forward to having you as a sister,” she said as she drew back. “Now go, find my brother and kick some sense into him.”
I laughed at that and left.
Koar followed me as I jogged along the main path through the residences, till I came to The Tumble, the stairs down to the beach which descended through a crevice in the rocky cliff, over some ancient rockslide.
Then I retraced my steps, heading back east, till I saw a cave which hadn’t been there the last time I’d been down on the beach.
It seemed like it was roughly under the residence where Bayn had been staying.
Once again, I told Koar to stay back, out of sight, figuring his presence wouldn’t help any while talking to Bayn.
The dragon moved back down the beach as I checked inside the cave, finding a beaten and bloody Bayn laying inside it.
Fucking hell! What had happened to him?
I raced to him, looking around, wondering who’d done this to him… but with all the blood on the jagged stone of the cave, I realized he’d done this to himself.
Fuck me. If the man was willing to go to these lengths to deliver self-harm, then I had my work cut out for me, getting him to see reason.