Chapter 28
SAVANNAH
Warily, I knock on Julian’s bedroom door at the inn.
It’s been a few days, and my body has a constant swirl of emotions.
Anger that he let this happen, disappointment that he ruined a good thing, and, admittedly, sadness that a big piece of me is broken because I miss him, and in this moment, I can’t deny the tiny flick of excitement that jabs my heart to see him again.
When he opens the door, his eyes immediately drill into me with the lightness of his eyes, pleasantly surprised. Hell, I’m amazed I’m here.
“Savannah.” It’s hushed in disbelief.
“Hi,” I say softly and press my lips tightly together.
He steps back and holds the door open. “Come in.”
I walk in with a sigh, and I hear the door behind me close.
Stopping in the middle of the room between the desk that barely fits his laptop and the four-poster bed, this isn’t a smart move.
The worst, actually. It’s evening, and he has the fireplace on, probably to add to the ambience with his tumbler of whiskey next to his work.
“You’re here.”
Slowly, I turn to face him. “Trust me, I’m as shocked as you are. But you are annoying the hell out of me, and probably this town, so if coming here means you’ll go, then here I am.”
The corner of his mouth lifts into a devilish smirk, and he tuts a sound.
“Not everyone is thrilled that I’m around, considering.
..” He strides my way with a smolder that I wish he didn’t have.
“But the coffee place knows my order to a T. And a time or two, I’ve even talked shop with the owner of the hardware store who smiles at me. ”
Damn it. It’s all true. Despite everyone else, he has a talent for winning people over.
But I’ll highlight the issue. “Will you take away his business too?” I snipe.
His smirk disperses, and the subtle shade of pain appears because I’m aware I stabbed him again with my anger. “Savannah, I can repeat myself a thousand times if I need to. I didn’t know.”
My chin begins to quiver, and being emotional around him comes naturally. That’s what happens when two people are pieces that fit, right? You’re able to be vulnerable without thought.
“It doesn’t change the fact that you will always be connected to it.
Whether you want it or not, the association can’t be shaken from my head.
When you have family, you become fiercely protective of them, you want them to have only the best, and when someone so deserving is thrown that obstacle, it means you ache with them.
I’m not sure you’ll ever understand. You didn’t ever have that. ”
That last sentence hangs in the air, and I bunch the side of my dress in my fisted hands. We have issues, but neither of us stoops to bitter words.
His face is incomprehensible, but I see the bob of his throat as he steps forward with his arms outstretched and takes hold of my shoulders.
“You’re wrong. Very wrong.” His eyes laser into me, and I wait for something to snap, but all I get is the ability to hold me captive both physically and emotionally. “I do understand. Ask me why?”
“Why?” I whisper.
“Because I feel the same way about you. I’m flooded with thoughts of every way that I can make your pain less.
It’s an instinct to protect you that even I can’t control.
Everything about you is extreme, Savannah.
The way I ache, the way I yearn for you, the way every time I close my eyes, you’re there.
Right now, I’m touching you, and I’m struggling not to take you into my arms before every inch of you gets attention.
I’m too far gone that I can’t rein it in even if I tried. ”
Parts of me open up and accept what he’s feeling. He’s a mirror to me. A reflection that we share. Everything between us is mutual, but right now, not united.
I’m weakening, I can’t tear my sight away, nor can I run.
My feet being unable to move is the opportunity he has been waiting for, because he closes our space with a simple step, and his hands on my arms turn into his arms wrapping around me.
I fist his shirt, doing my best to hang on, to hold tight, and remember why I’m here.
“I came to tell you that you should leave Everhope. It’s pointless to stay. I’m not going to change my mind, and seeing you around town only hurts me more. I don’t need the reminder…”
He nuzzles into my hair, and his breath cascades down my cheek. “Of what?”
“Of what happened.”
Julian doesn’t seem fazed because he brings his mouth close to my ear, nipping once while one hand cradles the other side of my head, his fingers fisting some hair. I’m familiar with him when he’s like this. Persistent in his pursuit.
“Or of us?” He scrapes his teeth beneath my ear.
A cold chill runs through my body, and sensitive parts of me become affected. “I should go.”
His mouth travels along my jawline, and when I think he’s about to touch the corner of my mouth, he diverts, and his lips follow the curve of my neck instead. “But you’re here.” He hums against my skin.
A line could be crossed if I don’t try harder to claw away.
He presses a kiss on the side of my neck, and both of his hands firmly frame my face with a fervent insistence that I listen. “Because part of you believes me that I would never hurt you.”
The only sign that his words are affecting me is the visible movement of my chest as my breathing changes.
“Because you believe in us.”
I attempt to shake my head, but he presses a kiss on my collarbone, and I’m not yet immune to his touch. Instead, I’m now fighting an urge to burst into tears in his hold and be cured by having him inside me.
“Julian, please leave and go back to the city,” I attempt to plead, but my voice is barely a whisper.
Our eyes meet, with great tenacity in his. “No. I’m staying until you’re mine again,” he reminds me.
Arguing to make my case is useless. His eyes aren’t wild, they’re certain.
My eyes hood closed once, only to open with a tear escaping the corner of my eye. “Julian.” I’m no longer saying his name to request or warn him; instead, I’m saying his name in the hope of comfort to calm me. “It’s not that easy.” It’s my last-ditch effort, but my voice is too uneven.
He brings his mouth to hover over mine. Hot, close, teasing, and making me desperate for his kiss. “I accept the challenge, Savannah.” His whisper is mixed with his lips ghosting mine.
I was adamant that I would come tonight not even to hear him out, only to request that he give up. For the first time, our age difference plays a factor, because I was terribly na?ve.
And maybe that’s my excuse as to why I give in when our lips feather, only to lead to his mouth claiming mine with a kiss. A demanding and overwhelming kiss that I have no power over. Nor am I fighting it. Instead, I hungrily take more.
I’m so lost in this moment of misjudgment and weakness that I fail to register that he walked us backward while his tongue stroked mine.
The back of my knees hit the mattress. Everything in the room slows, and he hypnotizes me as I slowly lower onto the bed.
First sitting, but when he lowers his body, I lie back.
Something flickers between us when our eyes connect.
Maybe guilt on his part, and longing from mine.
He doesn’t deserve me, right? But deep down, my body screams that I’m wrong, which is why I reach for him.
His response is to kiss me tenderly, his forearms framing each side of my head.
“Let me show you how I would never hurt you,” Julian whispers, the words brushing against my skin, voice firm and edged and undeniably seductive.
A single, unhurried kiss presses into my neck, deliberate and reverent.
“All I want to do is protect you.” Another soft kiss follows, trailing along my skin, every movement unrushed—intentional.
The heat of his hip rubs against my thigh, and I’ve entered uncharted territory again, yet he is still somehow my anchor.
His hand floats up my thigh, dragging my summer skirt with it. He doesn’t move in haste; he is deliberate and delicate in his touches.
But I want to be lost even sooner. Squeezing his arms, indicating that I want more, we meet for a kiss as my fingers search for the bottom of his shirt to lift. We speed up when the urge between us to be naked and connected takes over.
“This isn’t me forgiving you,” I clarify with a single pant.
His sinister eyes beg to differ, but I’m already too breathless and unraveling to continue to argue.
Clothes are thrown, and we find home when he holds me rooted to the mattress.
I open my thighs and reach for his cock, guiding him to my opening.
He sinks into me, slowly. Taking a moment for our eyes to hold as he moves, and my walls tighten around him.
Gently, he pulls out, only to rock back in, every time faster and more deliberate.
I’ve missed this.
Adjusting my body, I lean back on my forearms to watch the view of him inside my pussy.
He could take this moment to say something filthy, but instead, his hand finds the back of my neck to gently tilt my head forward to kiss me, long and hard.
Parting, our foreheads remain touching as our eyes lock.
My thighs clutch around his waist, eager to get more from him.
“I’m yours. You have me,” he whispers the reminder.
Our bodies fit together. Everything in this moment is overwhelming me, but one thing that I’m sure of is that I want to be in the moment with him without any thought.
He leans down to kiss me again, and I moan into his mouth as I feel him buried inside me.
Pulling him closer, I tighten my legs around him.
Sinking into the mattress, we are so lost in one another that I’m not sure if there is any place we don’t touch.
Julian moves deep inside of me, and my toes leaving a print on his ass only encourages him to fill me to the hilt.
His face pulls back slightly to ensure it’s clear that I understand I’m with him right now and I have him. He’s waiting for me and will continue to do so.
I ignore the whole reason that I’m here. “Don’t stop.”
He releases a half-smirk. “I won’t, baby. I’ll never stop.” He isn’t only talking about now, and my emotions take over my body. Our lips find one another again as we desperately move.
The realization that we’re making love overcomes me to the point that I teeter on the edge of an orgasm.
I slip my gaze to the side to see our hands interlaced against the mattress, and I don’t want to come. I want it to be at the same time with him, as one.
I’m so far gone that I don’t even realize that our deep kisses are now to cover the sound of our moans and grunts.
We get there. Together.
It’s heavenly and heavy at the same time.
We stay in an embrace as he stays inside of me, our eyes latching, and we lie there for minutes and say nothing.
The warmth surrounding my body is from Julian and his naked body spooning me.
I glance over my shoulder to see that he’s sleeping.
We must have fallen asleep. Except it took effort to get under the covers and use pillows, which means I knew what I was doing.
But our silence continued, and Julian, to my surprise, didn’t press to convince me that this was a reunion. It wasn’t.
Taking the opportunity, I gently lift the duvet on my side and slip out of bed. My clothes are scattered haphazardously on the floor, and I collect my skirt.
Was this a mistake or a goodbye? I can’t process my thoughts right now, only panic to escape.
He did it once. The first night we slept together, he was gone when I woke up.
Now, I’m doing it in return, which by no means is revenge.
That’s why I spotted the pad of paper on the desk and a pen.
Tiptoeing to the desk, I pick up the paper and jot down a note:
You need to go back.
I return to the bed and set it on my now-empty pillow before pattering on my toes to the door and leave.