Chapter 4
Chapter Four
“ W hat are you looking at?” Brendon asked from behind my shoulder.
Shit.
I hadn’t realised he was watching me. The perils of an open-plan office where anyone could sneak up behind you and catch you looking at something you shouldn’t. “N-nothing,” I said, exing out of the tab on my screen. “Not porn,” I felt the need to add.
Not porn? Well done, Milly. Well done.
Brendon laughed. “Of course not! Was it a job site?”
I cringed. Caught red-handed.
Since my meeting with Neil Kingston, I had been browsing job sites and submitting applications both off and on the clock, around the clock. If what Neil had said was true, fifty percent of my team was going to lose their jobs, and with just three months’ experience under my belt, I didn’t like my odds of surviving the cut. I needed to secure another job offer, stat. Even if it was just as a backup for peace of mind.
Brendon loomed over my shoulder, awaiting an answer. Lying at this point was futile, so I confessed my transgression and brought the tab back up. The job search page listed all the communications roles in Auckland, sorted from newest to oldest listing. “Sorry. I’ve just been so anxious about the restructure. It’s hard to stay focused. I feel the need to keep checking for new job listings.”
Brendon sighed. “I don’t blame you. I’ve had the odd peek as well.”
“You’re worried about losing your job too?”
“Of course. Neil made it abundantly clear that no one was safe.”
“Damn. If you’re not confident you’ll make it through, what chance do I have? I have the least experience out of everyone on this floor.”
“For what it’s worth, I’ve put in a good word for you. I can’t promise it will have much impact, though.”
“Thanks, Brendon. That means a lot to me.”
“Right then, I’ll leave you to it,” he said with a wink.
A few days later, Mike casually dropped a bombshell on us.
“You did WHAT?” Specks of coffee went flying from Brooke’s mouth.
“Are you that surprised?” Mike asked.
“He did mention it before,” I chimed in.
The three of us sat around a table in the staff cafeteria on the ground floor, beverages of choice in front of us—a cappuccino for me, an iced latte for Brooke, and a flat white for Mike. The coffee break was a much-needed reprieve from the ongoing agony of the pending restructure results, which could arrive any day now.
“So, let me get this straight,” Brooke said. “You weren’t joking when you said you might quit and become a full-time gamer living in your parents’ basement?”
“I don’t joke, B. I’ve already started my channel and got my first few subscribers.”
Wild as it was, I was glad one of us could turn the situation into something positive and follow our dreams.
“Good for you, Mike,” I said. “Sounds like you know what you’re doing. I’ll definitely follow your channel.”
“Thanks, Milly. I knew you’d support me.”
“I’ll follow your stupid channel too,” Brooke said.
“Uh, thanks.”
With Mike confirmed to be leaving the company, that left me and Brooke. Was I going to make it? The question had plagued me for weeks now. The only positive to come out of the situation was that I had stopped dwelling on the former CEO’s demise. But was that really a positive? The worry about losing my job was just as consuming.
Mike gulped his coffee. “I don’t envy you two right now. The uncertainty would be killing me.”
Brooke tucked a thick strand of her brown hair behind her ear. “I’m pretty confident I’ll make it through unscathed.”
Her assuredness made sense, given her uncle would do everything in his power to ensure her role was safe. I didn’t resent her for it. I’d use my connections too, if I had any.
“What about you, Milly?” Mike asked.
“I’m preparing for the worst. Then it won’t be a nasty shock if I lose my job, and it will be a pleasant surprise if I don’t.”
“Mr. Kingston would be making a huge mistake to let you go.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t see it that way.”
“Then another company would be lucky to have you.”
“If they’ll take me. I’ve been job hunting, but it’s so disheartening.”
“No bites then?”
“Not even a nibble.”
“Man, that sucks.”
“I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose this job without another one lined up. I’ll only be able to go a few weeks before my money runs out, and the unemployment benefit won’t even be enough to cover my rent.”
“If worse comes to worst, could you move back in with your parents while you job hunt?” Brooke asked.
Her words were a punch to my gut.
My parents.
Two people I could no longer rely on. Two people I would never see again in this life.
Tears sprang to my eyes.
Brooke cringed. “Shit. I’m so sorry.”
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and forced myself to perk up. She hadn’t meant to hurt me. I didn’t want her to feel bad. “It’s okay,” I said.
“I’m such an idiot.”
“Don’t beat yourself up about it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What’s wrong?” Mike asked, glancing back and forth between us.
“My parents are dead,” I explained.
“Oh…” He frowned. “That’s rough.”
A heavy cloud of awkwardness settled over our table. For a minute, no one spoke. I struggled to keep my tears at bay while I finished my coffee.
At last, I set my empty cup down. “I’m going to go outside and get some fresh air,” I said.
“I’ll get back to work,” Mike said.
“Me too,” Brooke said.
As Brooke and Mike hurried off towards the lifts, I left through the most secluded exit of the building. Parked cars lined the street. The sound of a passing helicopter rained down overhead. I leaned against a wall covered in graffiti and wiped my eyes again, sniffing back tears.
The reality of losing my job and having nowhere to go if I ran out of money was beginning to hit home. People like Brooke and Mike didn’t realise how lucky they were, having family they could fall back on at the first hint of a crisis.
My mother died when I was three; a brain aneurism. She just dropped dead one day. I can hardly remember her.
My father died when I was twenty-one. He took his own life. I barely knew him, either. Not really. He became a husk of his former self after my mum passed away. I did my best to make him happy, make him proud, but it wasn’t enough. I was never enough.
I dropped out of med school after it happened and lived on the unemployment benefit, renting a large rundown house with several other tenants who were also down on their luck. That was the hardest time in my life.
After several months in that situation, the discovery that one of my flatmates was hoarding rubbish in their bedroom was what snapped me to my senses. I knew I had to leave. I worked, saved for a rental deposit, then moved into my own apartment so I would never have to deal with flatmates again.
But here I was, on the precipice of being dragged back to square one. No job. No money. Massive student loan debt from the degree I never finished hanging like a weight around my neck.
To think, just a few months ago, my primary concern was getting a boyfriend. How times had changed.
I huffed out a long sigh, slouching as I ruminated. Various scenarios played out in my head until the sound of the door opening yanked me from my funk. None other than Neil Kingston stepped out of the building.
Oh great. Just the person I wanted to see.
I didn’t want to look at him, but it was too late. His presence was magnetic. He wore a sharp, tailored suit, and the shirt underneath hugged his slim yet muscular frame. His expression was terse as usual, his forehead creased, and his lips set in a slight scowl.
We made eye contact.
I straightened up and tried to compose myself, hoping he hadn’t noticed my vulnerable state. I expected him to walk right past me, go on his way, but when he stopped beside the door, I realised he wasn’t going anywhere. He was outside taking a breather, just like I was.
He watched me, wearing that same inscrutable expression as the first time we met. It looked like he was working up to say something, but I didn’t let him. I couldn’t stand it. He was the root cause of my anxiety. I had to leave. “Excuse me,” I said.
Our bodies brushed as I passed him to go through the door. The brush must have lasted a split second, but it felt as though it dragged on for a minute. The texture of his suit lingered on me like an imprint. I was relieved when I made it to safety on the other side of the door.
Back at my desk, Brooke apologised yet again. “Hey, sorry about before. I should think before I speak next time.”
I shook my head. “You’re not the first person who’s said something like that to me. I’m used to it.”
“It shouldn’t have to be that way. People shouldn’t assume anything.”
“It’s human nature to make assumptions.”
“But still… I’m sorry.”
“Anyway, forget about it. All the stress has made me emotional. I’ll feel better once everything’s sorted.” I plastered a weary smile on my face.
Brooke returned the smile.
I dived into my work, editing a document. It kept me occupied until an anguished whimper broke out beside me.