Thirty – Vail
Reed and I had less than a week to sow some seeds.
I wasn’t sure what that was going to look like, but close proximity was probably required. So, instead of going back to Omega House, we agreed I should stay in his room. Word had spread I wasn’t feeling well, and when Penny brought a food basket over, I invited her in so she could see how at home I looked in Reed’s personal space. I also asked her to get word to Marnie that I was feeling up for a visit. If Reed and I were now an item – and Penny’s wide eyes told me we were – I wanted to make sure the news didn’t blind-side my friend.
She came by on Tuesday night while Reed was at packball training. Now I knew why she was so uneasy around him, it hurt my heart to watch her slink into his room. “He’s not here,” I assured her. “But I’m so glad to see you.”
“Me, too.” She gave me a quick hug and I got her a coffee from Reed’s fancy machine, while I made myself a warm milk. When we were settled on the sofa, she asked, “Are you feeling better?”
I pulled a face. “Not really. I’ve had bad cramps for a couple days. It makes it hard to eat, or sleep… I’ve pretty much been surviving on warm milk and peanut butter.”
Her eyes bulged and she looked at my stomach. “You’re not…”
“Pregnant?” I squawked and nearly dropped my cup. “God, no.”
“Sorry, I just wondered...” She bit her lip and looked around the room. “But you and Reed are really a thing?”
“Do you mind? Reed told me how close your families are. If you have any kind of feelings for him, Marnie, I’ll put an end to this right now.”
She stiffened, then sank back against the sofa. “I can only imagine how he described my formative years.”
“He said you had it tough. That there was huge pressure for you to shift. I understand why you didn’t, but I wish you’d told me! All that moaning about being a dud, and you’d been dealing with it your whole life… And the way Reed has been treating you, it’s over. When you’re ready, he wants to talk to you about it. And if any asshole ever pu ts you on your knees again, we’ll take a ball each as a souvenir.”
She giggled, then dropped her head into her hands. “I should have stood up for myself, I know. But it becomes so much a part of who you are. Or who you’re not. Clawless. Powerless. Even useless, since there’s nothing worse than being a shifter who can’t shift.”
“But that’s not you anymore. And even if it was, it doesn’t take away from you as a person. You’re loyal. Kind. Funny. And strong as fuck for surviving what you have.” I threw my arm around her, ignoring the clenching in my belly. “We’re shifter sisters, right? And this thing with Reed is only going to make us closer, because I’ll be a real Marshall.”
She nodded, but then looked at my collar. “But what about Jasper? Is it really over between you?” I turned my head and showed her the little lump behind my ear. She gasped. “Is that the tracker he was talking about?”
I shuddered at the memory of walking into the principal’s office and realizing I was about to relive one of my worst nightmares. “They did it early in the morning after our movie night. Jasper, Principal Bregman, a couple of the security guards. They were all in on it.”
Marnie shot forward on her seat with a cry. “What? Carter said he found you collapsed in the hall. He told me you were sick, but not because of that!” She looked furious at her brother’s subterfuge. “Assholes. Would it kill them to be honest about something for once in their alphadouche lives?”
“No doubt he’d tell you he was protecting my privacy. From what Penny said, I’m the only one who got tagged.” I gave a weary sigh. “It’s just not something I can forgive, Marnie. Not just the way it was done, but that Jasper thinks I’m so high-risk I need round-the-clock monitoring. I know Den Night was a disaster, but he didn’t even come to me for my side of the story. He just sent his goons…”
Marnie leaned in and gave me another hug. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You must have been so scared.”
“Like you said. Clawless. Powerless.” I rubbed my thumb over the faint scar left by Jasper’s claiming mark. “I’m going to read everything I can about shifting, Marnie. I was hoping we could kind of do that together. Like a research project?”
She gave a mirthless laugh. “I’m your girl. My mom made sure I’m an expert on breaking stubborn shifts.”
I gave her a sympathetic look. “Reed said he’ll get the pack elders to look into it, too. Maybe even get copies of the pack lab research. If there are answers in there, it would make what I went through a little easier to take.”
We got chatting about other things, so I didn’t mention that there were going to be a few other changes around the place. Reed had agreed to no more High Table in the dining room for the Marshall pack. We would all be eating together now, irrespective of rank. And there’d be no more dog bowls for the duds. Everyone would eat the same food. Over the holidays, Reed and I planned to talk to his dad about getting the funding for improvements to the lower-ranked dorms, as well. Maybe just small things at first, but anything that would narrow the divide. As far as I was concerned, the whole system needed a kick up its furry butt.
But before I could start dismantling the pack hierarchy, I had to survive my first public outing on Reed’s arm. First period was Biology, and he walked me to the door, kissing my cheek as my freshman classmates gawked from their seats. It was a pretty tame kiss, but the warmth in his brown eyes made me blush, and I got a high-five from the moon-eyed girl in the seat next to me. I kept my lunch date with Marnie in the dud breakroom, but Reed met up with me straight after and walked me to Deportment. He had a study period, but when every guy in the room melted into the furniture at my entrance, he decided to stay and partner me for the dance class. It was something called the two-step and was all kinds of awkward with the teacher critiquing my every move. But I figured she’d earned the right to throw a little shade my way after Jasper had tossed her out of her own studio.
When she corrected my form for the millionth time, I asked Reed, “Is it two left feet or four left feet in the shifter dance community? Because when it comes to the two-step, I think I qualify for either.”
Reed grunted what might have passed for a chuckle. “I think once you get this, you’ll have a solid grip on the shifter world.”
I stopped dead. “Are you saying I have big feet, Alphason?”
He gave me his blank face. “You won’t hear any complaints about your proportions from me, Omega.”
Was this flirting? I had no clue. But I relaxed a little and stopped fighting him every step, which made the dance class move along a little more smoothly. My good mood held until we were heading out of the studio, and Ms. Vine said, “The right partner makes a lot of difference, Ms. Marrow. Just remember to let them lead, and you will stumble less in life.”
I gritted my teeth, which Reed clearly didn’t miss, because he was fighting to keep his bland mask in place as we headed out into the hall. I elbowed him in the ribs, which got me a raised brow. “What’s your next class?”
“Gym. Unfortunately, it’s one of the cheer sessions. For some reason, I really feel like kicking and punching you.”
“I’ve got Poli Sci, but I’ll clear my calendar for later. I thought we might try a little wrestling if you’re up for it.”
He kissed my cheek again – which wasn’t missed by the flow of students around us – but I just watched him walk away. Were his sly little remarks and cheek kisses the shifter version of flirting? Was this how alphas treated omegas they were interested in? My only experience was with Jasper, and he’d been more about dragging me into empty classrooms and ravishing my mouth like it contained his last breath. But then, I hadn’t been an omega with Jasper. And everyone in the school seemed to think we were the definition of a bad match. As I moved off to gym, I could sense the side-glances from my classmates, and they weren’t all disapproving.
As I gave the cheer routines the same enthusiasm I’d given the two-step, I waited for a chance to get Nadia alone. I hadn’t spoken to her or Jasmine since Den Night and the distance from my friends had been niggling at me. We snatched a moment between routines, but there was an almost wounded look on her face as we hovered over our water bottles. “You’re really with him? You’re not just staying there because you don’t want to come back to Omega House?”
I stared at her worried face for a moment, trying to will the words off my tongue. I needed my friends to believe in my relationship with Reed if I was going to pull off the claiming on Saturday. It had to seem spontaneous. Like we just couldn’t help ourselves. But right now, I couldn’t help the way my heart clenched at my friend’s disappointment. “Things have changed, Nadia. Reed is helping me out. As a friend, but maybe something more.”
She studied her shoes as I waited on her response. I hadn’t exactly been gushing with infatuation about my prospective new romance, but maybe that wasn’t my style. Jasper was the only guy I’d ever dated, if you could call what happened between us something as tame as dating. Maybe I was more like Reed. Cheek kisses and sly remarks. Maybe that was why we’d make a better match .
But when Nadia looked up at me, there was a desperate kind of appeal in her eyes. “I’ve known Jasper my whole life, Vail. He had it really hard growing up. Not just the alphason expectations, but with his family. His brothers only came along recently, and his parents weren’t very nice people to be around. Their house was either chilly, or raging hot from their last fight. He must have been about ten when he told me he didn’t believe in love, because he’d never felt it.” She gave my arm a squeeze. “But he felt it with you, Vail. And things haven’t changed that much.” I only realized I was crying when she took a Kleenex from her pocket and handed it to me. “When we feel something so strongly, the right thing isn’t always obvious. I’m not making excuses. Just… talk to him, maybe.”
I didn’t respond – mainly because I was blubbing into the tissue – and since I’d already complained of stomach cramps, Ms. Costa sent me into her office until the end of the period. I put my head down on her desk and tried to rest, but my belly really was hurting. And my heart felt pretty battered, too. I must have dozed, because when I looked up, Ms. Costa was taking some photographs from an envelope on her desk. She laid them out in front of me, and I tried to blink the fuzz from my sore eyes.
“That’s Parker West,” she told me. “My grandma asked around and got them together for you. He was a bit of an enigma, so there aren’t many. And none with your mom, unfortunately. But it’s still nice to have them.”
“It is,” I whispered, and sat forward to study them. A man in his late twenties looked back at me, but he wasn’t what I was expecting. He had a slight build and sharp cheekbones, emphasized by his swept-back hair. I couldn’t tell what color it was, but in every picture his beautiful blue eyes were the centerpiece. He looked kind, and thoughtful, and nothing like me at all.
Ms. Costa had stood back to give me some room, but now she looked at her watch. “You need to get to your next class, Vail. But they’re copies, so you can take them with you.”
“Thanks.” I gathered them together and put them back in the envelope, my legs wobbling under me a little when I stood. I forced a smile on my face as I ducked past her. I didn’t want her to think I wasn’t grateful, but I’d been kind of hoping to see some sort of answer in my father’s face. Proof that I really was a part of the Marshall pack, and not just a name on a birth certificate I never knew existed .
I was still feeling off-balance when I walked into the locker room. I was already braced for another run-in with Pearl and her minions, but seeing Jasper sitting on a bench with his head hanging down knocked the last breath out of me. Along with Nadia’s pleas to give him a chance to explain.
“You better be waiting for Pearl,” I muttered as I walked over to my locker, “because I have nothing to say to you.”
He was off the bench so fast, I didn’t see him move until he was right behind me. I tried to turn, but he wrapped his arms around my front, and that last breath came back into me in a whoosh. He buried his face in my limp ponytail and made a choking sound that went straight to my belly. “I hate this, Vail. Not seeing you, not being with you…”
I tried to pull away, but it just put me flat against my locker. “You know where I am!” I snapped, kicking the door in frustration. “That’s the beauty of putting a damn chip in my head, Jasper!”
He let me go then, and I whirled and pushed him back a step. He was in his uniform, but for once he looked as disheveled as Callum, and his eyes burned with alpha gold. That just pissed me off more, and I gave him another angry push. “You didn’t even warn me! Do you know what I thought when I walked into that office and saw the doctor there? All those medical instruments? And your asshole guards, holding me down? I thought it was going to be the same as the pack lab -.”
He screwed his hands into fists, and I saw golden fur gleaming at his wrists. “Never! I would never let anyone hurt you like that again.”
“What do you mean? You hurt me. With this!” I grabbed the collar at my throat, then turned to show him the scar behind my ear. “And this!”
He reached out to touch the patch of skin, but I blocked his arm. The golden glow in his eyes flared, and I could almost smell his wolf as he looked at me through lowered lashes. “I didn’t order the tracker. My mom did. I didn’t find out about it until I came to check up on you.”
I stared at him in disbelief. “Don’t lie to me, Jasper! Your pet principal walked me to the door. And then your security goons told me it was you!”
“Did they say Arras Alpha? That’s my mom. If it was me, they would have said the Clan Alpha. And I wouldn’t have done it like that. I’d never make you live through those memories of the lab. And I would have been there with you.”
I turned and pulled my uniform out of my locker. Reed had replaced the gold blazer with a Marshall one and I didn’t miss the way Jasper’s lips thinned as I dragged it over my cheer outfit. “You being there wouldn’t have made it any better. Because I would have said no, and you still would have done it. Because you can’t trust me. All because of Hunter Moon. Which I never meant-.” I broke off, horrified to find myself crying again. Marnie’s Kleenex was lost somewhere between Ms. Costa’s office and my locker, and Jasper just made things worse by swiping his thumbs across my cheeks. I shivered, both at his touch, and how hard my heart knocked against my ribs. “Don’t, Jasper.”
But he was holding me in his arms and kissing away the tears his thumbs had missed. Something broke inside me at the tender gesture and I cried harder. As they became great, sobbing gulps, he pressed my head to his chest, and ran his big hands down my back. And God help me, I loved that sensation. The warmth of his body. The rumbling purr coming from deep in his chest. And the longer he held me, the more I could feel the knots unraveling in my belly. As if his sunshine smell was healing me with every broken breath. “I’ll get that chip taken out,” he vowed. “Somewhere safe, with someone you trust. I promise, Vail.”
I hiccupped and looked up at him. “And the collar?”
His face shuttered. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but that’s for your protection.”
“What?” I gaped at him. “It didn’t protect me from Trey! Or from your goons shoving me face-first into that bench!”
He looked so furious, I expected his wolf to leap right out of his skin. “They’ll live to regret ever touching you.”
“It’s not enough.” I got my hands between us and wrenched myself free. “You can’t just say stuff like that and think it makes it all better.”
“That’s because you’re not listening to me!” He shook his head like he was as frustrated as I felt. “I’ve done it all to keep you safe!”
No. I folded my arms across my chest. He could hold Hunter Moon against me, and doubt me over Den Night, but he couldn’t say he’d put me in a containment collar for any reason other than to punish me. “You know what would make me feel safe, Jasper? If you listened to me for a goddamn minute and said you believed me! Maybe then you’d have done something useful like teaching me to defend myself, instead of putting a tracker in my head. You could have shown the rest of the school you accepted me as pack, instead of some untouchable you had to put on a leash!” My eyes narrowed, and I jerked the collar of my Marshall blazer tight around my throat. “But don’t worry. I’m with Reed now, and he’s promised to do all that and more.”