22. Conrad
CONRAD
Conrad was having a marvelous time at the lake.
It was freeing to have so much fun with his new friends; to be fully himself without worrying about the gap of education or polish.
The only thing that dimmed his pleasure was that Sage was still sitting on the dock, fully clothed, and looking more isolated than ever.
Conrad had hoped that after the conversation with Roger, Sage would be more comfortable with the rest of the group.
The way he’d easily slid his hand around Conrad’s arm had felt so relaxed, so simple.
And yet, he hadn’t moved since they’d all jumped into the lake, and he didn’t appear to be changing that any time soon.
Conrad splashed Emrys as he teased him for the backflip and made his way to the dock. He hoisted himself up and sat next to Sage. “Not going in?”
Sage shook his head.
“You don’t have to strip down if it makes you uncomfortable?—”
Sage gave out a little huff. “It is not that .”
“What then?”
“I am simply uninterested,” he said crisply. But he didn’t meet Conrad’s eyes as he said it.
Conrad reached forward and cupped Sage’s chin to direct his gaze to him. “Is that the truth?”
Sage pressed his lips together. “I do not want anything to happen to my clothes.”
Conrad arched an eyebrow. “I’m sure the servants will look after them for you.” Sage was silent, and Conrad leaned closer. “Sage?”
Sage sighed and said in a whisper, “I cannot swim. And I do not wish to make a spectacle of myself.”
“I see.” Conrad wiped one wet finger down Sage’s cheek fondly. “I’m sorry you can’t participate.”
“It is nothing. I don’t wish my clothes to be ruined anyway.”
Conrad pulled away and leaned back against his palms, stretching his legs out. He felt Sage staring at him.
“You aren’t going back in?”
“If my beau is not going to enjoy the lake, I’m certainly not going to let him sit by himself.”
“You were enjoying yourself. Don’t be silly.”
“I will not enjoy myself if I know that you are sitting here alone. So we shan’t say another word about it.” He looked across the lake at the rest of the group frollicking. “Tell me something that surprised you today.”
Sage made a small sound of uncertainty. “I’ve never seen Roger without his glasses.”
Conrad smiled. “Mmm. Nor I.”
“And what surprised you?”
“That the Ladies Fitzhugh didn’t wish to swim, either.”
“Humans are odd creatures. So prudish and fussy.”
Conrad laughed. “Harriet isn’t.”
“An anomaly, to be sure.” Sage paused. “You aren’t, either. However, I’ve come to the conclusion that this has more to do with the fact that nothing seems to bother you. So why add nudity to the list?”
“A very kind assessment. Although not entirely accurate.”
“You wish to pretend that you are bothered occasionally?”
“More than occasionally. I’ve snapped at a number of ship captains who demanded more speed than is safe. I’ve scolded fellow dock workers who were drunk while at work. I’ve even been known to raise my voice at sailors who made our work more difficult.”
“My word. You raised your voice ? How did you show your face again?” Sage asked, a smile teasing at the corner of his mouth.
“I’m only saying that I’m hardly a paragon of perfection. You’ll recall that I was somewhat peevish to Emrys only days ago.”
“I most certainly do not recall any sort of peevishness. Merely a slight deviation from your usual amiability. And it sounds to me like you only get agitated on behalf of others.”
“That is the usual case for my anger, though not always.” Sage rolled his eyes. Conrad nudged him. “Admit it. Admit that I’m bothered by things.”
“An absurd admission by any standard. And no I won’t.” He nudged Conrad back. “I shall remain unconvinced until you lose your temper at the sort of things that irritate me—too much cheeriness, a potential mud splatter, or perhaps a prolonged evening of singing.”
Conrad barked out a laugh at the very thought.
A few heads turned at the sound. Keelan gave a very unsubtle grin and Roger looked surprised. Torquil swam over to cross their arms on the edge of the dock, appearing quite pleased.
“We should do this more often,” they said, resting their cheek against their arms. “Everyone is so relaxed today.”
As if to prove this point, Emrys came up as well and wrapped his arms around Torquil’s waist. “Am I dreaming or did I just hear someone laugh at a joke by Sage Ravenwing?”
Sage rolled his eyes.
“Sage is very witty,” Conrad told him.
Emrys gave a look of incredulity.
“I believe it,” Torquil said.
“You do?” Emrys asked them.
“Of course.”
“He is one of the best at solving riddles,” Conrad added with a sidelong grin at Sage.
Emrys glided away to tease Keelan. Torquil stayed where they were. “Cyril was suggesting we try a boating race sometime, but I don’t think I’m up to that particular challenge,” they said in a conversational tone.
“Nor I,” Conrad said. “I’ve been around boats all my life, but I cannot be trusted to steer one.”
“I will certainly not be participating in that,” Sage agreed.
Torquil flashed a smile. “Well, I’m glad I’d be in good company then, if it happens. Apparently Roger is old hat at the game. And he’s usually my co-conspirator in this sort of thing.”
“Any race needs commenters and judges,” Conrad said.
“Now that I would love to see,” they said in a delighted tone before swimming away sedately.
“You really can join them, you know,” Sage said quietly once they were alone again.
“I can’t. I have to sit here and practice commentary with you. Who is the most graceful swimmer?”
Sage hummed. “That would be a tie between Wyndham and Torquil.”
“The best jump?”
“You. Obviously.”
“Very kind,” Conrad said in a posh voice that made the corners of Sage’s mouth quirk. “But I’m afraid I shall have to excuse myself from the running. Who else?”
“Silas.”
They continued on amiably, exchanging observations of each member of the group. Conrad noted with relief how Sage’s tone grew gradually more light. But the gentleman’s stiff posture still left something to be desired. He glanced around his surroundings and began formulating a plan.
* * *
It didn’t take much time for Conrad’s plan to come to fruition.
He wound up approaching one of the servants privately later that evening and asking for a couple of fresh towels, a small book of matches, and a lantern.
Then he waited until he and Sage were in their bedroom.
As Sage prepared to undress, Conrad stopped him.
“I’d like to return the kindness you showed me the other day.”
Sage frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Do you trust me?”
Sage’s expression went decidedly wary. “Yes?”
Conrad grinned and kissed his cheek. “Good.” He draped the towels over his arm, tucked the matches into his pocket, and picked up the lantern by the handle. “Let’s go.”
“Now wait a moment. If you intend to get me into that blasted lake?—”
“We’ll hang your clothes on the tree. They’ll be safe there. I won’t let you drown.”
Sage ran a hand over his face. “I can’t see why you should bother.”
Conrad cupped his cheek. “Because the next time you sit to the side and watch everyone, I’d prefer it was due to preference, rather than lack of knowledge. And I suspect that you would actually prefer to not be as isolated as you often are.”
“What makes you think that?” Sage asked, his eyes averted.
Conrad rubbed his thumb over Sage’s cheekbone. “A feeling. Do you trust me?”
Sage sighed. “Oh, very well.”
The rest of the household had already retired, giving the building an air of quiet and secrecy.
They crept down the stairs with more care than was truly necessary, and Sage shushed him when he laughed at how silly they must both look, sneaking around as they were.
But Conrad’s heart felt light as he grabbed Sage’s hand with his free one and followed his lead in acting mysterious.
Once outside, Conrad struck a match and lit his lantern, guiding the way back to the lake.
As before, Sage slid his hand around Conrad’s arm, his body closer than it had been during the day.
Conrad found he liked the closeness. He liked the halo of light from the lantern in the darkness, making them feel as though they were the only two people in the world.
He liked the fact that Sage was allowing him to do this at all, and that he’d fallen silent beside him, his presence as comfortable as it was when they were in bed.
When they reached the lake, Conrad set the lantern down on the dock and pointed to a low hanging branch on the tree. “That should suit our purposes. It’s high enough that nothing will get wet.”
Sage looked skeptical and he made a disgusted sound as his shoes got too close to the mud.
But he didn’t argue as he stripped down and carefully set each item of clothing over the branch.
He patted everything down when he was done, as if to assure himself of their safety.
Conrad put his own clothes on the dock next to the lantern and the towels.
Then he took Sage’s hand and guided him to the bank and slowly into the water.
He felt Sage tense as the water lapped at his waist. He turned and slid one hand to the small of Sage’s back and the other to cup Sage’s cheek again.
“I won’t let you drown. I promise.”
“This is ridiculous.”
“Was it ridiculous of me to not know how to ride?”
“Of course not.”
“Then relax. You can’t help what you don’t know any more than I can.” He rubbed small circles on Sage’s back. “We’ll stay in the shallow part of the lake to start until you get the feel of things.”
Sage gave a curt nod. Conrad stepped to his side and directed him onto his back, holding the man in his arms to keep him afloat. Sage was tense in every part of his body.
“The water will keep you up if you stay relaxed.”
“Every drowning in history begs to differ.”
Conrad chuckled. “I won’t let you drown. Try to relax your neck a little. Good. Now your legs. Let your arms float beside you. Isn’t that nice?”
Sage attempted to follow the directions, although it was clearly difficult for him to relax at all. His dark hair spilled out around him, making him look ethereal in the dark water. “It is novel to feel the effect of those muscles for once.”
Conrad laughed again. “So you know I’d be perfectly capable of scooping you up if anything happened.
Close your eyes. Breathe in. Breathe out.
” He pulled one arm away slightly, letting Sage’s legs float on their own.
“Again. In and out,” he breathed noisily so Sage could follow suit, and then pulled his other arm away.
Sage floated for a moment and then seemed to register that his personal buoy had abandoned him and flailed. Conrad reached out and quickly scooped him back up again. “I’ve got you,” he said gently.
Sage breathed hard. “No one else was floating on their backs like this.”
“It’s a start. And besides, I don’t expect us to get to diving into the lake tonight. That’s an advanced lesson.” He waited for Sage to laugh, but he didn’t. “All you need is enough to feel comfortable in the water. Just as all I needed was enough to stay in the saddle. Enough to feel safe.”
Sage was silent as Conrad stood still and held him, the sound of water lapping against the bank the only sound. “I don’t like feeling helpless,” Sage admitted in a quiet voice.
Conrad dropped his arm from under Sage’s legs and placed that hand on his chest. “You aren’t helpless. You are brave, and you are clever, and you have everything you need to do this, I promise. And you have me. I would never let my friend get hurt.”
Sage turned his head to look at him. “Very well,” he said at last. “Let’s try it again.”