Chapter 27 Olivia
TWENTY-SEVEN
olivia
“Come on, what do you expect me to tell Cooper?” I shouted into the phone at Jason when he once again bailed on his son for the weekend.
I sometimes wondered if Cooper would have been better off if I’d never taken the paternity test and let Jason off the hook. With Jason in his life, I feel like all I had done was set Cooper up for a life of constant disappointment. Would no father be better than a shitty father?
I’d built my work schedule around him, with showings all day on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. So, now Coop would have no one watching his game at all.
“What’s wrong?” Nate asked as he walked into the kitchen after I slammed my phone on the counter.
“Oh, just Jason ditching his son once again. The worst part is that I am slammed with work this weekend. So Cooper is going to spend the weekend with a babysitter, and he’s got no one cheering him on at his game.
“What time is his game?”
“It’s at 5:00 pm.”
“I’ll go.”
“Nate, you fly out that night and have a day game. How are you going to make that happen?” Did Nate fully understand the hell that was Boston traffic?
“I’ll figure it out.” His expression darkened, and I could see that Nate would not be dissuaded. “No kid should have to play without someone pulling for them on the sidelines.”
With that, I glimpsed Nate as a boy looking out into the stands, hoping to have someone cheer him on.
He still hadn’t had a visit from his mother, and I could see that it bothered him.
I thought back to when Austin was in Little League, high school, and travel ball—one of my parents were at every single game he played.
I wish I had my mom here to talk to right now. A sharp pain struck me hard, even after all these years. The pain of losing her still took my breath away.
“What’s wrong?” Nate asked.
God, that man was perceptive.
“I was just wishing I had my mother around to help me navigate these situations.”
“Where is your mom?”
“I lost her three months before Cooper was born. Breast cancer.”
“Where is your dad?”
“Hiding in Florida. He visits at Christmas, and I try to go there for Thanksgiving. But—well, she was his person, and it was too difficult for him to be surrounded by reminders that she was gone.”
“You lost them both, huh?”
His gaze met mine, and it was funny how just talking to him about it felt like a warm hug. “Kinda—yeah. I lost them both.”
“Does Cooper spend much time with Jason’s parents?”
“No. They didn’t approve of how Cooper came to be, so they are minimally involved.”
“Are you fucking serious?”
“You know what’s crazy? All these years, I’ve been frustrated by it, but figured it was normal. Judging by your reaction, I’m realizing that it’s not normal.”
“No, Liv, not normal.”
“But what do I do about it? It’s like I’ve set Cooper up for a life of constant disappointment from the people who are supposed to love him.”
“He’s a good kid. And he’s happy. That’s all thanks to you.”
“Were you happy?”
Nate’s expression clouded again. “For the most part, yes. But my father was in and out of our lives. My mom couldn’t seem to quit him. No matter how badly he failed us.”
“Is it over now?” I asked.
“She claims it is, but she’s been secretive about seeing someone, and while she denies it’s him—I don’t believe her.”
“I hope she finds someone who gives her everything she deserves,” I said, struck by a pang of loneliness and longing; emotions I had long come to terms with that recently surfaced.
“We all deserve someone who makes us feel special.”
With that, Austin interrupted, and while my brother’s interruptions over the last week had left me sexually frustrated, his interruption today helped me preserve what little bit of emotional peace I had.
This man had me all over the place emotionally.
For a relationship that was supposed to be only sex, the lines were getting blurred.
I wanted to ignore his virginity, but I couldn’t.
For whatever reason, he made it to a couple of weeks before the age of twenty and had never had sex.
Would I have slept with him had I known?
I didn’t know. And because I couldn’t answer that question, I’d contrived some situations that would make it harder for us to have a repeat performance.
I didn’t want to like him. Scratch that—I wanted to like him enough to fool around, to have some secret sex—but I was finding it increasingly difficult to compartmentalize what we did from the friendship we started forming.
I couldn’t even think about how badly Cooper would be hurt if something I did resulted in Nate cutting ties with us.