Chapter 53 Olivia
FIFTY-THREE
olivia
Cooper and I had a marathon day of back-to-school shopping planned the next day, while Nate had sightseeing plans with Darla and Donnie.
“Mom, why can’t I get these?”
Sneaker shopping was my most loathed part of any shopping trip. Not only were they among the most expensive items on the list, but he also always needed to replace them. Jason’s child support covered the bare necessities, not sneakers.
There was also a fine line between getting your kids what they needed and overindulgence.
I loved a lot about where we lived, but I hated how parents seemed to hand their kids anything they asked for.
I mean, the girls all had something from Tiffany’s, and it wasn’t unheard of for the middle school girls to carry luxury handbags.
“I can’t get those and the cellphone, bud.” I’d finally agreed to get him a cellphone. Initially, I had wanted to get him a flip phone, but he’d eventually convinced me it would be social suicide, and he’d be better off with nothing.
“Fine.” He picked up a more reasonable pair, and I nodded. “Is Nate going to move to Alabama with his parents when the season is over?”
Huh, I guess I hadn’t thought about that one. What reason did he have to stay in Lexington when the season was over? I thought about how nearly impossible it was to get time alone with him—and that was while he was living under the same roof.
“He can stay with us as long as he wants.” I watched Cooper’s reaction when I said that; he just nodded with no other outward reaction.
“Do you think Uncle Austin will move out?”
“The only thing I’ve heard him say is that he’s taking a long vacation at the end of the season. I don’t think he’ll move out until the divorce is final with Aunt Ashley.”
“Don’t call her my aunt. She’s not anymore.”
My heart squeezed, realizing that when divorces happen, there were impacts to others outside of the core relationship. Ashley and I never got along, but Cooper lost his aunt. What would happen if Cooper got attached to Nate and then we broke up? “How do you feel about the breakup?”
“I heard what she did to him. I feel bad—of course. Uncle Austin loved her.”
That had never been in question. Whether she deserved it or not, my brother had been devoted to his wife—a devotion that had resulted in a major blind spot.
It surprised me that Cooper heard about the affair; I thought I’d shielded him from that.
But all the sports news shows had commented because of the drama on the team this year. “He did love her.”
“I know you and Dad were never really together—but did you ever try?”
God, it had been so much easier to explain this shit when he was younger. I wanted to be honest with him, but there needed to be a line.
“Your father and I weren’t right for each other. It was important to both of us that you grew up in peace.”
“I hate when Dad picks a fight with you when he drops me off.”
Oh, damn you, Jason. I told you he’d notice this one day.
“I’m sorry you saw that. That wasn’t something you should have to see.”
Cooper and I picked up a few more basics at Target before heading to the school supplies section. He had been quiet for a bit while we shopped.
“Dad’s jealous of Nate.”
My heart stuttered. “What? Why?”
“He thinks that something is going on between the two of you.”
“Why would he think that?” My heart was beating so hard, I swore even the woman helping her son find every yellow notebook on the shelf could hear it.
Cooper shrugged. “Dunno. But he always thinks you’re seeing someone new. I think he wants me to be bothered by it—or something.”
“And are you bothered by it?”
“I don’t like it when Dad talks about you. But I wouldn’t be bothered by it if you had a boyfriend—or something.”
“And if it were Nate?”
“He’s really cool. Are we going to the phone store next?”
I forced myself to let the conversation drop. Yeah, bud, the next stop will be the phone store. Even though I’m literally dying inside to fully gauge your reaction—
Once we got home, I helped Cooper set up his phone and add emergency contacts.
“Do you think Nate would mind if I texted him?”
“Of course not.”
“I won’t let any of my friends get his number.”
We spent the rest of the afternoon talking about social media—and maybe a few lectures on how his connections might lead some kids to use him.
Toddler Cooper had been scary, but preteen Cooper was even worse.
And he was a damn good kid. I couldn’t imagine what I would have done if he’d grown up to be one of those kids who constantly tested their parents’ limits.
Me: How is sightseeing?
Nate: We’ve had way too much food.
Me: How are you going to play tonight?
Nate:
Nate: Coop texted me.
Me: Is that okay?
Nate: More than okay.
Yeah. I loved that—and I shouldn’t. Or I should at least feel more conflicted. But I trusted Nate with Cooper. I trusted Nate emotionally with my son—in ways I didn’t trust his own father to support him.
Me: Please wake me when you get home.
Nate: Looking forward to it.
Nate and Austin planned to bring Darla to the airport when they left for their road trip. Cooper had his first day of school, and I had a home sale closing shortly after I dropped him off. The day would be filled with distractions, but the night loomed lonely.
Me: Can you come over for a chat tonight?
Sophie: Everything okay?
Me: Good—but messy. I need a listening ear.
Sophie: I’ll be there with wine.
“Mom, I’m not bringing lunch. I’m buying lunch.” Cooper and I had this discussion not even two days ago, but since then, he’d found out none of his friends were bringing their lunches this year.
“But what if you don’t like the food?”
“Everyone buys lunch.”
Sigh. I logged onto the app and added funds to his account. “Whatever. I have granola bars and snacks, just in case.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Early bedtime. Best to start your routine tonight.” My nagging earned an eye roll, but he did what I’d asked.
Cooper had just gone to bed when Sophie busted in the front door. “I brought a big bottle.”
“Thank Christ.” I pulled two white wineglasses out of the cupboard and passed them to her. She helped herself to the bottle opener, and I used the remote to tune the TV to the baseball game.
“Are you okay?” This was always her first question, and I loved her for it.
“I’m good. Better than good—or there’s a solid potential for it to be fucking great.”
“You’re in love.” Not a question. A statement.
“I am.” I dropped my head into my hands. “I just don’t see how it works out.”
“Remember when Bran and I got together?”
Bran was Sophie’s brother’s roommate, and things had exploded when his brother had come home and caught them in bed together.
“Well, I guess it’s similar. Ish.”
“Austin wants you to be happy.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t think that extends to dating his rookie teammate.”
“I don’t think your brother is allowed to add qualifiers to your happiness.”
I thought about how long people in my life had done just that.
Cooper’s unplanned pregnancy had brought Jason into my life permanently.
This went hand in hand with Jason’s judgment of every move I made.
Austin bought the roof over my head, which had always made me feel like he owned my decisions.
And no—he’d never done anything to validate those feelings.
“I’ve never been able to tell him to mind his own business.” And sometimes, even when I tried hiding things from him, he’d figure them out. “I swear the only reason he hasn’t figured it out on his own is because of what he’s going through with Ashley.”
“Practice it—practice telling him to mind his own business—the time has arrived. I love your brother. I love what he’s done to help you get on your feet. But you’re good, now. You haven’t needed him in a long time.”
She was right; over the last few years, I’d built my name in real estate and put enough money aside to be comfortable.
I didn’t need Austin. I’d been using him as a crutch, though—just in case I failed.
I downed the first glass of wine and poured us each another.
“Once his divorce is final, I’m going to push him to sell the house to me—or I’m moving out. ”
“That’s a good start. What else?”
“When the season ends, I’m going to tell him I’m in love with Nate.” My heart had felt burdened all day, and with that, I felt lighter.
“Oh, my friend. I felt that. You did too, right? Saying it—you feel better, don’t you?”
“I do. Now I need you to promise me you’ll be here for the end-of-summer pool party—”
“And miss the opportunity to people-watch the ridiculous social climbers? Never.”
Austin and Nate weren’t the first celebrity parents. Lexington brought together a microcosm of rich and sometimes famous residents. Over the years, my end-of-summer party had doubled as a networking opportunity. Last year, I’d made several lucrative contacts that led to substantial commissions.
“I hired two lifeguards this year.”
“Thank God—otherwise I’d recommend increasing your homeowners insurance.”
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks. Madison is bringing her sister—she’s intent on fixing her up with Nate.”
“Will Nate be here? Don’t they have a road trip?”
“They’ll be back. I selfishly planned the party so I would have some moral support. But now I don’t want to subject Nate to her meddling.”
“Look at me,” Sophie said, as I did everything to avoid eye contact. “What are you afraid of?”
“I’m ten years older than him. I’ve got a kid. I’ve seen Maddy’s sister—”
“And?”
“She’s drop-dead gorgeous.”
“Have you looked in the mirror?”
“Stop, Sophie. You have to tell me that.”
“I don’t. My job is to be honest. I’ve never seen you look at a man the way you look at Nate. And that man loves the shit out of you. I’m happy for you. And I’m here to help you tell your brother, Jason, and the rest of the world to fuck off when it’s time.”