Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
We’re on the crest of a hill, overlooking a field full of cercopes. They’re interesting creatures, like children with pointed ears and a hairy tail, sort of like if an elf and a monkey had ugly babies. But the cute kind of ugly.
They’re dancing and laughing with each other, an utter delight to behold. So, of course, I’m really worried about why Alexander brought me here. None of my new friends are saying anything about the quest because they don’t want to “ruin my game experience with spoilers.”
Despite the fact that we’re all trying to get out of this world alive, everyone is still enamored with the idea that we’re actually playing a game.
And, honestly, so am I. I mean, yes, I’m not over the dead harpy thing, and I desperately want to get home to Mom.
But there’s a reason I play video games. It’s more fun than real life!
“Okay, so what’s going on with the cercopes?” I ask Alexander.
His eyebrows are way too serious, and his chin is way too firm in contrast to the childlike laughter in the field below.
“These cercopes are a menace,” Alexander says.
“They’ve been stealing tools from the villagers.
Blacksmiths are without their tongs. Stable hands are without their pitchforks. Farmers are without their hoes.”
Joshua snickers and calls out, “Where my hoes at?”
I give Joshua a lot of grief, but I have to hand it to him. The contrast of his words against Alexander’s earnest expression is perfect. There’s a reason he’s a bard. I mimic a chef’s kiss in his direction, and he responds with an exaggerated bow.
Alexander doesn’t notice Joshua’s tomfoolery and continues his monologue. “Zeus’s son Hercules has been tasked by his queen to kill them, but the cercopes’ mother has asked me to capture them and bring them to her.”
“Mother?” I look down at the field. There are dozens of them down there. “Busy woman.”
“Alas, the gods have cursed me to—”
“Never lift a blade again, I know,” I say with a sigh. “Wait…You said I just need to capture them. This doesn’t require you to lift anything sharp.”
“Oh, hun,” Tara says. “Trust me when I say that a weapon might come in handy right now. Your staff should do, though. It might be enough to herd them.”
“Herd them? Like sheep?” I ask.
Tara shrugs. “Yeah, like sheep. If sheep were tiny assholes that like to bite and pants people.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me about the pantsing,” Guy groans.
“Okay, so how do I capture them, and how do I get them to their mom?” I ask Tara.
Sylvia steps over and answers me instead.
“You’re not capturing anyone. We need to be smart about this and play the game in a way that works best for you.
Legends of Sacrifice the video game has some big differences from how this all works here.
Just like you don’t choose your class, you don’t choose your spells and skills.
You earn them with the actions you take during quests and key moments. ”
“So, I need to do cleric stuff instead.” I rub my chin, wondering just how badly these people will need healing. Though, being a cleric isn’t all about mending wounds. Maybe I could somehow buff them, like grant them guidance or some shit.
Sylvia nods. “Yeah, so you’ll join Guy and me on the perimeter while Cait and Tara rush up to the cercopes from behind. When they try to spread out, we’ll shoo them back into the middle so that they’re headed in the direction we want them to go.”
“And I’ll play my fiddle so that they follow me into that cage over there,” Joshua adds, pointing toward something shining in the distance.
“That’s a cage?” I ask. “Seems pretty far away.”
Cait finishes stretching her legs. “Yeah, it’s gonna be some cardio for sure.”
We all get into position. Tara and Cait are to the west of the cercopes.
Joshua is to the east, like the far-off cage.
Sylvia is to the north, while Guy and I are to the south.
With how spread out we are, how far away the cage is, and how many cercopes there are, I can’t imagine how difficult this quest must be for newbies choosing to play solo.
“So how do we do this?” I ask Guy.
He holds out his hand, and in a blink, his staff disappears from his back and poofs into his hand. “Just swing your staff at them and make loud noises.”
I raise an eyebrow. “That works?”
“Usually,” he answers. “Sometimes, you have to chase after them. That’s why I’m glad to have you on my side. That way you can keep fending off the stream in case I need to grab a stray cercopes.”
“What about Sylvia?” I ask. “She’s on her own.”
Guy laughs. “No, she’s not.”
He points across the field, and Sylvia waves at us. Then she taps at what must be her UI, and a wolf appears at her side.
“Jesus Christ!” I yelp. “I thought she didn’t like wolves!”
“It’s not that she doesn’t like them,” Guy says. “She’ll just do anything to protect animals who are being attacked by anyone. And that wolf isn’t just some wolf. That’s the puppy she rescued.”
My eyes strain from how wide open they are. “That’s a puppy?”
“Well, he used to be,” Guy answered. “We’ve been here a while, and he’s grown a lot.”
The thought of a helpless puppy growing into a snarling wolf does more than amaze me, it makes me ponder. If this wolf comes from the game, shouldn’t he have stayed a puppy? Do NPCs age here? Do players?
Don’t think like that. You’ll be out of here before you can answer that question.
Suddenly, Cait’s running at full speed holding her great axe over her head practically roaring at the cercopes.
Tara’s racing beside her, screaming at the top of her lungs to scare the herd in the right direction.
The two of them are terrifying, even to me, and I’m their ally.
The cercopes definitely feel the same way because they’ve stopped laughing and started fleeing.
Just as everyone told me they would, the cercopes try to disperse in every direction.
It takes me a moment to snap my attention away from Tara and Cait.
As soon as my mind is on my mission, a growling cercopes dashes in my direction.
Now that they’re closer, they’re not as cute. In fact, they’re fucking scary.
I let out a blood-curdling scream. I suppose it sounds like I’m trying to intimidate the cercopes, but it’s really just my knee-jerk reaction to its bulging eyes and needle-like teeth.
The little guy doesn’t know that, though.
He shrieks and turns tail, rushing back to the middle of the field.
As soon as he’s there, his eyes fix on Joshua.
Joshua’s playing the fiddle as he twirls and frolics in an eastward direction, completely in his element. The cercopes that just ran at me a moment ago is dancing now, too, as he follows our bard.
I should have been paying less attention to Joshua and more to my job, because another cercopes leaps at me. I swing my staff and hit him like he’s a baseball. He goes limp and drops to the ground.
“Oh, God!” I cry out. “Did I kill him? Oh God, oh God, oh—”
The cercopes springs back up, eyes bright with the light of vengeance.
“Oh, shit!” I fight the instinct to run away and hold my staff out. “Fuck off!”
That does absolutely nothing. He lunges at me with his mouth wide open, and I swing my staff again, but he dodges it just in time. Then he jumps up and buries his sharp teeth into my arm.
“Fuck!” I shriek. “You little fucking fucker! Get the fuck off me!”
Guy bops the cercopes on the head with his staff and flings the creature into the middle.
I stare in horror at the cercopes’s prone body. “You killed him,” I whisper.
Guy shakes his head. “No, you can’t kill the cercopes. If you could, this quest would be next to impossible. Sometimes the only way you can get them where they need to go is with good old-fashioned violence.”
“I see now why Alexander wasn’t able to—”
I’m not able to finish that sentence because a searing bolt of agony rushes up my arm to my shoulder. I look where the cercopes bit me. It’s red and swollen. Pus is bubbling from the little punctures the creature’s teeth left in me. Well, shit. It’s infected. I might even be poisoned.
“Heal Minor Wounds!” I shout. Nothing happens. “Heal Major Wounds!” That doesn’t work either.
Before I can process this information, another cercopes is dashing in our direction. I try to lift my staff, but my arm is too weak now. I turn toward Guy to ask for his help, but I see he’s fending off two cercopes now. Shit.
The little terror is gnashing his teeth as he sprints over to me.
Panic clutches my heart, but suddenly, the familiar peace from my first day rushes over me, giving me the ability to think.
Now that I have a moment of clarity, I realize that there’s a way to work smarter instead of harder in this situation.
I focus on the pink gem in my staff. I never asked how to do this before, so I’m just winging it when I shout, “Charm!” and point it at the cercopes.
He stops in his tracks. His eyes turn pink, and he has a dazed expression on his face as his head sways back and forth.
“Follow him!” I command and nod in Joshua’s direction.
Without hesitation, the cercopes turns around and marches eastward, keeping his hypnotized eyes on Joshua the whole time.
When I turn to look at Guy, I can see that he’s tossed one cercopes back into the fray, while the other one is trying to yank Guy’s staff away.
I point my staff at the little thief and once again shout, “Charm!” His body goes slack, and he loses his grip on Guy’s weapon.
That’s all Guy needs to give the cercopes a good thwack, sending the little guy hurtling back into the center of the field.
“Well, that’s handy!” Guy says, laughing. “Keep it up!”
Blinding pain flashes up my arm again, and I nearly fall to my knees. Neither one of my healing spells worked before, and I realize now it’s because I’m not trying to cure a wound. I need to cure a poisoning condition. Before another burning pang can attack, I thrust my purse at Guy.
“Is there anything left of my t-shirt in there?” I ask.