Chapter 14 #2
“I haven’t even looked yet,” I say. “Let me bring up my quest menu.” There are four new quests waiting for me and…No, this can’t be right. Surely, Aphrodite would know I’m the wrong person for tasks like this.
“What’s wrong?” Cait asks.
“I’m supposed to make people believe in love again,” I answer. “How the fuck do I do that?”
Cait shrugs. “I guess just tell them all the reasons love is great or something.”
But how am I supposed to do that when love isn’t great?
What gamer doesn’t love a good side quest?
Who wouldn’t want a break from saving the world or whatever to chase after chickens or collect herbs?
In every game I’ve played, I’ve gotten so sidetracked by easily ignorable tasks that it takes me five times longer than it should to make progress in a game.
However, this is my actual life now, and I can’t afford to do that, so it’s tempting to skip these altogether and move on to main game stuff.
But is that my strategic mind thinking or the part of me that dreamed about Mom dying alone last night?
It doesn’t matter. Aphrodite was clear. I have to do this.
I need the XP and to improve my faith score, otherwise I won’t be able to make progress on the main quest. And if I don’t, my chances of seeing Mom again are nonexistent.
Today, I have four almost identical quests. I have to make people believe in love again. The only difference between the quests is that each of them involves a different person and has an alternate component.
Amalthea was seduced by Zeus a long time ago.
Unfortunately for her, she caught feelings for him in record time.
Zeus being Zeus, he moved on pretty much the next day, breaking her heart.
Since she’s in charge of keeping the local temple spotless, she’s constantly reminded of his rejection.
I have to take over cleaning for a day and convince her to accept the advances of the handsome food vendor across the street.
Gelasius is the oldest of five brothers, making him the heir to one of Thebe’s most powerful council elders.
It’s important for him to get a wife with the right connections.
To him, love is a work of fiction, and marriage is a transactional obligation.
But if he’d just turn his head a little, he’d find there’s an absolutely beautiful maid who has a huge crush on him.
I need to help him collect all the scrolls his father needs and somehow get him alone with this maid.
Dolius is a traveling merchant. He’s too busy hustling to have time for love. Besides, he’s never met a woman who ever stirred anything in him. That’s because he’s gay and hasn’t realized that yet. I need to help him hawk his wares and hopefully inspire his “I like dudes” breakthrough.
Phemie is a widowed mother of eight and grandmother of twenty-six.
Her husband was an abusive asshole that she truly thought she loved when he was courting her.
Because of him, she decided love was an illusion.
She’s spent decades telling her kids and grandkids not to believe in it.
I need to deliver gifts to each of her adult kids and show her how much she’s hurting them with her bias.
The problem is that I’m no good at selling what I don’t believe in, and I don’t believe in love.
Aphrodite knows this. We’ve discussed it.
It’s clear that she’s trying to sway me to the romantic side.
I can’t blame her. It must be vexing to have a cleric like me, but then again, she chose me, not the other way around.
As we sit around the campfire eating breakfast, I read out my side quests to the group.
Guy winces. “That’s a lot of work, and our camp is a good thirty-minute walk to town. There’s no way you’re getting this all done today.”
“Yeah, I know,” I say, closing my menu.
“I suggest we budget about four days here,” Sylvia says. “One for each quest. If it gets done faster, then all the better!”
“What’s our main quest again?” I ask. “I’ve been so focused on what Aphrodite wants from me that I forgot all about what the next step is for the game.”
“Oh, we gotta defeat this empusa who’s been killing travelers to the north,” Tara says.
“What are empusas, and how gory is this going to be?” I ask. “I want to be fully prepared this time.”
“Demons,” Tara explains. “Usually, they look like pretty ladies. Since there are a lot of people trekking north from Thebe, it’s hard to spot her, but if you see anyone with wonky legs, that’s probably her. As far as gory, don’t worry. We just hurl insults at her.”
“What? We just bully her to death?” I ask.
Cait nods with a weary expression. “It’s honestly really boring. It gets depressing, too, because she starts crying when she gets down to half of her health bar.”
Are the game developers sadists? This quest sounds absolutely miserable for everyone involved. She’s killing travelers, though, so I guess it’s necessary. Still…
After putting my dirty dish in the bucket of water that Sylvia uses for washing, I take a moment to look toward the city while stretching.
Of all the side quests, Phemie’s sounds like the easiest one to manage.
I just need to deliver eight gifts and then tell her that she can’t tell her kids love doesn’t exist just because her dead husband was a dick.
I click on the quest and look at where it is on the map. It’s blessedly on the outskirts of town nearest to our camp. Maybe I can finish this one in time to start another.
“I’m heading out,” I say, waving at my friends.
Guy jumps from his seat by the fire and rushes over. “How about I help you?” he asks.
There’s no rule stating that I have to do these quests alone, and having an extra pair of hands could prove helpful.
“Sure,” I say. “I’m going to Phemie’s house first. It’s not far.”
Everyone wishes us good luck, and we make our trek to town.
“You still look so good,” Guy says, once we’re out of earshot of our group. “Even after spending a night in a tent.”
I smile, pleased by his flattery. “You’re not bad to look at yourself.”
Guy responds with a smirk. “I wasn’t fishing for a compliment, but I appreciate it.”
“You really do look like Ryan Reynolds,” I tell him.
He laughs. “I don’t see it, but I’ll take it.”
Guy twines his fingers with mine. I look down at our clasped hands and then at him.
“I thought it might make the trip to town a little nicer if I was touching you,” he says.
The wholesome act is so genuinely sweet, adorable even, that it endears me to him. It feels…right.
I’m fucking terrified.