Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
No one wants to be near the city anymore. Once Aphrodite left, we were left with the evidence of the horrors we committed. Yes, we saved a princess, but in the process, we killed a dozen people.
I had actually charmed one of our foes into killing his allies. He chose to fall on his spear after accusing me of being a monster. I can’t spend a silent moment without that scene playing on a loop in my mind.
Beauteous monster. Beauteous monster. Beauteous monster.
I keep as busy as possible, hoping to drown it out.
We make camp far enough away from Dardanus that we can turn our backs to it and gaze ahead at the distant shoreline.
One boat trip and we’ll be in Thrace, and it will take less than a day to reach Khione in Ismarus.
Will I be ready? Aphrodite had been clear that I needed to complete every quest I can before I give Khione Aphrodite’s super secret message. Yet, I’m still only at level three.
Maybe tonight, I’ll level up. After all, I took on a much higher-level monster while on an escort quest, completed the empusa quest peacefully, helped Dolius and Cyrus get together, and…No, I don’t want to recall that last quest. It’s complete; that’s all that matters.
We’re all eating stew for dinner, and Joshua keeps looking over the campfire and chuckling at me.
It’s because I still have “Virgin of Aphrodite” over my head.
I tried to revert it to say “Cleric,” but I just keep getting an error message.
An error message. I don’t believe that for a second.
Aphrodite’s fucking with me because I disobeyed her.
I should be more annoyed with Joshua about his teasing, but I’m a touch grateful for the distraction from my intrusive thoughts. Cait seems angry about it, though. Every time he laughs at me, she gets redder and redder.
Finally, she snaps. “There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, you know! It only means you haven’t had sex. That’s not a bad thing.”
“But she’s like twenty-seven,” Joshua responds, “and assigned to the Goddess of Love and Sex.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Sylvia says, rolling her eyes. Even she’s tired of this. “The irony is terrific. Can we move past this already?”
“Actually, a Virgin of Aphrodite doesn’t mean Lauren’s never had sex,” Tara says. “It just means she isn’t married.” She squints her eyes in deep thought. “At least, I’m pretty sure that’s what I read in my western history textbook.”
“Eventually my title will change,” I say. “I just have to earn a new one or at least go back to the original one.”
Guy leans close to me and whispers in my ear, “I can at least help you disprove it.”
His breath tickles me pleasantly, and his words are seductive. I’d love nothing more than to let him, but guilt overrides desire. I want him and Cait. That makes me a cheater, right?
I’ve had “Opposites Attract” by Paula Abdul stuck in my head since we made camp, which is a really weird soundtrack to the occasional disturbing visions of the aftermath of our battle.
“Two steps forward, two steps back” followed by King Dardanus’s charred and smoking corpse is jarring to say the least.
But when I look at Cait, it all disappears.
The song silences, and the memories sweep away, leaving her face and voice.
When we first met, my swearing completely put her off.
Sometimes, I annoy the shit out of her, too, and she’s grumpy as hell.
Despite that, she’s listened to me more than any of my other companions, and her empathy is sincere.
You know when Cait really cares because she doesn’t placate anyone.
Fuck, I want to complete Aphrodite’s new quest. The firelight complements her warm features, and without her leather armor on, the muscular tone in her otherwise slender arms stands out.
I’d love nothing more than to kiss her—on her lips, her fingers, her everything.
I want to touch her in such a way that I ease the tension she bears all day and pull a sigh from her.
I wouldn’t do any of that without permission, though, and I’m uncertain I’ll ever get that from her.
She’s spent her life being perfect for a family that had very conservative ideas about what a woman is and what a woman does.
If they drilled into her that it wasn’t ladylike to play sports or video games, I can only imagine how they’d feel about lesbianism.
Thankfully, there’s no time limit on this quest. Maybe I can feel things out with her more, take my time, ease into a romantic moment, and ask for a kiss.
And if she doesn’t say “yes,” well, maybe the quest will update, and the attempt will be enough to satisfy Aphrodite.
I wonder what my goddess’s stance on consent is.
She was pretty vague about that whole quest to seduce King Dardanus.
If Cait doesn’t want a kiss, I won’t force it on her, even if it angers Aphrodite.
Love isn’t about taking what you want from others.
Shit. Did I just liken this to love?
Guy yawns and puts his arm around me. “I think I’m going to sleep now.”
I see the invitation in his eyes and know it’s not for sex because nothing like that’s going to happen in the tent we share with everyone else. He wants to spoon or something. However, I know that the moment I close my eyes, I’ll think about today’s battle.
“I think I need to take a night stroll away from the group,” I tell him. “Clear my head and stuff, you know?”
He nods, understanding. “Just be careful. Who knows what’s lurking out there?”
Guy stands up and walks over to the tent. Joshua, Sylvia, and our new member, Miko, follow him. Now, it’s just Tara, Cait, and I left to tend the fire and observe the starry sky. I get up from my seat and let the group know I’m going on a walk.
“Did you tell Guy?” Cait asks.
“Yeah, I’m hoping it will help me sleep better tonight.”
“He’s right, you know,” Cait says. “The dracaenae makes me think that there are some rogue monsters about.”
“I’ll be careful,” I say as I get to my feet.
Cait stands up and walks over to me. “I’m not letting you walk alone.”
I want to argue with her that I need to be alone. That was my intent, after all. However, I know she’s making a practical decision for safety reasons, and I appreciate that. Also, I can’t help romanticizing about a stroll under the stars with her.
For both reasons, I smile and say, “Sounds good.”
Tara waves at us. “Have fun. I’ll be up for a while making sure the fire completely dies out. Try to be back before it does.”
Cait responds with a nod. “Will do.”
Our camp is on a flat stretch of ground, high enough from the road that we can see in the distance but nowhere near the peaks that sweep the sky.
It’s all so beautiful. The developers did a good job with the landscape, but my heart sinks, knowing those stars aren’t real.
The sky isn’t really even real because there isn’t an entire universe beyond them.
At least, I think. I would never imagine that someone like me could live in a video game, but here I am.
We walk along a path that occasionally forces us to climb upward. Though I’ve gotten used to trekking all over Peripeteia, this still wears me out, and soon enough, I ask Cait if we can sit for a moment and stargaze. She doesn’t look tired, but she agrees.
The ground is craggy and uncomfortable, but it’s nice to give my legs a break. We sit in silence, and that’s all it takes for the horrific images to return.
Cait squeezes my hand. “It will get better.”
I turn to her. “What will?”
“I know we’re realizing NPCs can feel, but these quests are built so that if one of them dies, they respawn,” she says. “I’m sure we weren’t the first players to wind up in a battle there.”
“What if we broke the quest, though?” I ask.
Cait gives me a consoling smile. “Remember when I said I was going back to get something I left at Dolius’s stall?”
I nod.
“I was just checking on the quest,” she says. “The shoppers and merchants were back, even Dolius and Cyrus. Everyone acted like nothing had happened. All those guards we killed were back, too.”
“And Dardanus?” I ask.
Cait shakes her head. “He wasn’t there, but I kept hearing people talk about how Queen Idaea was planning a festival soon.”
My breath stops as my chest heaves, and a sob escapes me.
Tears flow from me like river rapids, and Cait nudges my head to her shoulder.
The sudden burst of grief makes Cait’s touch seem like it’s happening to someone else.
It’s like Cait is holding a different Lauren and letting that one cry on her shoulder.
“Go ahead,” she says. “I cried a lot when I was new here, before I met Sylvia and Tara. I wish I hadn’t been alone back then. I won’t let you be alone right now.”
Cait soothes me enough that I’m able to wipe my wet cheeks and lift my head to look at her.
She’s usually so hard, chiding one second and bringing down justice the next.
She can be so kind, though. And now, she’s so tender.
This show of vulnerability is so rare for her, and I swear to myself I’ll cherish it forever.
“Why are you so nice to me?” I ask her. “I know I get on your nerves.”
Cait laughs. “You really do, but…” She quiets a moment and studies me. “You really make up for it. Your heart is concerned more about peace than romance. It’s rare when you meet someone who cares for people the way you do.”
We gaze at each other, and our connection is undeniable. I swear there’s a promise of desire in the way she looks at me. I think about caressing her cheek and admitting that I long for her, but then a wolf howls.
“That wasn’t all that close, but it wasn’t far away either,” Cait says.
I turn to look at our camp and have to squint to make out the glow of dying embers. “Yeah, we should go.”
When we reach the tent, Tara has just wrapped things up and is heading inside herself. The three of us wish each other a goodnight, and I curl up under the heavy blanket I bought from Dolius when we were in Thebe.
Instead of the battle, when my eyes close, my mind wanders to what might have been if that wolf hadn’t howled. Then, I hear the disembodied voice.
“Cleric of Aphrodite: Level 4. Spell Gained: Mass Healing. Skill Gained: Passive Insight.”
Thank God. Well, thank Goddess, I suppose. I open my menu and see that my title has changed back to Cleric of Aphrodite.
“Appreciate it,” I silently pray to the Goddess of Love. “I’ll try my best. Promise.”