Chapter 37
Chapter Thirty-Seven
We weren’t even remotely prepared to help Orpheus escape these women.
This is like keeping a heartthrob singer safe from a horde of raving fans.
They all want a piece of him—literally. After failing to save his love, Eurydice, from the underworld, he didn’t have it in him to pursue romance ever again.
The Cicones women of Thrace didn’t enjoy hearing that.
Even if he’d accepted their advances, he’d still be in deep shit.
At least fifty women surround us right now.
What was he supposed to do? Take every single one of them on a date?
And what if they weren’t into the idea of sharing?
I’m in a throuple, but polyamory on that level sounds like a recipe for disaster.
So, it was either get throttled for saying “no” or for saying “yes” to someone else. Poor guy.
When we spotted Orpheus, he was playing his golden lyre near the northern gate, the one we didn’t use to enter Ismarus.
Like Alexander, he has a brooding expression.
The game devs copied Alexander’s template and pasted it to create Orpheus.
The only actual difference is that while Alexander has dark hair and eyes, Orpheus has a mop of red hair, and his eyes shine like copper.
When I got his attention, he wasn’t startled in the least by the throngs of other players behind me.
His programming wasn’t made for noticing anything other than the player directly interacting with him.
As soon as I greeted him, he looked past me toward the distance and his eyes widened in panic.
He exclaimed something about how they’d found him and then all these angry women with rabid expressions came stampeding down the streets.
Fortunately, we got him through the northern gates out into the wilds pretty fast. Unfortunately, this has given the Cicones women enough space to surround us. There are so many more of them than us, and I suddenly wish we’d helped the newbies level up a bit before tackling this.
Us casters and healers stick close to Orpheus so that we can hurl our spells from a distance and heal him quickly if need be.
It’s also because we’re the easiest to kill.
The DPS and tank players circle around us.
There are fewer of us than the Circones, but we have enough that Cait isn’t within my reach, and I hate that.
What if she gets hurt? It will be hard to heal her when there’s so many people between us.
“It’ll be okay,” Guy whispers, noticing the trembling of the hand I’m using to hold my staff. “This was pretty easy when I did it.”
“Oh, yeah?” I respond. “Sure seems like we have to murder an army of angry ladies.”
Guy frowns. “Well, you have a point there. At the time, these were just NPCs, but we know now that they’re far more than that. Nevertheless, it’s kill or be killed.”
Why choose? That question echoes through me again. I completed that quest, but its truth haunts me. Once again, the game wants me to choose between saving the NPCs or the players. Is there a way to do both?
So far, no one has attacked. The women are wise enough to know they can’t just lunge past a bunch of people with weapons, but their eyes are as manic as ever.
It’s only a matter of time before they figure out a way to push through our defenses.
Maybe they’ll just wait until we’re tired and distracted.
That will be a while, though. This should give me enough time to think using my Strategy Under Duress skill. If there’s another solution, maybe I can find it in time.
I consider using my staff to charm them into going away, but this only works on one person at a time. They’re going to notice if one of their friends suddenly changes her mind and probably attack sooner to avoid being charmed themselves.
Find a way for both Orpheus and the women to both get what they want? This isn’t like Sardis, when Arachne’s children and the villagers could share resources peacefully. The only thing these women want is this man’s body, heart, and soul.
If I want to get rid of them without anyone getting hurt, I have to convince them they don’t really want Orpheus. That means figuring out what they actually want, though.
I use my Insight skill to study them. Each woman looks bloodthirsty.
They’ve curled their fingers like talons, ready to claw him apart.
Their hair and clothes are in complete disarray.
Their eyes have the feverish shine of violent mania, but there’s something behind that: loneliness, disillusionment, heartbreak.
“Orpheus, how did you meet these women?” I ask.
“I was playing a concert dedicated to my Eurydice in the temple,” he answers. “These women were all part of the audience and approached me to talk about how much my music inspired them. After that, they became…well, like that.” He gestures at the throng of Circones women.
“So, you were playing your lyre?”
Orpheus nods.
“And you were playing your lyre when they found you later?”
“Yes,” Orpheus says. “I had been hiding in a storeroom for days, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought if I could get a little light, it would give me the will to live on. The sunshine on the snow so moved me I had to play my lyre, and—”
“What were you thinking about when you played the lyre in the temple?” I ask him.
“Eurydice, of course,” he answers.
“And you were just a moment ago thinking about the sunshine on the snow?”
Orpheus starts to nod, then shakes his head instead. “The sunshine on the snow inspired me, but it reminded me of when Eurydice and I threw snowballs at each other. That was the day we first kissed.”
I remember reading in high school that his lyre is magical. It can soothe beasts and bring peace to hearts. Can it also cause heartbreak? Or at least reopen old wounds? If so, he really fucked himself over by thinking so much about the dead woman he still loves.
“When you play, your emotions cast spells on others,” I say. “You’ve broken every heart here just by thinking about how you’ve lost the love of your life while you’re using your lyre. What would you do if Eurydice was back and didn’t want to be with you?”
“Not kill her!” he answers.
“But would you kill someone who was keeping you from trying to be with her?”
Orpheus’s eyes widen. “Oh, no…” he whispers.
“Get out your lyre now and play a song that makes them happy or some shit,” I say.
“But I don’t know how to make cheerful music anymore,” he says, his penny eyes gazing forlornly into the middle distance.
“Jesus Fucking Christ,” I mutter. “You emo romanceable NPCs are going to be the death of me. Literally.”
Wait…Romanceable. Just like Alexander, he’s heartbroken over a deceased lover, and he also has his own romantic quest line. This means that the game developers always meant for him to get over Eurydice, as long as the player willed it.
I lean close to Guy and whisper, “This means nothing, okay. You and Cait still have my whole heart.”
Guy opens his mouth, probably to ask me what I mean, but I don’t wait to hear whatever it is he wants to say.
I grab Orpheus’s face and turn it toward mine, then look up at him with what I hope is a seductive expression and plant my lips on him.
Pretty sure a peck won’t do the trick, so I give it all I’ve got.
If I want to shortcut through what is probably a slow burn romance, I need to pull out all the bells and whistles.
I even silently call on Aphrodite for help.
May my lips be soft and warm, I pray, my tongue be skilled, my touch sear him with lust. Let this kiss be one for the record books.
When I pull away, Orpheus stares at me, stunned. His jaw is slack, and his hair is mussed from where I grabbed him. And there’s a spark in his eyes that wasn’t there before. It’s not love; it’s awareness. I’ve broken Orpheus.
A growl rumbles through the crowd of Circones women surrounding us. It must have pissed them off seeing me kiss the object of their violent desires.
Orpheus brings out his lyre and plays a new tune. This wasn’t bittersweet like the one I heard when I approached him. It isn’t sad at all. The only emotion emanating from this instrument is hope. Orpheus is experiencing a real, unprogrammed emotion.
As his notes drift across the throng, the women’s scowling visages soften in wonder. Their eyes become clear, alert. They gaze at each other, as if waking from a dream.
“What’s happening?” a newbie caster near me asks.
“They’re snapping out of their spell,” I answer and inwardly add, and breaking their code.
The Circones women mumble at each other, casting embarrassed glances at Orpheus occasionally. Then, without any parting words, they walk back into Ismarus like nothing had happened at all.
A notification pings, and I check my menu. “Save Orpheus” is scratched through. Being a main quest, it bumps my XP up significantly. I’m a quarter of the way to level six now. By the sounds of squeals, shouts, and laughter, this might have been enough to level up the newbies.
“It worked!” cries out a soldier near Cait.
Doug walks out of the ring we’ve formed around Orpheus and turns to face all of us. “We plan on helping all of you with side quests and such while we’re all in Ismarus,” he says. “Visit your deity, and tomorrow, we’ll figure out who will tackle these quests together.”
The low-level players clap. Doug blushes from the praise. He’s good at this! I think of all the time he wasted lounging around our apartment when he could have been doing great things. Perhaps coming to Peripeteia was the best thing to happen to him.
Or maybe it was the worst.
I think of all the photos I saw online of him with his beautiful new girlfriend. He seemed so happy.
I should talk to him, catch up on all that’s happened. There’s a chance he might know what’s up with Mom, too. What are the odds of someone I know this well winding up in such a strange situation? I suspect it isn’t a coincidence.
“That meant nothing, huh?” Guy asks, playfully elbowing me in the side.
I laugh. “Look, I had to try something!”
“It worked,” Guy responds. “Your kiss can do anything.”
He leans forward to claim my lips for himself, but before he can, Cait inserts herself between us. Her stern eyes are on mine. Am I in trouble?
“Look, I’m all for our little threesome,” she says, “but we’re not bringing an NPC into this.”
“It was just one kiss,” I say. “All it did is break his programming. It’s not like we’re dating now or—”
A hand slips into mine, one with calloused fingers from playing his lyre for so many years. “Lauren,” he says, “your love has saved me from a terrifying death. Let me repay you by worshipping your body tonight.”
“Fuck,” I whisper.
Cait crosses her arms. “Take care of it,” she says, then she grabs Guy’s hand. “We’ll be doing our own thing until you sort out Mr. Romanceable NPC.”
Guy looks at Cait with puppy dog eyes. “But I wanted a kiss.”
“Fine,” Cait relents like she’s giving in to a child that wants candy. “We’ll both get a kiss first.”
Smiling, Guy wraps one arm around my waist and cups the back of my head with his free hand. “I better make this good,” he whispers against my ear, sending pleasant tingles up and down my body. “If Orpheus is even half as smitten as I am, he’ll be hard to shake off.”
Guy’s kiss is slow, skilled, and deep, purposefully making me weak in the knees. When we part, the first thing I see is Cait’s lustful gaze.
“God, that’s so hot,” she says. “You better get rid of this guy so we can have another night like last night.”
Cait doesn’t take her time. Her lips crash against mine, causing an inferno of desire to spread throughout me. Her hands seek every delightful spot she discovered in bed, and I sulk when she pulls away.
Guy and Cait lock hands. “We’ll see you later,” Cait says with a wicked grin. She knows she’s given me enough incentive to launch Orpheus to the moon if necessary.
The lyre-playing hero leans for his own kiss, and I hold up a hand between us. “Look, Orpheus, you’re a really nice guy, but I think we should just be friends.”
Orpheus nods. “Friends works for me.” A seductive grin crooks up. “You should see what I do with my ‘friends.’”
I groan in frustration. “Dude, weren’t you just so heartbroken over Eurydice that you couldn’t be bothered to accept a date with all those women we just fended off?!”
“None of them were like you,” he says.
Orpheus tries to put his arm around my waist, but I step away in time.
“Sorry, but the feeling isn’t mutual,” I tell him. “I’m sure you’ll find a lovely girl who likes lyre music and grabby hands.”
“But I only want you!” Orpheus insists. He steps toward me again. “How can you kiss me like that and say you don’t want this? Every time you say ‘no,’ all I hear is ‘yes.’”
I press a hand over my mouth, certain that I’m going to puke. This is what the game devs thought made for a romanceable NPC?
“Look, there’s this thing called consent,” I tell him, “and you don’t have mine. Now, back the hell off.”
My words mean nothing to Orpheus. He grabs my hand and pulls me toward him. I’m sure he’s about to lay a disgusting kiss on me, when suddenly something yanks him away. No, not something. Someone.
Joshua grips Orpheus by the back of his collar. He has his mouth close to the NPC’s ear, but he doesn’t bother to whisper when he says, “Don’t be gross. The woman said ‘no.’ You need to respect that. Got it?”
Orpheus nods frantically. “Y-yes!”
“Now go board the Argo like you’re supposed to after this quest,” Joshua says as he releases his grip.
Orpheus doesn’t wait to talk more. He dashes into the woods and out of sight.
“Joshua, did you just save me from a pervert?” I ask him.
“Look, there’s a difference between being a pervert and forcing people to be with you,” he responds. “I will always respect a woman’s boundaries.”
Miko comes to his side and puts her hand in his. She looks at him with heavy-lidded eyes and a sexy smile. “That was hot,” she tells him in a husky voice.
Joshua blushes all over and ducks his head as he smiles. He whispers something to her that makes her giggle. Then he clears his throat and turns to me with a failed attempt at nonchalance on his face.
“Miko and I are…going out for a while,” he says. “We’ll see you later.”
Just when I’m about to run back into Ismarus to find Cait and Guy, Doug approaches. Goddamn it! I just want to have mind-blowing sex with my partners! Why does everyone want to talk to me right now?
I will myself to remain patient and smile at Doug when he reaches me. “Good job,” I tell him. “You make quite the leader.”
Doug laughs. “Yeah, I never saw that coming.” He sighs and then says, “Look, there’s stuff we need to talk about. Important real-world stuff.”
I nod slowly. He’s right. As much as I want to jump into the sack with Cait and Guy, I can’t neglect everything else that matters.
“Yeah,” I say. “While everyone else is busy in the temple, let’s find a place to sit and chat.”