Chapter 7
CASSANDRA
“Idon’t like this.”
“I know, Dad. You’ve mentioned it once or twice.” Or seventeen times.
“There’s no rush, Cassie,” Mom said from the backseat. “Why don’t you wait a week or two?”
“I want to get settled.” The feeling that I was running out of time was constant these days. “The baby will be here soon. And I guess . . . I’d rather get to know Leo before she’s born. This isn’t permanent. I still have my plans, but I can save some money on rent.”
“It’s not like we’re charging you.” Dad whacked the turn signal too hard, following my directions toward Leo’s house.
I’d only been to his home once and though I knew exactly where he lived, Leo had sent the address over this morning.
“Don’t worry. It will be fine.” Maybe. Hopefully. Though the knot in my stomach betrayed my outward confidence.
Why had I agreed to this? Obviously, I was losing my ever-loving mind.
But no matter how many doubts raced through my mind, they hadn’t stopped me from packing this morning.
It was like my body just moved on autopilot, loading clothes and toiletries and books.
Luckily, most of my belongings were still in boxes and a suitcase from when I’d left Missoula.
Dad’s shoulders were hunched forward as he gripped the steering wheel with too much force. Mom was worrying her lip between her teeth and her knees were bouncing.
“It will be okay.” Was I telling them? Or myself?
Leo had looked so sincere last night. For the first time, he’d admitted his fears. He’d dropped that guard, and when he’d offered to let me stay with him, he’d looked so . . . fragile. Desperate.
My okay had just slipped out.
Yes, I was still angry at him for how he’d treated me but last night’s conversation had taken us a long way in what I hoped was the right direction. My foolish heart had melted when he’d stood outside my window, like he couldn’t wait to see me until morning.
When he’d confessed to being lost, I’d had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. His words had been so honest, and in the end, that was all I wanted. His honesty.
I had hope for Leo. And for this baby, I wouldn’t give up on him.
Not yet.
If he failed me, us, then I’d cut him loose. Just thinking of walking away made my chest ache, but I’d do what needed to be done.
Moving into his house would give me a chance to assess if he could be a part of our lives. It was only for a week or two. How hard could it be?
Dad took another turn, and I scanned the homes, taking in the details I’d missed the dark night I’d spent with Leo and the morning after. The neighborhood wasn’t new to Clifton Forge, but it was new to me. None of my friends from school had lived here.
“This is a nice neighborhood,” Mom said, forcing cheer into her voice. Her knees bounced faster.
“Yeah.” I swallowed the lump in my throat.
God, maybe this was stupid. Leo had worked his way into my tender heart last night and here I was, moving into his home.
My phone dinged—a text from Olive.
Hey, mama! Just checking in.
I quickly typed out a reply that I’d call her later, then tucked the phone away.
Olive was the only one of my roommates from Missoula who I’d heard from since Christmas.
All of the girls had gone to their respective homes to visit their families for the holidays and enjoy the break from school.
Two of them would be back, having not graduated yet.
Olive had moved to Seattle to start a doctoral program at the University of Washington.
I expected she’d be the only one I’d keep in touch with. Even then, she’d be busy soon with school as she settled into the program and made new friends. Meanwhile, I’d be adjusting to life with a newborn.
Drifting apart was inevitable. I could feel it coming like a bad grade on an exam.
My friends from high school no longer lived in Clifton Forge, and though there were familiar faces here and there, I didn’t have friends in town.
True friends. None who I could confide in about my fears of becoming a mother.
None who I could call when I was low. None who I’d trust with details about my predicament with Leo.
I loved my parents, but they were my parents. Right now, I was staying strong for them. Telling them about my anxieties would only make them worry more and they had plenty to worry about as it was.
Loneliness as cold as the January air crawled into my bones.
Maybe that was why I was moving here.
Because last night I’d recognized the loneliness on Leo’s face too.
Dad slowed the car—my car. They’d be dropping me off, then bringing it back after it was unpacked. They’d refused to drive separately today, probably because Dad wanted any excuse to return and check on me. Numerous times.
“This is it?” Mom’s eyes widened. “It’s . . .”
“Nice,” I finished for her, my heart beating faster as Dad pulled into the driveway beside Leo’s truck.
The night we’d met, after the car in the parking lot of The Betsy, he’d asked me to come home with him. I’d expected a cramped bachelor pad with an unkempt yard. But his home was charming.
The rancher stretched across the wide lot, leaving room for the driveway and a detached garage.
The house itself was brick and had been painted a navy blue.
With the honey-colored posts and shutters on each window, it was surprisingly feminine.
The porch was decorated with two white pots, each with a pruned topiary tree.
“Is this it?” Dad squinted at the front door and the numbers beside it.
I didn’t have to answer him because that very door opened, and Leo came striding outside.
His long-sleeved T-shirt was pushed up at the forearms, revealing those colorful tattoos I was coming to find familiar.
Maybe he’d tell me about them and satisfy my curiosity.
His faded jeans molded around his strong thighs with every long step, falling to those scuffed boots he’d insisted on taking off last night.
If Mom knew that he cared about her carpet, she’d probably kiss him on the mouth.
A low growl came from Dad’s chest as he watched Leo come to my door.
“I love you, Dad.”
His hands strangled the wheel. “I love you too, Buttercup.”
“I know.” It was the reason he was here, because he loved me enough to let me make my own mistakes. I gave him a small smile as Leo opened my door. Then I swung my legs out and took his hand, joining him in the cold. “Hi.”
“Hey.” His eyes were greener this morning. “You sure about this?”
“Are you?”
“I’m not sure about anything anymore.”
These confessions of his were going to be my undoing. “Let’s start with unloading a few bags. Then we’ll go from there.”
Mom and Dad climbed out of the car and both stared at Leo. If awkward were a sweater, this one fit like a scratchy wool turtleneck that choked and stifled.
Mom looked Leo up and down. Twice. She looked at the home, then back at the man who owned it, and after a slight headshake, like she couldn’t marry the two together, she walked to the trunk.
Dad stood beside his door, looking over the roof of the car at Leo. He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ll hit you again if I need to. I’ll hit you a million times if you hurt her. I don’t like you.”
Oh, Dad. I swallowed a groan.
“Dale,” Mom hissed.
“There’s no point in anything but brutal honesty here, Rose Petal. I can’t stand him. I don’t trust him. And he’s not good enough for Cassie.”
Ouch. I braced, waiting for Leo’s reaction.
But he simply nodded. “Understood.”
As Dad continued to glare at him, Leo stood there and endured every second. He didn’t raise his chin or puff out his chest like my wonderful, maddening father. Leo took every moment of Dad’s scorn and had the sense to look remorseful.
Maybe he really was.
Mom noticed because when I met her gaze, that glare of hers had faded. She gave me a sad smile, then said, “Dale, it’s cold. Pop the trunk.”
Dad obeyed and joined us all at the back. Leo reached for a bag but Dad snatched it up first.
Leo’s jaw clenched but he didn’t say a word. He simply chose two other bags, hefted them out and led the way to the door.
“Okay, you guys have to leave.” I took a backpack out and slung it over my shoulder. “Right now.”
Dad’s face whipped my way. “What? We’re not—”
“Yes, you are.” I took the bag from his hand, wishing I had thought of this earlier.
When they’d insisted on coming along, I should have put my foot down.
“You can come inside when you bring the car back, but for right this minute, you need to go. I can’t play referee and deal with everything else at the same time. ”
“Cassie—”
“Okay.” Mom cut him off. “How long would you like?”
“Give me an hour or two.”
Dad shook his head. “No. I don’t trust him.”
“Leo’s not going to hurt me, Dad. He’s going to show me around the house and let me get settled into a guest room. Please, trust me to make the right decision.”
He closed his eyes and blew out a deep breath. Maybe the reason he hesitated was because he didn’t trust me. Or maybe he didn’t trust the world. Not that I blamed him. In the past year, I’d gotten pregnant and kidnapped. One was a result of my own choices, but the kidnapping had changed Dad.
It had changed us all.
“We’ll be back.” Mom kissed me on the cheek.
Her hair, the same shade as mine, was pulled into a knot today. In the winter sun, she looked older. Another side effect of the past year. Mom and Dad had both aged. Dad’s hair was more white than blond and the crinkles around his eyes had deepened.
“Thank you,” I said as Dad hauled out two boxes and a suitcase, setting them on the driveway. Then with a kiss to my forehead, he and Mom returned to the car and left.
They were barely onto the street when Leo rejoined me. “They left.”
“I asked them to.” I stared at the taillights. “They worry about me. Too much. I need to do better figuring out my life so they can get back to living theirs.”