Chapter 11
Eleven
Eloise
To the surprise of no one, Taylor never responded to my text to get drinks to go over our stories before Grouse Grind.
We’re closing in on it, and my heart has started to have palpitations at the thought of lying to Brynn.
I’ve started to really like her. She’s bright and bubbly, and she really pulls the team together.
It’s been delightful getting to know her, and I think it would kill me to lie to her.
I’m sitting in the booth that the team has at Gin and Bear It, enjoying the antics of a few sophomore players and one of our new rookies, Hazel. The ink on her contract is still wet, but we’re out here supporting her as a team.
The warm, fuzzy feeling that settles in my bones is different from when I was playing for the Chill. I don’t think that the team ever felt as much of a family as this has.
“Eloise, just the woman I wanted to see!” I hear a loud voice coming from the door and turn to see Winnie. She pushes her way over before sitting beside me, wrapping her arms around me tightly. I hug her back, pretending to squeak as she tightens her hold for a second.
“Winnie, who did you just finish terrorizing?”
Her laughter fills the room and her eyes narrow mischievously.
“It better not have been the equipment room manager. Inaya has been on my ass about it,” Brynn says, sidling into a seat across from us. Winnie’s cheeks grow pink.
“Pffft, I would never do that to Inaya.”
Brynn rolls her eyes, taking a drink of her beer. “Right,” she turns her attention to me, “How are you doing, Eloise?”
I smile, but it doesn’t feel right. Her brown eyes narrow slightly as she takes another drink. She knows something. “I’m good, everything’s good. Winnie helped me find a place earlier this week and-“
“How are you and Taylor getting on?”
I try to keep from flinching. “We’re good.”
She raises an eyebrow, and Winnie wanders away for a moment, giving us some privacy. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, we’re having fun. We’re getting drinks later this week.”
Not a total lie. “You know that Taylor and I live together, right?” she asks, and wow, wouldn’t that have been great to know?
“Yeah, she mentioned that. We didn’t want to invade your space.”
Brynn leans back, her perfectly manicured eyebrow arched. There has to be some sweat rolling down my face. I don’t know how much more I can withstand. “You know that wouldn’t have been a problem.”
I feel my smile start to slip. “Yeah, of course. We’ll try to get a board game night on the schedule soon so you can join.” Someone—I’m assuming Winnie—slips in beside me.
“Yeah, of course, Brynn. We’ve just been trying to get to know each other on neutral ground.
” The hard voice says beside me. Shivers run down my spine when I turn to look at Taylor.
She’s glowing in the light, eyes wide and lined with kohl.
Her cheeks are bronzed and dusted with a golden highlight.
My heart is blocking my throat when I try my hardest not to look at her entire outfit.
Does she want me to…? How are we supposed to act?
“We figured it was safer to meet in public,” I say, clearing my throat. Winnie is coming up behind Brynn with wide eyes and a smile that is taking over her whole face. I stare at her, trying to get her to leave us alone for a minute, but she comes closer.
Taylor takes this time to wrap an arm around my neck and pull me flush against her body.
My whole body is like an inferno.
Winnie slams a drink down in front of me, sitting beside Brynn, and I drink it quickly, not even tasting the alcohol that’s in it. My breath is shaky, and my heartbeat is thundering through my ears. I’m going to have to sit on my hands to make sure she doesn’t realize how much this is affecting me.
I can feel her breath fanning across my cheek, and my heartbeat stops with each caress.
The world around us is slowing to a crawl, and holy fuck, I don’t think I noticed how beautiful this woman is, the way her eyelashes fan and her eyes look vibrant in the afternoon light.
The smattering of freckles and her dark blonde hair catch my gaze, and her floral perfume is light enough that I can only smell it this close to her, but it smells like home.
Fuck me. I’m never getting over this crush.
How inconvenient.
“Public, eh?” Winnie says, smiling a shit-eating grin at the two of us, and I nod, my brain stuttering back into gear. “What have you tried doing?”
“Bowling,” I say without thinking.
Brynn and Winnie look at each other for a second before bursting into peels of laughter.
Taylor removes her arm from my shoulders to hold her ribs as she laughs too, making my cheeks heat up, and I laugh awkwardly as I watch them.
Winnie gasps for breath, wiping tears from her eyes. I didn’t think I was that funny.
Winnie tries to be serious for a moment. “Shit, El, sorry. We were talking about the pros of going bowling on a date just last week, and well—”
“There were differing opinions,” Brynn says, catching her breath.
Taylor places her hand on my leg for a brief moment, but it sears itself into my skin. I’m going to have to check to make sure that I’m not scarred before our next practice. I move myself back, not wanting to spook her, and make excuses before going to the bathroom.
The swooping feeling of my emotions, the way she feels beside me, the complete whiplash between earlier this week and now, I don’t know how to process it.
My ribs must be bruised from the inside with the way my heart is trying to break free.
My hands are shaking as I set them on the counter, breathing deeply, trying to get my reactions in check before I go back out there.
The way I’m lying to Brynn is making my body revolt against me.
Every cell, every fibre of my being is telling me that this is a surefire way to lose my new family. I have a family that doesn’t know everything, that doesn’t understand why hockey means so much to me. They told me to quit hockey and use my degree.
The ones who wanted their daughters to be dainty and lovely and not gay.
Well, my sister is bi, but they can’t handle a raging lesbian daughter.
I—fuck.
I need to calm down; I can’t think about them right now. It’s going to do nothing else other than hurt me. I hear a knock on the door, and a flash of panic that flows through me as Taylor peeks in.
Her brows are furrowed as her green eyes pass over me. She’s got this tight black skirt on and a flowy white top and everything about the woman has me losing my fucking mind. “What’s wrong?”
“We are. We’re lying to Brynn,” I say, my breath coming out in short bursts.
“She won’t know. She believed everything we’ve said.”
“No, she’s going to ask, and I’m going to mess up, and I can’t mess this up, Taylor,” I pause. “Why do we have to do this? Why can’t we actually just hang out?” The last word comes out in a whine, and I can’t—I don’t—I don’t know how much more of the lying I can take.
“Because…” she says.
I’m going to scream. “Because, why? I know you got injured, and I’ve apologized; I know that you lost your partner and I’m trying to build a new partnership; I know that you caught your fiancé cheating on you, and I shared my woes, but I’m not the reason why you’re so fucking miserable.
You are.” Her eyes narrow, gaze hardening as I gasp for breath.
“You cannot blame me for your life spiralling.”
“I don’t blame you for everything.”
The laugh that escapes me is maniacal. “Well, what the fuck are you doing, because I’m your scapegoat. Everything bad that’s happened to you is somehow my fault, and now we’re lying to Brynn, and I just met her in a setting where we are colleagues. I don’t have the social capital to do this!”
“Do what?”
“Whatever this shit is!” I wave my hand back and forth between us. “Can we please just do what she asked? What the coaches asked? Just get to know each other and then learn how to work with each other?”
My chest is heaving; nothing is hitting my lungs. I think I’m hyperventilating.
“Fine.” Her shoulders raise with a shrug.
The blood pounding through my body and rushing through my ears makes me wonder what I just heard. I blink a few times, trying to process what she said.
“What did you just say to me?” I ask, and she gives me a straight face in response, her jaw is tight, her lips a thin line and not an emotion in sight.
“Fine, let’s do it your way.”
I think my eyes are going to fall out of my head. “Are pigs flying?” I whisper to myself, “I have to be dreaming.”
She crosses her arms, narrowing her eyes, and I have to stop myself from laughing. “I’m serious. If you’re so fucking concerned about this, then yeah, we’ll go with your plan,” she says.
My head is spinning. Is this what whiplash is?
Maybe I’m just dreaming. Someone pinch me.
“Ground rules,” I say, leaning against the sink.
I still think I have to be dreaming. There’s no way she’s going to agree to any of this.
“You have to respond when I text you. You can’t scowl when you see me, and you have to be able to have a conversation with me without it looping back to how I’m the bane of your existence and that it’s my fault Rosie left.
Because I can tell you without a doubt, I wasn’t planning on leaving the Chill. ”
Her mouth is still a straight line as she nods.
“Fine, but you can’t—”
I hold a finger out to stop her, and somehow we’ve shifted closer to each other, because my hand is nearly brushing her lips. “No berating me. I have done nothing to you.”
She tries to hold back a scowl, but I can see her face twitching. I smother a smile, because if she sees me smiling, she will kill me. Rules be damned.
The door opens, and we both jump back. Winnie pokes her head in, pink hair bright and smile mischievous. “Everything alright in here?”
“Yeah, of course,” I say and Taylor nods before leaving. Winnie and I look at each other for a moment.
“You were loud.”
I can feel the blood drain from my face. “Did Brynn hear?”
“Nah, I was eavesdropping. But you did well.”
I bite back a groan. “You can’t eavesdrop. I barely have her on my side on a good day.”
“Well, she is now.” Her grin gets bigger, which seems uncomfortable because how on earth is that possible. “You were pretty close to her. Is there anything else I should know about?”
“Other than the raging crush I have on her not budging? No, I don’t think so.”
She rolls her eyes. “We’ll find you someone new.” I bite back a groan as she places her arm around me and directs me out of the bathroom. “Even if it’ll kill ya.”