Chapter 23 #2
Wincing, I leave my bed and softly walk out into the hallway where I can clearly see Brynn slamming the fridge close, a beer in her hand. Shockingly, Winnie is sitting quietly at the kitchen counter, watching Brynn take her anger out on the bottle opener.
“Hey,” I say softly.
Brynn’s shoulders tighten as she slowly turns to me. “Hey?” she asks incredulously. “Hey?”
Winnie gives a soft wave with a smirk. She looks me up and down knowingly, as if I’ve been branded with “Girl Kisser” or “Newly Bisexual” or something along those lines on my forehead.
“Yeah…”
“You are just going to say ‘Hey’ after disappearing from practice? After Lawson reamed you out and then Eloise came back telling us that you had an emergency?” she snaps. Her usual warm brown eyes are flinty. “I thought you were dying and instead you’re saying ‘Hey?’”
Her tone is getting more shrill as we stand there.
“Look, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen. I was dealing with a lot and—”
“What could you be dealing with that is affecting you so much you had to leave? Did one of your parents die? A sibling go into a coma?”
“No, I—”
“Did you get a cancer diagnosis?”
“Well, I—”
She laughs. “Oh, I’m not done. You have no idea what shit has been broiling in my head, because why am I hearing about your issues from Eloise of all people, who last I recall, you didn’t even like?”
“Well, there’s something you haven’t been privy to recently,” I say, playing with the hem of my shirt.
Winnie snorts. “I’ll say.”
Brynn and I both glare at her before she raises an eyebrow. “It’s been a very quick turn around, you see.”
“Spit it out, Taylor,” she growls.
“I think I’m bi, and I masturbated to porn last night and kissed Eloise today in the locker room, and it was really, really good.”
“Yes!” Winnie hisses. “Was the porn good? Did you look at him or her or was it just women?”
I’m sure my cheeks are a firetruck red. Brynn looks like she’s been slapped, mouth slightly agape. Her eyes are wide, and I’m watching the words being processed through her brain.
“You kissed her?”
My stomach is in knots. I’m not sure if I want to puke or die. “I didn’t mean to, but now I’m worried that I’m going to get fired for kissing her and my contract is going to go up in flames.”
“She liked it,” Winnie says. “But, back to the porn—”
Brynn lunges across the counter and puts a finger over Winnie’s lips. My heart stops. “She liked it?” I whisper.
Winnie’s enthusiastic nods make me think that everything is going to be fine for a moment.
“It doesn’t matter if she liked it; the matter is consent and not kissing people in the locker room.
Shit, Taylor. I’m so happy you’ve told me, but now we’ve got to figure this out,” Brynn says. “Is there any way someone saw you?”
I shake my head and so does Winnie. “We were all on the ice. I mean, I think we all suspect something is going on,” she says, “The way you’ve practically glued yourself to her after you became friends was pretty obvious.”
My cheeks flame, and Brynn groans. “I just wanted you to be friends.”
I shrug with a small smile. “I guess I’m an overachiever.” Her eyes narrow into tiny slits, pinning me to my space.
“So she liked it? Maybe you should text her and ask her to come over, get on the same page and everything?” Winnie says, posing the question as Brynn sighs. She pinches the freckled skin of the bridge of her nose before nodding.
“That would make the most sense, but would this be the best spot? She may think we’re trying to silence her if she sees the three of us,” Brynn considers.
There’s a twinkle in Winnie’s eye, the blue dark with mischievousness. "A neutral place- like Oat’d."
“A coffee shop at 6, come on, Winnie,” Brynn mutters. “Maybe take her to dinner?”
“What about just showing up at her door?” Winnie says. “Bring some takeout and talk everything over.”
“She may not take too kindly to her showing up,” Brynn says. “I don’t know what I would do if Taylor kissed me at work.”
I stick my tongue out. “She has a point, Winnie. But maybe we let her settle into the thoughts and let them stew, and then I ask her for coffee tomorrow before practice.”
“We have the Ottawa Otters coming into town tomorrow. The game the next,” Brynn mutters. “We’re going to be on media overload before the game.”
“No one’s going to recognize us,” I say. “Besides, we could just say we’re getting a coffee before work.”
Brynn shakes her head. “We’re not thinking this through enough. I feel like we need to let management know.”
“They’ll bench me,” I snap, “They’ll think I’m unstable and shouldn’t be playing and who knows? Maybe they’ll ship me off before we can blink. I can’t leave.”
“You are unstable, holy shit Taylor,” Brynn snaps.
“This is a nightmare. You know what? Fine, go to Eloise’s, bring a peace offering and talk everything through.
If she’s okay with you kissing her, then we’re on solid ground, and you need to tell management that you’re pursuing a relationship with her. ”
I jump up, nodding. I grab the keys to Brynn’s car and my purse before turning back to them. “Where does she live?”
Brynn’s groan is low as I watch her pull a wine class from the cupboard and the bottle of white out of the fridge. Winnie smirks, turning to me. “Come on, drop me off on the way home, and I’ll show you where she lives.”
“Brilliant,” Brynn mutters while pouring the wine. “It’s the blind leading the blind.”
I’m tapping my foot against the floor, anxiously waiting at the door in front of me.
I knocked.
Wait, did I? No, I'm sure I did.
I hear footsteps approaching the door and it swings open. Eloise’s sharp brown eyes meet mine. She looks cozy. Her hair is tied up in a bun. She has on grey sweatpants that are a smidge too short for her and a black tank top. No bra.
Shit, she’s not wearing a bra.
Jeez.
It’s not until I’ve looked her up and down that I realize I’ve been staring her down like a cat in heat. I think I may even be drooling. “Taylor?” she asks, and I jerk my head up, nodding. “What are you doing here? It’s late.”
“Winnie told me where you lived, which, nice place.” She smothers a smile. “Can I come in?”
“Are we going to talk about what today was?”
I nod. Her smile is soft and warm, and her eyes somehow look bigger as she opens the door wider for me to walk in.
“Thanks,” I whisper, stepping into what feels like another universe.
Her place is small, and there’s still boxes everywhere, which I bet feels awful considering she’s been with us now for at least three weeks.
“No problem, ignore the boxes.” She waves a hand at them dismissively. “I just got the keys a few days ago and my things finally got shipped from Calgary.”
“You’ve been on the team for a few weeks now.”
She shrugs. “I wasn’t sure I was going to get a contract. Didn’t want to move things over and waste the money if the stars didn’t align.”
“Oh.”
She nods, walking into the small kitchen and pouring herself a cup of hot water. “Tea? It’s not caffeinated.”
I nod, standing close to her. I’m enamoured with her smell.
It’s so Eloise. It’s light and happy and complex.
Like there’s sea-salt and flowers. Her smile curves her lips as she pours another cup for me.
“Do you want to sit on the couch?” she asks.
“It’s the only thing that’s been unpacked properly. ”
“I-uh, yeah, that’d be great.”
“You’ll want to take a step back so I don’t spill my tea on you,” she says, and I automatically do so. She smiles, passing me my cup before walking around to sit on her couch. She carefully tucks a leg under her body as she sits and looks at me expectantly.
“Right, so,” I take in a shallow breath, “I wanted to apologize for kissing you today without asking. I should never have done that, and I’m worried that you hate me for it.”
She takes another sip of her tea, eyeing me with a raised eyebrow.
“It’s just…” I sigh. “Winnie got in my head about liking women, and it was a thought that never crossed my mind until we um, until I kissed your cheek in Toronto. So, she told me to watch some porn, which I did, and I think that… and kissing you… really made me realize something about me.”
“Winnie told you to watch porn?” Eloise echoes. My stomach curdles. Did I just word vomit that?
I let out an awkward chuckle because at this point I think I’d rather die than have any more of this conversation. “She said to focus on the woman, and I did, and it was so much better than what I usually do.” Ohmygod just stop talking, Taylor.
“So, you watched porn to focus on the woman, and then you kissed me in the locker room because you were so...”
“I wanted to know what it was like to kiss a woman, and you were… I—” I bite my lip at the memory and every positive experience with her.
“I thought you were the best choice, and I should have let you know what I was thinking beforehand, but I was so stuck on that train of thought that I couldn’t shake it. ”
“Is that why you couldn’t look at me all of today?”
I nod.
Her cheeks have slowly darkened in colour from a light pink to a deep shade of red. I watch her fingers shake as she repositions them around her tea, as if to soothe herself. “So how was it? I didn’t get to ask because you bolted,” she teases.
“It was,” I lick my lips at the thought. “It was everything I expected it to be, and somehow, more?”
She nods. “So, the best thing you’ve ever done?”
“Yeah. Definitely.” My words sound breathy, as though she’s punched it out of me. “I think it could be topped, though.”
She laughs. “Yeah? With what?”
“Another one?”