Chapter 18
JULES
Calvin Stewart. Can’t breathe around him. Can’t think straight either.
The chains groan as a shift slightly on the swing. How does he do this to me? First the Strategy Lab. Then the field.
I didn’t give him much of a chance out there, but why would I? He doesn’t get to disappear for ten years and suddenly act like he still knows me.
Except… some part of him still does. And maybe that’s what unsettles me most.
I know I was hard on him out there. Part of me doesn’t care. He doesn’t deserve my softness. Not after everything.
A frustrated sound escapes me as I scoff at the gravel.
Maybe I’m afraid to be soft with him again. Afraid one decent conversation will crack open everything I spent ten years trying to survive.
His nearness is unbearable. Like gravity. Like a black hole pulling everything in and leaving nothing untouched.
Behind me, gravel crunches.
Cara’s laugh, low and tired, carries on the breeze. “Still spiraling?” she asks, dropping onto the swing beside me.
“Oh, yeah.” I don’t look at her. “Just thinking about how you lit the fuse and we exploded on the field.”
Cara smirks. “Yes, Jules Avery. My bad. I just thought Calvin was… I don’t know, easygoing? Figured you two would click the second you had five minutes alone.” She nudges me. “Forgot you’re stubborn as a mule and twice as grumpy.”
I shoot her a sidelong glance. “If you ever quit your day job, you could make a living diagnosing personality flaws.”
She grins, wide and unapologetic, sunlight catching in her messy hair. “Glad I could be of service.”
I exhale, toeing the dirt beneath the swing. “It’s not just about Calvin. I just don’t want it to look like the second he decides he might want a second chance, I’ll drop everything and pretend nothing ever happened.”
I shift on the swing, restless. “I am stubborn. But if fate’s really trying to throw us together, he better fight for it this time.” I pause, the chains creaking as I sway. “And then there’s Evan.” The words come out smaller. “He’s good. He’s comfortable.”
I glance toward my feet. “Maybe that’s supposed to be enough.” I exhale slowly. “It’s just… Calvin makes me feel everything all at once. And being fine suddenly feels so small.”
Cara leans back on the swing. “Okay. That sounded way too calm to not be catastrophic. Continue.”
“He texted last night and said he’d be here this morning… which was great. We were supposed to spend the day together. I was going to show him around town.” I shrug.
“Then came the follow-up.” I let out a humorless laugh. “‘Sorry, Jules. Emergency meeting. Unavoidable.’”
I stare at the dirt beneath my shoes. “So now he’s late. Again. On top of already being a day late.”
Cara doesn’t answer. She just watches me unravel.
I exhale hard, eyes on the sky. Too bright, too cloudless. The kind of day that leaves you nowhere to hide.
I draw a sharp breath. “You know what, though?” My voice tightens. “I won’t cheat on Evan. Not with my body. Not with my heart. Especially not with Calvin Stewart.”
The words scrape out dry. Taste like iron.
I glance at Cara. Of course she’s staring.
“Evan deserves better than that.” I gather myself. “We’re still together. So unless that changes… we’re still together.”
Cara blinks, then smirks. “Wow. Cryptic. Weirdly intense wording.”
I groan, burying my face in my hands. “No… It’s just… Calvin. He’s the problem. If love’s the equation, he’s the variable that keeps wrecking it.”
Cara cackles. “Only you, Jules, would turn love into math homework.”
“Because Calvin is…” I throw up my hands. “Impossible. Infuriating. Impulsive… ughhh.” I groan.
Cara goes serious, deadpan. “Tragic condition. Extremely common. Very contagious.”
“It’s frustrating, Cara. The bathroom incident? Water dripping, hot steam, towel slung too low? That careless smirk…”
I roll my eyes. “I swear he knew exactly what he was doing, and I can’t escape the pull.”
Heat floods my cheeks. “And I hate that my body reacted before my brain could even protest.”
Cara’s brows shoot up, delighted. “Hah! Oh, we’re going there.”
“I shouldn’t’ve snapped at him on the field. I was already unraveling. He flusters me just by existing.” I exhale, letting it all out. “And we shared this long pause when he was supposed to say something… just one real thing to prove he was still there. But he didn’t.”
My throat tightens. “He just stared. Like silence could fix what silence destroyed.”
I neutralize my face. “So I walked away.”
I drop my chin slightly and gaze up at Cara, disbelief and maybe mischief tightening my voice. “But part of me wanted him to grab me right there and just kiss me. Just to shut me up.”
Cara’s jaw drops, a slow smile curving her lips.
“Then I probably would’ve smacked him for trying.” The corner of my mouth twitches. “Or maybe I would’ve let him.”
Cara gasps, clutching her chest. “Jules Avery. You saucy minx.”
I laugh despite myself. “Meanwhile, Evan’s color wheel consists of grays… and I’m not talking fifty shades. More like seven shades of khaki.”
Cara’s laugh bursts into the air.
I glance sideways, softer now. “I’m sorry. I know I’m spiraling. I just don’t want to mistake nostalgia for fate.”
A beat.
“Or comfort for love. I need it real. Whatever it is.”
Cara rests her head against the swing’s chain, eyes on the horizon. “Then stop trying to solve it.”
The wind shifts. The swings creak between us, filling the quiet.
“Just feel it for a minute.”
A beat passes. Then another.
Guilt still twists in my chest. But beneath it, something warmer pulses quietly awake.
I nudge her sneaker with mine. “You okay over there?”
She exhales, half sigh, half scoff. “You know, I always thought if I followed my heart everything else would fall into place. Do what you love and love will find you, right?” She waves a hand over the town.
“I built my whole career on that. Weddings, romance, grand gestures. I practically inhale rose petals for a living.”
She smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I got into this business because I believed in the story. Now I’m the behind-the-scenes girl. The checklist queen. Everyone’s favorite plus-one who plans the magic but never gets the kiss.”
Her voice drops. “And don’t even get me started on dating apps. Half of them are holding up fish like it’s a love language. The rest are shirtless bathroom selfies with ‘here for a good time, not a long time.’”
I snort. “Yep. Swiping, posing, ghosting. That’s romance now.”
She grins like the world finally understands. “No one asks what makes you light up. Or what scares you. It’s noise. All surface, no depth.”
I nod, letting out a half-laugh, half-sigh. “Yeah. That’s why I’m clinging so hard to Evan. At least he’s consistent. Calvin, though? He’s chaos and charm with a silver tongue. And I don’t even know if I can trust him.”
Cara tilts her head, a sly smile creeping in. “Trust issues aside, Jules, chaos plus charm means you are basically rom-com material. Don’t blow the ending.”
“Rom-com? Please. My…” I start to object, but she’s already steamrolling.
“Evan’s nice. Really. But I haven’t seen you laugh with him. Not your laugh.” She shakes her head. “Loyal? Stable? Sure. Champion texter? Maybe, except when he’s canceling plans for the third time.”
I want to defend Evan, but the words fall away.
She’s right. The laugh she means, the one that feels like flying, I don’t think it registers with Evan.
Cara exhales, gaze drifting out over the field. “I like Evan. I’d never tell you what to do, and I accept him for you. But don’t confuse comfortable with enough. You deserve joy, Jules. Not just someone who shows up, but someone who sees you and makes you want to show up for yourself.”
Her eyes flick toward me. “You ever notice how bad you are at seeing your own worth? It’s like you’ve got selective blindness or something. You keep thinking you’re lucky to have whoever stays, but honestly, they’re the lucky ones.”
Her smile tilts, wry. “I spend my days making sure other people get their fairytales. I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. But then there’s the exceptional. Which do you want?”
I let out a slow breath, trying to ground the spin of my thoughts.
“Well, this morning, I thought I had it figured out. Evan was the plan. And now Calvin shows up and everything feels…” I press a hand to my temple. “Sideways.”
“Sideways? Jules, that man walks into a room and the gravity tilts. You’re not sideways. You’re orbiting.”
Words spill faster now, defending what I think needs defending.
“So what? Calvin storms back into my life like a walking plot twist and I’m supposed to throw everything away because he reminded me how he could tie my heart in knots and leave it there?
” I shake my head, breath sharp. “Maybe it’s not love.
Maybe I’m bored. Maybe it’s adrenaline. Maybe I’m having some early midlife crisis. ”
Cara’s voice stays calm, but her eyes are sharp. “He did not just ‘storm back in,’ Jules. Not really. This whole weekend… you think it’s coincidence? You here, him here, same B&B, one wall, one bathroom, Riot’s missing ring?”
Her brows lift, a smirk tugging. “And the fight on the field? Please. You practically kissed him with your eyes shut.”
“Cara!” I object. “You’re not supposed to use that against me.”
She shrugs, half grin, half warning. “I’m mostly teasing. But don’t fool yourself that this is all random because that’s more convenient. Don’t trade a real life for a neat excuse. Especially when Evan isn’t even around to remind you what steady feels like.”
I’m quiet for a long beat. My throat feels tight.
“I hear you. I do. But what if I choose wrong?” I whisper, more to myself than to her. “What if I trade a good life for a fantasy?”
For a second, the world compresses into my chest. I feel small and enormous all at once. “I need more than a weekend to figure this out. I can’t be that reckless. I don’t need that life lesson, Cara.”
She nods, resolved. “Take your time, Jules. You’re the one…” She glances at me, eyes glinting. “…putting off mornings with Cal.”
Her wink lands deeper than I want to admit.
Then, with a grin that doesn’t quite hide the wisdom beneath, she says, “But seriously, if tomorrow wasn’t promised, who would you want today?”
She arches her brows, the look that says you know exactly what I mean.
"Cara, OMG," I groan at the traitorous thought. “You might be the silver-tongued fox.” I laugh, real, reluctant. “How much is he paying you? Why are you always right?” I swat a hand at her.
She laughs, satisfied. A beat passes, the air softening. “Promise me this. When you find your epic love story, tell the universe I’m still waiting on mine.”
Our feet drag lines in the dirt like kids again. Heat shimmers off the field, the faint scent of grass and dust hanging in the air.
Neither of us talks for a while. The quiet says enough.
“I won’t chase Calvin,” I say finally. “And I won’t throw away what’s already good just for a spark. But I won’t keep living small, or silent, or safe either.”
I pause, wiping my sleeve across my face. “Maybe the real plot twist is being brave enough to ask for what we really want once we stop pretending everything’s fine.”
Cara gives my swing a small push, smiling. “Approved.”
The word lingers, soft but certain.
And for the first time all weekend, I just breathe.