Chapter 18 Ashton
ASHTON
The woods were thick with silence as I made my way through the dense trees, my boots crunching against the dry leaves beneath me.
The air was cold, but the weight in my chest burned hotter than any fire could reach.
There was a heaviness to the night that pressed down on me, the stillness unsettling, broken only by the occasional rustle of branches swaying in the wind.
I couldn’t let my mind wander. I couldn’t afford distractions—not while she was asleep, shackled to that bed, a prisoner of my making. But even knowing she was out of reach, even with the drugs coursing through her system, my thoughts kept drifting back to Dove.
And that goddamn circus.
The closer I got to it, the more I felt it—a pull, a dangerous tug in my gut that made everything else feel like a distant memory.
The flicker of those bright lights in the distance, the haunting echoes of a twisted melody carried on the wind.
They drew me in, as they always did. I had to make sure she wasn’t here.
I had to make sure nothing would pull me away from her again. Not after everything we’d been through.
Lilith would not be the one to tear me apart.
The circus tent appeared before me like some grotesque specter, its bright, garish colors at odds with the surrounding darkness.
The air smelled of smoke and sweet perfume—sickeningly sweet, like honey on a razor blade.
I hated how it made my pulse quicken. I hated how much I knew this place would haunt me.
And there she was. Lilith. She stood in front of the largest tent, her silhouette like a dark flame against the backdrop of the flickering lights.
She didn’t need to turn around to know I was here.
She never did. Lilith could always feel me coming, just like I could feel her, no matter how much I tried to pretend otherwise.
She didn’t acknowledge me immediately, but I could sense her watching me, her gaze like a knife in my back, sharp, unyielding. She was a part of my past I couldn’t shake, a part I tried to forget, but she always found a way to pull me back. And this time, I couldn’t let that happen.
“You’ve come,” she said softly, her voice a breath of dark smoke curling around me like a snake. “I was starting to wonder when you’d show up, Ash.”
I didn’t reply at first. I just stood there, taking in the sight of her, that pale, perfect face illuminated by the circus lights. Her eyes glittered, too bright, too knowing. I could see the amusement in them, but there was something else beneath it—something that made my blood turn cold.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” she said, taking a step closer, the sound of her boots against the dirt almost drowned by the music from inside the tent. “But I knew you couldn’t stay away forever.”
Her words hit me harder than they should have. I clenched my fists, nails biting into my palms. The last thing I needed right now was Lilith’s games. But that was the problem with her—she didn’t play fair. She never had.
“I’m not here for you,” I said, my voice low, a warning, but I knew she wouldn’t listen. Lilith never listened.
She tilted her head, the faintest smile tugging at her lips, but it wasn’t a smile. Not really. “Oh, but you are, Ash. You always are.”
I didn’t want to hear her words, didn’t want to get lost in whatever twisted thing she was trying to make of this. I had one purpose tonight, one thing on my mind: Dove.
But Lilith always knew how to peel away my armor, layer by layer, until I was raw and exposed.
“I need you to stay away, Lilith.”
“I thought you’d say that.” A smug smile appears on her face. “But I have no interest in your little pet project.”
“You forget I know you. This obsession needs to end.” I scream back at her.
She stalks towards me, mocking me. Her eyes trail across my face, but that smug smile doesn’t leave. “You see, that’s where you are wrong. My obsession with you died a long time ago.”
“Then why are you here?” She doesn’t answer me, so I grab her arm with force. “Why are you here?”
“The asylum.” She smirks.
“What is at that god damn asylum that fascinates you so much.”
Then it hits me—Bentley James—Lilith; it all made sense.
“Stay away from that bloody asylum.” I grit.
Still holding onto Lilith’s arm, a murmur ripples through the darkened woods, a subtle shift in the air that makes every hair on the back of my neck stand on end.
I feel them before I see them—the circus psychopaths, her loyal followers, blending into the shadows, their silent, twisted devotion radiating like poison in the surrounding air.
One by one, they emerge, stepping into the faint light cast by the flickering bulbs from the circus tent.
Their faces are painted in garish, unsettling designs, the thick makeup distorting their expressions into leering masks.
Some wear smiles stretched too wide, their teeth bared in unsettling grins, others hold expressions of eerie calm, eyes too dark, too empty, like hollow pits staring into the abyss.
The colors on their faces—vibrant reds, stark whites, and deep, inky blacks—morph into something monstrous in the half-light, turning their faces into ghastly parodies of human features.
One man in a top hat stares with a gaze that’s too intense, the whites of his eyes practically glowing under the rim.
He holds a cane in his hand, tapping it against his thigh with a rhythm that seems almost mocking, each tap resonating in the pit of my stomach.
Next to him stands a woman with ragged blonde hair and a tattered corset, holding a dagger loosely in her hand, spinning it around her fingers with practiced ease.
She watches me with a look that’s half amusement, half hunger, her lips twitching upward as though she’s waiting for the moment I’ll turn my back.
Behind them, a hulking figure lingers in the shadows, his massive form barely restrained by a tight leather harness crisscrossing his chest. His hands are wrapped in heavy metal rings, each finger sporting a deadly-looking spike that glints in the faint light.
He watches me with a strange, sickly fascination, his head tilted to the side as though studying an insect.
Lilith doesn’t pull away from my grip; instead, she laughs, the sound low and poisonous, filling the silence between us.
Her followers close in, forming a ring around us, their movements slow, calculated, like predators who know the kill is already theirs.
There’s a silence in their ranks, an unspoken understanding that every breath, every heartbeat, is in sync with her command.
Each one of them looks at me as if they’ve already carved up my flesh in their minds, already decided how they’d tear me apart if she gave the word.
This wasn’t the circus I remembered.
This was something else, something dark and menacing.
Lilith tilts her head back, savoring the twisted power she has over them, a puppet master reveling in her strings.
She doesn’t try to pull away from my grasp; in fact, she leans into it, her lips stretching into a smile that barely hides the malice underneath.
Her gaze flickers to me, eyes gleaming with dark amusement, as if daring me to try to drag her away from her kingdom of devils.
“Feeling outnumbered, Ash?” she whispers, her voice silky and dripping with venom. “These aren’t just circus freaks—they’re mine. Every single one would bleed for me. Kill for me. Die for me, if I asked.”
The circle of her followers tightens, and I feel the weight of their stares like needles pricking my skin.
The woman with the dagger tilts her head, her painted face twisting into a grin as she twirls the blade with a casual dexterity that speaks of violence simmering just beneath the surface.
Her gaze flicks between Lilith and me, waiting, anticipating the blood that she seems certain will be spilled.
One of the men inches closer, his mouth twisted in a sneer, and his eyes filled with something almost feral.
I keep my grip on Lilith, every muscle tensed, but I don’t break my focus, don’t show the apprehension simmering beneath my skin.
If I’m going to make it out of here, I’ll need to keep my wits sharp.
“Lilith, enough games,” I mutter, though I know it’s futile to reason with her. She lives for moments like this, for the thrill of holding someone’s life in her hands, of watching them squirm under the weight of her control.
She raises a finger and runs it slowly down my chest, eyes alight with that same sick amusement. “Oh, Ash, you don’t get to call the shots here. Not in my world.”
Another man steps forward, the giant with the spikes on his fists, his breath coming in slow, heavy exhales that remind me of a predator catching the scent of blood.
He lets out a low, animalistic growl, his eyes locked on me as if sizing up a meal.
His shoulders roll back, muscles flexing under the taut straps of his harness, and I can see that he’s itching for Lilith’s command, ready to unleash the violence simmering in him.
I glance around, assessing each figure. They’re not just henchmen—they’re addicts, every one of them hooked on Lilith’s darkness, feeding off her twisted charisma like she’s the very air they breathe.
There’s a loyalty here, yes, but it’s poisoned, warped, the kind born from shared trauma and obsession.
Lilith tilts her head, drawing her face close to mine, her voice dropping to a whisper only I can hear.
“You thought you could cage me once, Ash. Thought you’d outgrown me, moved on.
But you never really did, did you?” Her fingers trace the edge of my jaw, nails grazing my skin just enough to sting.
“You may be here for your little pet now, but I know you better than anyone. You’ll never really escape me. ”
She’s taunting me, testing every boundary I have. And she’s right about one thing—I’d be lying if I said some dark part of me wasn’t drawn to her chaos. But this isn’t her show anymore. Not this time.
Ignoring the circus freaks circling like vultures, I grip her wrist and pull her in close, letting her see that my patience is razor thin.
“If you lay one finger on Dove, if you even think about touching her,” I hiss, my voice like iron, “I’ll burn this entire circus to the ground. And I’ll start with you.”
Lilith’s eyes widen for a fraction of a second—a flicker of surprise, perhaps even intrigue. But it vanishes just as quickly, replaced by a smile that twists into something dark, something sinister. She takes a step back, holding her arms out to her loyal pack, almost theatrically.
“Fine, Ash. Play your little game,” she says, her voice a dark lullaby.
She flicks her fingers, and the surrounding circle begins to break, her followers stepping back into the shadows with an eerie, synchronized obedience.
But I know her better than to think she’ll let me walk away without some twisted parting gift.
“Until next time, then,” she purrs, her gaze slipping back into something unreadable, something almost feral. “Give my regards to your little pet.”
And just like that, the darkness swallows her entourage one by one, the flickering lights and low laughter fading into the distance as they vanish back into the shadows, leaving nothing but the faint echo of their presence and the sickly sweet smell of circus greasepaint lingering in the air.
I stand there feeling the thick of the silence surrounding me, annoyed that I hadn’t found a resolution for the impending dangers that surrounded me.
She hadn’t mentioned Bentley James, only that her obsession with the asylum was growing, and that wasn’t the news I was hoping to hear.
That was the only thing keeping her here—that damn asylum and I still wasn’t sure what the fascination was that kept her here.
Trudging back through the woods, my head is filled with panic for my little bird. I knew I shouldn’t have taken her, but each day I had seen her, the intensity to have her had grown.
I needed her like I needed air to fucking breathe, but if keeping her put her in danger, I wasn’t sure I could do it.
God dammit, I just wanted her to fucking love me. I wanted her to choose to stay because she wanted to stay and I wasn’t sure if I’d broken through her walls and climbed into her pure, innocent little heart.
I was running out of time.
The walls were closing in. Lilith was an inconvenience, but Bentley James was a threat I needed to get rid of and I couldn’t have Dove around when that happened. Maybe it would be best if I did just let her go—for now.
I’d come back for her. I could never fully let her go, not now, but maybe I needed to let go while I fixed the world around her.
My body feels heavy as I get closer to the house. It feels like the darkness has wrapped its talons around my body and it won’t let go.
I needed to say goodbye to my little bird, let her fly and if she didn’t come back, I’d find her and show her that what I feel for her is real, that what we had built here it was all real.
I would never go back on my word. I did want to keep her. She was mine, but I needed to burn the world around her to keep her safe.
She was all that mattered.
My sweet little dove.