Chapter 54
HANNAH
Seven in the morning comes quicker these days, forcing Noah and me to break apart, withstanding the icy air to work on his mental block.
He tries different tricks, hoping it’ll break the cycle of his thoughts. I want to question more about his past, desperate to know what runs through his head, but after the last time, I’m afraid to try again.
And that’s where the line in the snow continues to stay, even if it blurs with time. We’re not, nor will ever be, at that point of trust.
I haven’t even told him about my PCOS, so he has a right to protect his peace, too.
But I lie and say it doesn’t mess with me.
Noah’s attempts to twist, spin, or flip are all caught mid-air, distorting his reality and landing him hard on his ass in the snow. At one point, his board gets stuck on the lip of the halfpipe, and he hangs over. We have to ask maintenance to come help us remove him from his bindings.
Luckily, we get him out, and we lie flat on our backs in the center of the course, laughing.
“Maybe you should take my place,” he suggests.
“I haven’t snowboarded competitively since high school, and to do it in front of a crowd with other Olympians makes me want to hurl. So, no thanks.” I take some snow and chuck it at his face.
He wipes away the excess and flicks it back. “I’m gonna be washed up, hosting game shows.”
“You’re only twenty-six.”
He catches my comment. “Oh? I don’t remember telling you my age.”
“You know, the Internet is quite handy these days, especially when you look up a popular figure.”
“Twenty-one questions?” His eyebrows quirk up, a goofy grin to match his playful tone.
I’ve been given a second chance to understand the workings of his mind. “Sure.”
He reaches over and tugs at my braid. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-four.” But he smiles like he already knows. “Oh, so you did your own digging?”
He winks. “Maybe.”
“Fine. Color?”
“Red.”
I roll my eyes. “Be serious.”
“I am. It’s one of my favorites.”
“If you’re not going to play fair…”
“All right, all right.” He holds up his hands, laughing the whole time.
I raise an eyebrow. “Well?”
“I wasn’t kidding, it is by far my favorite color.”
My eyes narrow, and I gesture for him to go next. Knowing damn well he’s fucking with me.
“You? I bet I can guess.” He rolls on his side, using his elbow for leverage.
“Yeah? Go for it.”
“Yellow.” He’s so confident in his answer, I can’t help but laugh.
“Was I right?” He’s poking my cheeks, making me laugh harder
When I finally catch my breath, resulting in a cramped stomach from all the laughing, I respond. “Not even close.”
He pouts. “Tell me.”
“Brown.”
The look on his face is priceless. “Brown?!”
“It’s warm. It makes me feel cozy and safe.”
“My god, woman, you are different.”
I roll closer, lips a hair’s breadth away, shared air mixing together. “Yeah, recently, it has become a color I enjoy.” Not that it’s the color of his eyes or anything. How goddamn pathetic am I?
It’s just sex, Hannah.
Just. Sex.
I roll away, reminding myself we have to get back to business, no matter how much I enjoy his company and this fun side of him.
We have a resort to save.
“Let’s go, we’ve fooled around long enough,” I chastise.
He grabs my waist and rolls me closer. “We didn’t answer twenty-one questions yet. It’s my turn.”
I roll my eyes. “Fine, hurry up.”
He boops my nose with his finger. “Favorite place to travel?”
“In or outside the US?”
“Out.”
“Never been.”
His eyes widen, his mouth drops in shock. “Red, are you serious? What have you been doing? Hiding in a cave?”
“Not everyone can afford the luxury to travel, Hart.” But I know where my first stop will be if I have the chance.
“And if you had to choose? Cause I bet it’s some place with a sunny coast and vibrant people, where it’s summer, and you’re in a floral dress, taking my breath away with your sun-kissed skin.” It’s like he can read my mind, his mouth coming closer to my own, his hot breath fanning my face.
“Italy,” I whisper back. If I don’t get up now, I’m going to do something wildly inappropriate on the halfpipe. My body is sweating through all three layers of my snow gear.
I swallow, suddenly very aware of how close his body is to mine and what a little bit of friction can do if you move just right the way. “We must get back to practicing.” Rolling away, I get up, only for Noah to get on his feet, pulling me into his arms by the waist.
I panic, scanning the area for early risers. “Noah, what are you doing?”
“Maybe I just want to hold you for a little bit. Maybe it’ll help my fucked up brain.” He nuzzles his nose in my hair, inhaling deeply like he’s committing it to memory once all of this is over.
The tickle of his touch makes me squeal when he lifts me up in the air.
“Fucking the help, Hart?”
Liam’s voice hits me like a freight train, knocking the wind out of my lungs.
I’m put down. Noah is already getting in his face. “This is a private lesson. Leave.”
“Doesn’t look so private, does it? What would the guests think? Or the press? That their favorite Olympian gave up saving a shit resort for some worn-out pussy?” His words are like a viper’s whip, harsh, stinging the skin, leaving its mark, red and raised, blood seeping from the wound.
Noah swings without thought, hitting Liam right in the nose. I can hear yelling from below, sounding like Henry, trying to race up the path in time to stop whatever is about to go down.
Liam gets up and throws his own punches, grazing Noah’s cheek, but Noah’s quicker and tackles him to the ground.
“Noah, stop! Please!” Because if this gets out, it’s all over, and I am damned if I’m the cause. “Noah! I said Stop!”
Blood stains the snow. I’m not sure if Noah’s now added to the mix because they’re both rolling around, the sound of fists pounding makes me want to scream.
“NOAH, STOP!” Henry is sliding through the snow, followed by all the men from the team, coming in to break up the fight.
I’m backing away, clutching my chest, trying to breathe while I watch Taylor and Mark pull them apart, Cody keeping them separated.
“What the fuck,” snaps Henry.
Anthony is already halfway up the pipe when he says, “At a family resort? What the fuck were you two thinking?” I’d never heard Maya’s dad swear, never seen him this puffy-faced and angry in all my years I’ve known him. This is a whole new level of rage. I don't want to be in the crossfire.
Liam shrugs out of Cody’s hold and spits in the snow, wiping the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. “Ask pretty boy here. I’m just a paying guest.”
Noah keeps quiet, a bruise beginning to form on his right cheek.
“Well?” Anthony watches Noah, taking his silence as compliance.
“You may be a guest, but this is a private practice. You’re not allowed to be here,” states Henry, looking ready to knock the lights out of him next.
“There’s no sign stating otherwise? I thought this was a safe, family resort.” His upper lip curls, staring straight at me.
I want to reach for Noah out of instinct, an anchor to the ever-changing tides, swirling in a storm coming at high speed, before I’m swept under again. A current so perilous, I wonder if I will ever come back from it this time around.
Except, I can’t.
I can’t go to him. I can’t reach for that safety net, where it’s not mine to receive to begin with. I’ll float in the abyss, my fingers barely grazing the material to save me. Noah and I are simply nothing but a deal, no obligation toward one another.
He’s defending me because it’s the right thing to do, not because he wants to.
I hold Liam’s stare, trying to appear unaffected.
Anthony forces them to stay away from each other, calling maintenance to clean up the mess. Henry orders Cody, Mark, and Taylor to clean up Noah.
Noah lingers, wiping away the blood from his upper lip as his eyes take me in; some of it has dripped down his chin, even his neck is stained. His hand flexes and tries to take a step toward me, but his teammates are coaxing him to clean up.
He pushes them off. “I got it.” His voice is rough, like he’s physically in pain.
“Noah,” warns Mark.
Taylor takes one look at me and says, “For Hannah, Noah, please.”
Noah’s eyes soften, and he wipes his mouth one more time before I watch him make his way down the cluster of cabins with the guys.
Why does it hurt so much now?
But I know. I painfully know why. I have no guts to speak it into existence. Not now and most certainly not ever.
Anthony escorts Liam away, nursing his stupid face with the palm of his hand.
I haven’t realized I’m crying, hands holding my chest, gasping for air. Henry comes to me, holding me in a tight embrace, hushing my agony with each comforting caress to my back.
Astonished by his empathy, I let myself fold over, Henry keeping me afloat, when he’s not the person I want to keep me whole.
But I will take what help I can get for the time being.
Once I’m done, snorting back my disgusting boogers, Henry takes inventory of my well-being. “Hannah, I won’t ask you what happened, because I already know. I hope you understand that Noah’s reputation is important for his career, but not if it hurts you. Not if other outside sources affect you.”
I blink a few times. “It’s okay. I should know by now the level of his status—”
“It’s not okay. You’re putting your personal life in harm's way for someone who can’t get over his demons. All I can say is I’m sorry, and if you want to step back, I won’t blame you.” His words are sincere, and it’s nice to hear that someone else cares.
“Let me think about it.” I won’t. I can’t give up on Noah and Snowy Peak. Not now, not ever.
He nods, accepting my answer. “I was also looking for you specifically. We found the person who spread the rumor. Actually, Maya did.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, her tactics are…questionable, but she did it.” Henry half smiles, probably recalling his conversation with my best friend.
I brush myself off, collecting my snowboard. My tears have now dried, my eyes are definitely puffy, but it’s a therapeutic experience I never thought I would share with Noah’s publicist.
Better him than some stranger.
“She has her in a room,” comments Henry, casually strolling down the hillside.
“She what?!” I exclaim, now I’m running down the hill, Henry at my heels.
“She’s not handcuffed to a table, if that is what you’re thinking!” he shouts behind me.
“Doesn’t matter!” Maya is a Law and Order junky; if this is her chance to live out her fantasy, she’ll do it.
And most likely get the cops called on her in the end.
Now I have to save my best friend from jail time.
Awesome.