Chapter 64
HANNAH
Maya stays for a few extra days, most of the time we’re on the couch yapping away or completing one of the many puzzles from my collection.
Time is fleeting, and Maya tries to convince me to come back, but I need some time.
Christmas is in two days, and I’ve decided to spend it with my mom.
Thankfully, she respects my choice and doesn’t bring it up again, but I can tell she wants to press the issue further.
We’re sitting on my living room couch, the faded brown leather seats making it easier for me to pick at, making more of a mess, but also satisfying my anxiety.
Maya takes it upon herself to serve me some hot chocolate, and our mugs sit on dog coasters she got me a couple of years back.
She suggests we watch TV, surf countless channels, and end up on a Christmas baking show.
“Oh, sweet, they’re making Christmas cookies!” Maya exclaims, reaching for her hot chocolate.
I grab mine as well, blowing on it until it’s cool enough to take a sip. “I like it when they do the icing.”
“Same! It’s so satisfying to watch.” She takes a big sip, sighing in contentment. “Gosh, I really outdid myself with the hot chocolate.”
I follow suit, the warmth coating my throat, the sweet, decadent chocolate exploding on my tongue, bringing me back to early Christmas days with my parents, of colorful lights and tilted snowmen in our front yard. “This is definitely your best batch.”
She smiles big, scooting closer to me. I throw my blanket over us and settle in, my hands nice and toasty from my hot chocolate mug.
We watch a few episodes of them battling it out with their holiday cookies; some are incredible to watch as we rate our favorites and predict who will win.
Maya’s phone rings, she reaches for it, and Henry’s name flashes on her screen. She ignores it and tucks it on the side of the couch.
I cock an eyebrow. “You guys call each other?”
Her face turns a bright shade of red. “No, actually, this will be the first time.” Maya avoids my eyes by staring intensely at the TV.
Huh, interesting. “Are you going to answer him?”
“Now why would I do that?” She continues to avoid my stare, drinking the last of her hot chocolate. “It’s just him asking where you are, honestly.”
“Because of Noah?” My heart twists, picturing him sulking in his room. I never wanted to push him away; it’s just easier for me to deal with my issues and not rope someone else into all my problems.
He has enough on his plate…
I’m supposed to help him, help Maya and her family to get the two-time gold medal Olympian back on his feet to save my best friend’s family ski resort, and I’m letting them both down.
I’m a shit person and a friend. “Maya, I’m so sorry.” My eyes well with tears because I’m constantly disappointing someone.
“Whoa, no. This is not your fault.” She slams her mug down, removing mine, then takes my hands in hers, looking at me with determination. “My family’s resort and its financial issues are not your problem, okay? You’ve done all you can by just being here for us.”
Tears are now spilling down my cheeks, my bottom lip quivering. I’ve been strong for so long, and my exterior has started to crack from all the pressure, along with my feelings for Noah.
Because deep down, I’ve fallen for him, and I still can’t let him in. “I don’t like letting people I care about down, that’s all.” I’m doing it right now to avoid going back, like a coward.
Maya pulls me into a hug, rubbing my back. “You could never let us down, Hannah. Never.”
She lets me cry for however long I need, stroking my hair while I soak her purple sweater with my overflowing tears. It’s a relief to let it all out, with the comfort of your best friend.
When I finally calm down, Maya lets me lie on her lap while she plays with my hair. “Can I tell you something?”
“Sure,” I say, half asleep.
“All those dates I’ve been on…never led to anything. Not even a kiss, and not only that…” she pauses, taking a deep breath before she continues. “I’m still a virgin.”
Even half asleep, my eyes bugle, but I don’t dare move, knowing she’s trusting me, her best friend, with her secret.
When I don’t respond, she continues. “I denied every chance, every kiss, because I didn’t want to take a risk.”
“But losing your virginity is important to you,” I add, squeezing her knee.
“It’s because I don’t take risks, which is why I’ve barely done anything with a guy. It’s okay to kiss a few frogs, and I’ve denied every single one, and at this rate, I’ll probably end up alone.”
“Maya, you’re incredible, you won’t end up alone!”
“Agree to disagree.”
I adjust myself so I’m looking up at her, her eyes shining bright from the TV light. “Why are you saying this to me?
“Throw everything I said about Noah Hart out the window, Hannah, and take your risk.”