Chapter 68
HANNAH
Anxiety runs through my body at a hundred miles per hour, making my hands shake, my legs weak, and even my head. Watching Noah from down here is maddening, worse than when I was trying from the top.
He’s been doing incredibly well so far, and I’m still waiting for a mishap or his body to contort in mid-air, sending my heart into overdrive of worry.
Noah has one more move, and if he makes it, he’s back and able to perform on his own without my help.
I won’t lie and say it doesn’t break my heart, knowing he doesn’t need me anymore, but at least he’s back on track to win more gold medals if he chooses to do so.
Noah starts to get ready, riding down, when he shifts his board, heading toward the vert. Henry came down with me to the bottom barriers. Maya is on his left, leaning over, anticipating what he’ll end his run with.
Seconds tick on, but it feels like hours when Noah performs his final move, combining three and a half twists and then two more flips, all in one piece of air, landing perfectly, gliding right down to the finish line.
I don’t catch what happens next, news outlets swarm, and even Henry jumps the barrier, pushing through to get to Noah.
Noah managed to battle his twisties and perform an amazing run for Snowy Peak, getting the media attention we need to hopefully garner more revenue to save it.
Maya and I hug tight, jumping up and down like school girls, over the moon at the turnout.
Everyone is still chanting his name, and security comes in to wave the media back to give him some room.
“He’s good now. He did it,” I say, watching him take off his goggles. He doesn’t need me anymore. The realization has set in, and I’m already starting to back away.
Maya is too busy looking for whomever to notice my departure, and I turn to head back to the main building, fighting the current of the crowd coming at me.
When I’m further away, I take one final look back, smiling with tears in my eyes, knowing he’s basking in his success.
I’m almost to my cabin to gather my things when I hear heavy footsteps behind me.
“Red!” His voice echoes, halting my movement, but I don’t dare turn around. Noah comes into view, putting up his hands to keep me from moving forward. “Where are you going?”
I sigh, my heart sinking further into my stomach. “Home, Noah. It’s over. You got over your twisties and performed perfectly at the event.”
“So, that’s it? You’re not going to stay and celebrate?” His eyes dart back and forth from my mouth to my eyes. “You’re leaving?”
“Maya understands. Besides, it’s over now. You can go home.” And never see me again, but I can’t say it, the words won’t come out. I’m on the precipice of whether I confess my feelings or let them die right then and there.
“You’re my cloud nine, Red.”
All functions of my heart stop, making it difficult to catch my breath. “What did you just say?”
“You heard me.”
Of course, I hear him, I hear him loud and clear. “No, I’m not, I can’t be.”
Noah shakes his head. “Yes, you are.” He grabs my face, forcing me to look at him, his calloused thumbs graze my cheeks, right to my bottom lip. “Hannah.” It’s like he can’t continue, having a hard time breathing.
That makes two of us.
“Noah—”
“No, no. What you feel isn’t one-sided. It never was. God, Hannah, I was captivated by you the minute we met.”
I can’t form words, I can’t even process his declaration. I can only stare, a rush of uncertainty, not one hundred percent sure he’s telling the truth.
“Hannah, say something, please.” Brown eyes search my face, trying to reach inside and cure my fear of rejection.
“How can you want someone who might not be able to give you a future with kids?” I’m shaking now, my secret word-vomiting from my mouth.
“That day…when I waited for you at the doctors…” His eyes search my face, knowing he’s piecing everything together.
I make it easier and tell him the truth. “I have PCOS, Noah. It makes it difficult if I can’t get it under control.”
Noah is shaking his head. “No, Hannah. That doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
“But kids…” What the hell am I even thinking? Having any future with Noah Hart sounds so ridiculous, let alone having kids with this man.
“Why can’t you see how desperate I am to have you? You’re my brightest star when I watch the night sky.” Noah says.
“Do you love me?” It’s the only words I’m able to speak, but I need to hear him say it out loud, to know if it’s even a possibility; otherwise, I have to run as far away with my tattered heart once more.
“Yes. Yes, I love you. I’m so in love with you, Hannah—all of you.
Every part of you is my favorite. You’re all I think about and wonder how I can make that smart mouth snap back or smile.
” Warm, brown eyes search my face, his hands move to my waist, pulling me closer.
“Our deal we made, that was me trying to get close to you without actually admitting it to myself. Meeting you has flipped my entire world upside down, wanting nothing more than to wake up to you.” Noah rubs his nose against mine.
“I never want to go another day not knowing where you are or what you’re thinking.
Not talking to you for these last few days killed me, but I kept my distance because I hurt you, and I know I did.
It was never my intention, and for that I am so sorry. ”
My tears are falling now, and cupping Noah’s face, I make sure I’m all he sees. “I shouldn’t have reacted that way, and for that, I’m sorry.”
He shakes his hand. “No, Red, please don’t apologize for something I did wrong.”
“But it’s no excuse for me to react how I did, Noah.”
He shushes me with his hand. “I invaded your privacy by forcing Maya to tell me. I broke your trust, and it’s not fair to you.” He’s trembling now, waiting for me to forgive him.
Little does he know, I already have. “I forgive you, Noah, because I love you, too.”
“Really?” He sounds so small, so unsure of my declaration in return. It’s cute and heartbreaking. I never want him to feel that way again.
Tilting his face, I kiss him slowly, loving how his lips move against mine, how perfectly in sync it’s become between us. His tongue darts out, and I meet him halfway, deepening the kiss, not caring who's around us to see.
All that matters is here, right now, with Noah, and our love for each other.
I break us apart early, our foreheads touch, our labored breaths matching in tempo. “Yes, Noah. I really do.”
He sighs like a heavy weight has been lifted off his shoulders, then picks me up and spins me around. I’m laughing uncontrollably, yelling at him to put me down.
When he finally does, his mouth finds mine again, biting my lower lip.
I moan quietly, the sensation trailing down to my toes, wiggling inside my boots.
He lets go. His eyes smolder, half-closed. I know what he wants—because I want it too.
“Make love to me, Noah.”