Chapter 19 #2
“Yep. Lily has Grandma Annie’s old place, and we used to go there a lot.
After we moved to Billings, that was the house we partied in if we returned to Coal Haven.
When we moved to Billings, I never would’ve thought that this would stay in the family, or that one of us would be back in it, raising our own kids. ”
“Glad to be back?”
“Yeah. I am.” I wanted to experience this with Van.
Next year, would he be willing to go to whatever brother or sister of mine hosted?
Would he get on his own and realize Coal Haven wasn’t the place to be?
That I was surrounded by family, and he was free to find somewhere else to live? “Thank you for coming.”
“I’m getting used to Duke family gatherings.”
I recalled each time—kickball, pumpkin harvest, and Halloween. “After only three?”
“Technically four if we count the wedding, but they made that much of an impression.” He wasn’t kidding. He tipped his head to the tote bag. “And I get to have cookie salad.”
“I left a container of it at home.”
“Breakfast tomorrow?”
“Naturally.” I chuckled. I’d have to keep him supplied with cookie salad. It’d be an excuse to see him if he didn’t join in on the fun.
He carried the food and hovered next to me as we picked our way across the drive until we reached the path to the house.
Auggie flung open the front door. “Aunt Clover!”
“Happy Thanksgiving,” I called.
“You get to see Dad’s cabinets.” He darted away from the door.
“That kid needs to go into marketing,” I said. “I’ve seen those cabinets countless times, yet he makes me excited to see them again.”
“Jensen installed them?”
“How’d you know?” I asked lightly.
We shared a grin.
“Hey.” Jasper held his arms up like he was cheering for us. “I’m gonna fight you for a place to sit.”
“You get the kiddie table,” I said, shrugging out of my coat.
“When’d you get so pregnant?” Jasper took the tote from Van.
I smoothed a hand over one of the maternity tops I’d bought with Violet and had combined with a pair of insulated leggings that I’d bought a few years ago that were too big and couldn’t return.
My maternity pants were waiting in the wings.
They weren’t packed yet. “It’s the shirt. It poofs out and makes me look bigger.”
“What if you’re having twins?” Jasper asked.
I rolled my eyes. “I already showed you the image of Bean. There was just one. Besides, twins don’t run in our family.”
He jutted his chin toward Van. “What about him?”
Van thought for a moment. “Not that I know of.”
The oddness of this moment sank in. I was abandoned by my baby’s daddy, but Van was here to answer for him. Story of our relationship.
“Do you watch football?” Jasper asked him.
“At the risk of being stereotypical,” I said to Van, “the guys watch football and us girls hang in the kitchen and start baking Christmas cookies.”
Van’s lips quirked. “Hmm, work or sit around?”
“Don’t let her fool you. We have to clean up,” Jasper explained. “After dinner, after second dinner, and after the baking.”
Van pretended to wince. “Oof, I have a shortbread recipe I’ve been meaning to try, but I’ll let Clover have girl time.”
Laughing, Jasper led us to the kitchen. Alder had cleaned out the garage and set up tables. People were going back and forth through the dining room out to the garage with food and supplies.
“You made it,” Lily said. She gasped when she saw me in the maternity clothes. “Look at you. So cute and pregnant.”
“I’m barely four months.”
She propped a hand on her hip. “When’s the next ultrasound?”
“I made the appointment for right after New Year’s.”
“You did?” Van asked, his brows drawn together.
I swallowed, my throat thick. This had been put off too long.
I squared my shoulders and faced Van. “Sorry, all the appointments were made last month, and I didn’t think…
” But I had. I’d thought a lot about telling him when all the appointments were.
“You told me your travel schedule, and I didn’t want you to feel torn. ”
Lily lifted her brows. Glancing between us, she forced a smile. “I need to grab the veggie tray. Jasper already brought the cookie salad out.” She darted around us.
“I could’ve been here.” A troubled line bisected his brow. “Is someone going with you?”
“No, other than an ultrasound, it’s a normal appointment. I’ve already seen Bean, and I’m not finding out the gender, so I thought it wasn’t a big deal.” Each appointment was a big deal to me, but I couldn’t have him changing his trip. What if he felt manipulated?
Disappointment clouded his expression. “You should have someone with you.”
“If I feel like I need someone, I can call a sister or Alder. Maybe Jasper. He doesn’t have kids, so he hasn’t sat in on any yet.”
A muscle in Van’s jaw clenched. “As long as you’re not alone.”
I would get used to it. “I won’t be.”
Dad came through the door. “Van.” He gave Van a hearty shoulder whack. “How’s it going? Ready for the divorce?”
The corners of Dad’s eyes crinkled like he was joking, but his gaze held more than humor.
“Divorce in the morning, then I’ll take Clover to brunch and help her move.”
Dad patted his shoulder again. “You’re a good man. In case I don’t have a chance to talk to you before then, thanks for taking care of her.”
“I can’t take the credit,” Van said easily and aimed a smile my way. “She’s taken care of me just as much as I’ve done with her.”
Was he talking about cooking and cleaning and checking in with each other? Or sex? Because yes, to all of it. “I’ll miss taking turns cooking.”
There was so much more added to the list. I was going to miss a movie partner. I might’ve gotten a sour stomach from the popcorn and brownies, but I’d still love to experience it again. And there were the other things. Orgasms.
Would we be able to mess around after?
No. Bad idea. We’d both be doing each other a disservice if we continued having sex while we lived separately and planned our lives apart. Only he was staying in Coal Haven. That decision wasn’t for me. It was for Bean.
That was our connection after the divorce. Bean. Nothing more.