Chapter 66
LUCY
Late on Friday afternoon, I called my father.
It had been exactly a week since I first told my mother I was considering divorcing Eddie.
We’d talked several times since, but they were all brief, non-invasive discussions.
She knew I had a lot on my plate. My looming first-ever trial, and obviously, the whole Eddie situation.
My father had kept his space, maybe thinking this was more of a mother/daughter situation.
But I wanted to talk to my father. Plus, things had changed. Eddie and I had gotten into a nasty argument the night before.
“Hey, Lucy.”
“Hi, Dad.”
“You’re not secretly on your way up to Tahoe, are you?”
“Wish I was, Dad. Are you there yet?”
“We just arrived about a half hour ago.”
“I have FOMO, but I’m just too busy with this new trial starting on Monday.”
“I have no idea what FOMO is, but I understand staying home, honey. Of course, you could have studied while sitting out on the dock and gazing onto the lake.”
“I don’t think my fellow attorneys from the firm would have appreciated that.”
My father laughed. “I’m only kidding. I’m sure you’ll get more work done down there.
And I just wanted to say how proud I am of you, Lucy.
You’ve been a lawyer for all of six months, and you’re already co-chairing a trial.
Some lawyers never try a case before a jury in their entire career. You should be very proud of yourself.”
“Thanks, Dad. But I’m the third chair, and I won’t be the one speaking in front of the jury.”
I felt like I’d had to explain the third chair thing to everyone. Except for my husband, who didn’t seem all that interested.
“Oh, that’s just semantics, Luce.”
I laughed. “What are you and Mom doing today?”
“We’re going to have dinner at Harrah’s tonight. Might do a little gambling first.”
“You mean, you’ll do some gambling, and Mom will pretend she’s interested.”
My father laughed quite loudly. “Yes, that’s probably more accurate.”
“And then, let me guess, you’ll go for your little walk tomorrow morning at 7:30?”
“Haven’t missed that walk in twenty years. Tomorrow isn’t going to be any different.”
“Ahhh, I love you guys so much.”
“You sound a little down, honey. Is everything okay?”
“I’m sure you heard about me and Mom’s talk?”
“Of course. I’ve been trying to give you your distance.”
“That’s what I figured.”
There was a pause, and my father seized on it. “Wait, are you planning on divorcing him?”
“I’m leaning towards it, Dad.”
I heard my father holding back tears on the other end. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d seen—or heard—him cry.
“Are you okay, Dad?”
“I’m okay. I’m just happy for you. I know how tough a decision this is, but I think after it’s over, you’ll be much happier.”
“That’s my hope.”
“When is this going to happen?”
“Probably tomorrow or Sunday. I want to start with a clean slate before the trial begins on Monday.”
I’d been going back and forth on this for several days, and I’d been leaning toward doing it this weekend, but I’d never really confirmed it until right then on the phone with my father.
“Wow. Your mother thought this was a few weeks off. Do you really need to get it done so quickly?”
“I thought you were on my side.”
“I am, honey. I just didn’t expect it to be while we were gone.”
“I understand, but I didn’t want it hanging over me heading into the biggest work week of my life.”
“It’s not like you’ve had that many work weeks in your life,” my father said sarcastically.
“Dad!”
“I’m just playing around. You know I do that when I’m slightly nervous.”
“What do you have to be nervous about? It’s me who is doing the divorcing.”
“You’re my baby girl. My firstborn child. Of course I’m going to be nervous.”
“Would you rather I wait until you get back from Tahoe?”
“Honestly, yes.”
While I didn’t think Eddie would be violent, there was a small part of me that wished my father could be in a neighboring room when I did the deed. I just hadn’t wanted to ask him that, but now that the offer was there.
“Yeah, I think I’d like that, Dad.”
“How about Sunday night? We’ll be getting on the road by around ten a.m. Be home by six or so, depending on whether we stop for lunch. I could come over by seven. That’s if you really want to get this done before the trial starts on Monday.”
“I think I do.”
More than anything, I just wanted this to be over with.
What had pushed me toward divorcing Eddie this weekend was that I just couldn’t imagine having to spend the next week or two in the same house.
My mental health would suffer, and so would my work right along with it.
And I currently consider that more important than my failing marriage.
“How about this?” my father interjected.
“I’ll come over Sunday night. I’ll be in the other room.
And then when it’s over, you can come spend the week at my and your mother’s house.
That way, you’re not kicking Eddie to the curb.
That might go over a little better than just telling him you want him out of the house. ”
It was a good point.
“Are you there, Lucy?”
“Yeah, I’m here. I’m just so indecisive right now. Maybe I should just tell him myself, without you being here. Isn’t that what most people do?”
“I couldn’t tell you. I’ve only been married to your mother.”
“That doesn’t help, Dad.”
“I’m sorry, Lucy. This is tough. What do you want?”
“I can’t decide,” I said and took a few seconds to think. “Sorry, I keep waffling, but maybe I should just tell him without you there. I think he deserves that.”
“Okay, but why not do it in public? Just in case he doesn’t take it well.”
“I can’t divorce him in front of other people. How humiliating would that be?”
“It doesn’t have to be in front of a bunch of other people.”
“You said in public.”
“I just mean not in your house alone, where it’s just you two. How about you ask him to go for a walk? At least then, other people will be in the vicinity.”
“You’re making it out like he’s a violent person. He’s not.”
Although he had made me quite uneasy during our recent argument.
“If he’s not violent, then why do you need me there?”
I had no good response for that. Did I think Eddie could be violent? I’d just said no, and I certainly would have said no a month ago, but things had changed recently, and now I could no longer say that with certainty.
“I kind of like the idea of going for a walk. He is less likely to explode.”
“Lucy, if you really think there’s any chance he’s going to explode, then I absolutely will be there. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.”
I had a great father who loved me dearly.
“Okay, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to ask him to go for a walk around six on Sunday.
On the walk, I’ll tell him that I’m going to be filing for divorce.
I’ll also tell him that he can live in the house until we decide what to do, and that I’ll be staying at your and Mom’s house for the time being.
If you want, you can hang out nearby. But I’d prefer that to you being in the next room and doing it at home. ”
“Okay, Lucy. I respect that. Just one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Have your car packed. I don’t want you going back into the house alone with Eddie.”
“Eddie isn’t violent, Dad.”
“You keep saying that. Who are you trying to convince?”
“Eddie has never been violent.”
“Everybody has never been violent until that first time when they are. And you never know how a man is going to react to devastating news.”
I hated this. Every single part of it. “Okay,” I said sheepishly.
“I’ll call you when we’re driving back on Sunday. Promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“You won’t do anything before we get back.”
“I promise. I’ll wait till Sunday.”
“Okay, good. You’re going to get through this, Luce.”
“Thank you, Dad. I love you.”
“Love you, too, honey. You have nothing to worry about. I’ll see you Sunday.”
“Tell Mom how much I love her, too.”
“I will.”
It was all too much, and I started crying when I hung up.
I loved my parents so much.
I couldn’t imagine my life without them.