Sixteen
OREN
After we finish at my father’s house, we head to Shelton’s to pick up what he’s kept safe for me over the years.
Adak takes the box from him and Shelton hugs me tightly. “You’re okay? Really?”
I sigh. “Yes. I really am now.”
“Good. I’ve been worried sick. I hope you feel comfortable coming back to the shop one day.”
“Me too. But you understand why I can’t right now, right?”
“Oh, definitely. I don’t want you there until your father and brothers are completely taken care of.”
With my box in hand, Adak and I head to the East End Police Department and I spend a long time telling Jack a little more about how I’ve been living until a few days ago. It’s still so… surprising to me it was only three days ago that I climbed out of that bedroom.
And in those three days, my father had truly made it into a prison cell. It makes my gut churn.
“Are you worried for anyone else under your father’s care?” Jack asks. There’s another man he introduces as Captain Morris. We’ve already spent a whole lot of time on the incident that took place five years ago when my father and half a dozen police officers forced me home.
I shake my head, but then pause. “I have a younger brother. Haze. In my presence, they always focus on me, but I don’t know if it’s different when I’m not there. He’s withdrawn a lot in the last six or seven years.”
Jack nods, his gaze meeting Morris’s.
“Do you feel safe now, Oren?”
I don’t answer the question right away. My hand grips the ball tightly because I can’t explain why I still feel like my father is standing over me.
“I don’t think for a moment that he’s given up,” I say.
“He’s controlled me my entire life and I don’t believe he’s going to just let me go this easily. ”
Jack nods again. “We’ll be keeping an eye on him as we investigate his background and everyone he has regular interaction with within the precinct.”
When we leave, I feel drained. Like someone has sucked my life force out of me and all I want to do is sleep. We spend the rest of the day at home, lounging around, not talking about what went down.
The next day, Adak has practice. I sit at the built-in desk in the wide hall upstairs, overlooking the great room below with my laptop open. Second World is up and I’m logged in, not as mod, but just as a player.
With my headset on, I’m having the first verbal conversation in years with Albie and Huntley as we play. I feel so light. Free in a way I never have before.
Not untouchable. I meant what I told Jack. My father isn’t done yet. He’ll keep trying to find a way to force me home.
But even so, for the first time in my life, I’m not afraid to do something as simple as talk to my friends.
“Oh hell, I didn’t tell you what Matilda did!” Albie says. “So, we’re sitting at dinner the other night and Matilda’s telling us about this guy she just saw. Not even met but saw . She says, ‘he’s the one; I’m going to have his baby.’ Their mom practically choked on her soup!”
Huntley and I laugh.
“Who is this guy?” Huntley asks.
“Oh, yes. It gets better. So, Matilda goes on to say that she’s sure he was just released from prison.
Mom’s trying desperately not to lose her shit, mind you.
And after the explosion with Henrik about me, she’s been trying very hard to be more open.
So, Mom says, ‘I’m happy to hear you’ve met your future husband.
When do we get to meet him?’ Fucking Matilda!
She answers, ‘Oh, no, Mother. You misunderstood. I’m only having his baby. I don’t even want to know his name!’”
Huntley is dying with cackles.
“The Queen mum basically lost her mind. Meanwhile, Henrik is sitting back in his chair with a shit-eating grin while Matilda is doing a damn fine job at pretending she’s completely flabbergasted about why her mother is upset.”
“The life you lead,” I say, shaking my head.
“Is she really going to do that?” Huntley asks.
“Oh, I have no idea. With Matilda, I give it a fifty/fifty odds.”
Huntley sighs. “I wish I could do that.”
I’m perplexed. Seems Albie is too, because he asks, “What do you mean?”
“I mean that there’s literally no way to share genetics with a child and your gay partner,” Huntley says. “It’s always going to be an either/or; never and.”
I’m not sure what to answer, so I don’t.
“I mean, I enjoy trying to get pregnant,” Albie says, teasing in his voice.
“You really never think about that?” Huntley asks.
“I guess it’s never crossed my mind. It’s not my genetics that matter, anyway. It’s Henrik’s.”
“But that’s the point.”
“It would still be my baby too,” Albie says.
“Yes, yes. I know. But I mean biology, Albie. Does it truly not bother you that you’ll never share the genetic makeup of a child you share with your husband?” Huntley asks.
Albie doesn’t respond right away. “I don’t know. I really never thought about it. So, I mean… yeah, I really don’t have an opinion on it right now.”
Huntley sighs. “Oren?”
“Believe me, the genetic makeup of kids I’ll never have has never crossed my mind,” I say.
“Yeah, sorry,” Huntley says.
I haven’t been allowed to think about things like that.
Well, ‘allowed’ isn’t quite the right word.
But living a life of oppression, anything concerning a relationship and a future was just…
unimportant when I had everyday survival to think about.
How to move through the next day as peacefully and emotionally whole as I could.
“Everything going okay now?” Albie asks.
“Yeah.”
“You like living with Adak?” Huntley asks.
“I—” Oh, fuck. I didn’t realize I practically just moved in with him! There wasn’t a conversation or… Jesus, I didn’t even ask!!
“Oren?”
“Sorry. Yes, I love it here. The home is beautiful. Adak’s…. sweet and kind.”
“And sexy,” Albie says. “I looked him up.”
I grin. “Yeah. That too.”
“That means you’re trying to get pregnant any chance you get, huh?” Albie teases.
Even though they can’t see me, my cheeks flush. “No.”
“What?” Huntley asks. “Why the fuck not?”
“We haven’t… done that. I know a lot has happened, but I’ve only been seeing him for three weeks.
For most of that time, I’ve been sneaking around just to see him.
And then there’s hockey and this blow up with me running away and the missing person thing and then the police to talk to. ” I shake my head.
A lot has happened in three weeks. I honestly haven’t thought much about anything since being here other than how grateful I am for Adak. How he treats me. Yes, Adak is hot. I’ve always thought so since that moment I saw him on the magazine cover. And yeah, I guess maybe… I’m a little horny.
But honestly, sex hasn’t been something that’s been very important in my life. The only thing I ever truly wanted was to get away. Sex just seemed… superficial and unimportant in the big picture of my life.
“Sorry, Oren,” Huntley says. “You’re right. Crazy that it’s only been three weeks, though.”
I nod. “No, that’s fine.”
We’re quiet as we focus on our game for a bit. Albie is a level nine hermit. He’s been trying for years to unlock the demon mode in the game. There’s a stupid long list of items to hunt down. He’s currently looking for demon scales. He needs 185 and has 112.
Huntley is a level eleven merman. His character walks funny because he’s on land and is wearing special pants that allow him to have legs.
We’re on a quest to make an infinity backpack, which is just what it sounds like.
When you begin each login, you get to add things to your bag, but there’s a limit to what you can carry.
The infinity backpack means you can literally take everything with you.
And it’s a lock item, so if you die, you don’t lose your shit.
I’m not working on anything specific right now. I’m a level eight wolf shifter. About a month ago, I finished a quest where I unlocked the charm that turns my wolf into a silvery vision when shifted. It’s pretty sick.
“So… you’re doing good?” Huntley asks.
My friends have spent years asking me a variation of the same question.
My answer has always been a reflexive ‘yes.’ Anything else led to questions, and I was never in a position or confident enough to tell anyone anything.
I feel different now.
“I am. It’s almost overwhelming, you know? I can wear what I want and be gay and openly work modding the programs I do. I can poke at my bubble ball and read whatever genre I choose. Even being able to eat whatever I want and if I don’t like it, I don’t have to eat it. It’s… new… and a lot.”
“It’s… scary,” Albie says. “I had no idea what you were going through, and I talked to you all the time. I mean, I knew a little, but I didn’t know how… you lived.”
I nod. “I didn’t want you to know,” I say.
“Partly because when someone knows, it becomes their burden, which wasn’t fair.
No one should have had to live that with me.
But more than anything, I just didn’t think anyone would believe me.
I kept thinking that maybe they were right.
That I was just over sensitive. Or I took things too personally.
I didn’t have the same sense of humor as they did.
Looking back, it’s still easy to feel that way, even knowing that’s not true.
That sense of being completely alone was too big. ”
Especially when the police helped my father force me home again after I told them I didn’t want to go back.
How powerless and hopeless I felt after that was almost suffocating.
“I’m so sorry,” Huntley says. “I didn’t know what to do. Mom and Dad didn’t know what to do. Who were we going to call and report them to when it was literally the police dragging you away?!”
“I know. That day really solidified my father’s hold on me. That’s why I never ran again. There was nowhere I could go where he couldn’t find me and force me back.”
“But now there is,” Albie says.
I take a deep, cleansing breath. “Now there is. Now there are a lot of people who believe me. I have a lot of support.”
“Just so you know, I always believed you, Oren,” Huntley says.
“Same,” Albie says.
I smile. “I know.”
My phone rings. I slide it closer, thinking that maybe I’ll see Adak’s name, but it’s Shelton. “Hold on,” I tell Huntley and Albie. “Shel’s calling.” I put them on mute and pull my headset off while I answer.
“Have you been online?” Shelton asks.
My gut twists again. “No. Why?”
“Your father—he’s… shit, man. You need to see it.”
Since I have my computer open, I pull up the internet browser and my Spectrum account. I don’t need to scroll yet again to find what Shelton’s talking about. My heart literally stops as I read the words.
The SCORE magazine cover with Adak on it is staring at me. In big, bold red letters across it is the word GAY and under it, still in red, reads ‘coach teaching our children to be gay.’
“Oh my god,” I murmur. I just stare at the image for a long time, unable to turn away.
“Read it,” Shelton says, as if he knows I haven’t. “It gets worse.”
Jessup Prosser How far are we willing to go to let the gays have space in our world?
How much damage do we have to allow to happen before we do something about it?
This man is a professional hockey coach, with access to two dozen young men who get naked and change in a locker room he has full access to.
What’s worse is he has the rest of the Anaheim Bobcats franchise to do his bidding, coercing security guards to take young men from the stands and grooming them to be gay.
My son is one of his victims, currently being held under his seduction. I’ve lost my son to Adak Nemaczekk’s most vile ways. Please help me stop his predation and bring my son home. Demand justice be brought to this man.
It’s difficult to read. I have to read several sentences over and over again, trying to process the bullshit he’s saying.
“You there?” Shelton asks.
“I can’t believe he did this,” I say.
The thing is, I knew he wasn’t done. I knew he’d keep coming after me. But that’s the thing, right? I thought he’d come after me! Not Adak.
“I’m going to be sick.”
“Take a breath. I just wanted you to know what’s going on.”
Tears sting my eyes. Furious, frustrated, sick tears. Once again, I feel helpless. I don’t know how to stop him. I don’t know how to make him go away!
What will Adak say when he sees it?