Chapter 27
Cobra
“The knife was probably overkill,” I remarked, letting myself into my room after raiding the kitchen for whatever was leftover after the Knights had already cleaned it out.
For obvious reasons, Sweetie hadn’t had anything waiting for us, so I’d put together a shit mezze of crackers, cheese, pastrami, and chilli jam because Lynn loved that spicy stuff.
On the way back, I took a detour to her room to pick up some extra clothes and found a knife stuck in her door. Then of course when I got back she’d already changed into one of my old shirts, her bare legs tucked against her chest.
She shrugged.
“Didn’t want anyone bothering you?” I guessed, frowning when I had nowhere to put the fucking food. I couldn’t believe I was contemplating buying an end table. Who was I? “Good call; I would have broken their fucking nose.”
She smirked weakly. I locked down my expression, even if I wanted to weep with relief. So my woman was in there, she was just struggling to speak.
“Thief,” I quipped, pinching my shirt hanging off her shoulders once I’d settled both the food board and myself on the bed. “Here, eat something.”
A furrow cut between her dark brows. What the fuck is this, I imagined her snarling.
“I believe grown-ups call it a charcuterie board.” I sat close enough to feel her heat without touching her. God, I wanted to touch her. I wanted her in my arms for eternity. I was so goddamn serious about never letting her out of my sight. “But for you, madam, this is a Lunchable.”
She slid her gaze in my direction, held eye contact for the longest three seconds of my life, then shuffled closer, resting her head on my shoulder. All the breath left my lungs.
“Fuck knows why you like these things,” I muttered, grabbing a cracker only once she’d built herself a stack and eaten it. “Crackers are dry and dusty as fuck.”
She jabbed my ribs with a finger, and the careful lid I’d kept on my emotions blew off like my heart was packed with explosives and her touch was the trigger. At first it was one sob, and then two, and then I was out of control, my eyes burning, spilling tears, everything I’d held back pouring out.
Lynn scrambled closer, throwing her arms around my shoulders, clutching my head to her chest. Fingers stroked over my scalp. A hysterical laugh-sob tore free when her crunching filled my ears.
“Better not get—fucking crumbs in my hair,” I grumbled through the jagged noises pouring through the crack in my chest.
Her fingernails scraped over my head as if to say, what fucking hair?
“I’m growing it,” I rasped.
I pictured Lynn rolling her eyes, but kept my head ducked against her chest, letting her touch anchor me as I struggled to control my breathing.
Another twisted laugh released from my chest when she crunched another cracker.
She was eating though; that was good. And she wasn’t pushing me away.
If anything, she clung to me, like I was her lifeline, too.
“I didn’t mean any of it,” I rasped when I regained control of my sobs. “The shit I said in the garden. I didn’t want you to leave me alone, I was just fucked in the head. So fucked.”
Her fingers stilled on my head. I interpreted it as a question.
“I felt… dirty. Infected. And I didn’t want to infect you, too.”
Lynn caught my chin and lifted my head until our eyes met. She shook her head slowly, emphatically. Looked pissed as hell at me for even suggesting it.
I had to close my eyes to say, “The raid that day. It was—the same fucker who whored me out years ago. I smelled him there. I can still fucking smell him, can’t get rid of it. It messed me up, and I wasn’t myself. Then you said we were just friends, and it hurt.”
Look at me, talking about my emotions and being all healthy and shit.
I didn’t open my eyes, didn’t dare to, as I said, “It’s been more than that to me for months. We’re not just friends, Lynn, you’re so much fucking more. The thought of you being done with me makes me want to claw my own eyes out—”
Of all the reactions, Lynn putting her hand around my throat was a shock. I blinked. Locked eyes with her when she demanded it. A furrow tugged my brows together at the heated glare she fixed on me.
“I have no idea what you’re trying to tell me,” I admitted.
She tightened her grip until I wheezed. Ah. “I know,” I croaked. “We’re not done. Not ever.”
Her grip loosened, but she didn’t release my throat. Instead, she used my pliancy to position me where she wanted me and slowly, tentatively, kissed me. It was a simple brush of lips, but after the hell she’d just been put through, it made me want to cry.
“I will gut every last person who hurt you,” I breathed. “I will end anyone who dared to lay their hands on you.”
She tugged on my shirt none too gently, and this time I knew exactly what she wanted.
“Don’t get fucking crumbs on me,” I muttered, pulling my shirt over my head and throwing it across the room.
She snorted and settled against me, throwing her leg over mine. A long breath feathered over my skin when her head rested on my chest, her cheek rubbing against my skin.
I should have realised what it meant when she reached out. “God fucking dammit,” I grumbled when she crunched another cracker, little crumbs speckling my chest. “Why do I even love you?” I groaned.
I meant to say like, but fuck it, it was out there now. Lynn froze. I could have kicked myself for the worst goddamn timing, but she surprised the shit out of me when her tongue slicked a path over my chest, hoovering up the cracker crumbs.
“Be honest,” I said. “Do you love me or your Lunchables more?”
She tapped my chest once, twice.
“Option two? Fucking rude.” I fanned my fingers through her hair, working through tangles that her shower hadn’t undone. Her laugh warmed my chest, and so did the deep exhale she let out as I kept running my fingers through her hair, the movement therapeutic for both of us it seemed.
In minutes, her breathing evened out and her full weight draped over me as she fell asleep. I could have taken one of Giant’s pills and followed her into sleep, god knew my body needed it. Instead, I stayed awake and kept watch, making sure nothing else got anywhere close to Lynn except me.