Chapter 1
Chapter One
J ayne Kent stepped behind the quiet bar and sighed heavily. It was almost closing time at Books and Brew. While their Thursday crowd was usually larger thanks to an evening book club meeting, the snow seemed to have scared away most people. Glancing out the window, she guesstimated about three inches had fallen, with at least three more being predicted.
Ordinarily she loved snow, the peace that descended over the city whenever the white stuff fell. Tonight, the silence simply added to her loneliness.
“Good night, Jayne. We left the tip on the table.”
She smiled and waved goodbye to two of the last customers as they walked out. Looking over, she spotted Elias Clark in his usual chair in the corner, his nose buried in a book, oblivious to the world. They shared that unique ability to lose themselves in the words printed on the page. Or at least they used to. Lately, she couldn’t put aside the melancholy consuming her enough to concentrate on any book she picked up. She’d lost her talent for disappearing—just when she needed it most.
Reaching for a tumbler, she filled the glass with ice then reached for the Glenlivet Scotch. It was Elias’s favorite drink. She never drank usually, but tonight she felt the need for something stronger than her normal Shirley Temple.
“What are you doing?”
Elias’s deep voice cut through the quiet and startled her. “Oh!”
He rose slowly and walked to the bar. She admired his smooth elegance. She’d never met a man quite like Elias. A research scientist at a local facility, as well as an adjunct professor at a local university, everything about him fascinated her. Stephanie teased Jayne about her crush on him, but what she felt for Elias was too strong to be given such a juvenile description.
“I didn’t mean to frighten you.” He claimed a stool at the bar across from her. Even though he’d been coming to Books and Brew since they opened, she wasn’t sure she had ever seen him sitting at the bar. He always opted for the out-of-the-way leather chair.
“You didn’t. I knew you were here. I was just zoning out a bit. What did you say?”
“I asked what you were doing.”
She looked down at the glass of Scotch she’d poured. “Having a drink.”
He gave her a slight smile. “You don’t drink.”
She shrugged. “I do tonight. Thought I’d see what all the fuss is about with this Scotch of yours.”
He didn’t speak as she lifted the glass, silently toasting him before taking a sip.
She gasped. “Oh my God. That’s terrible.” She put the glass down, quickly looking around for something to kill the taste.
Elias’s grin grew and she realized she didn’t see him smile often. It wasn’t that he was miserable. Quite the opposite, he was very nice, genuinely friendly. While she’d always found him attractive, the full-fledged smile took his face from handsome to freaking hot in an instant.
“I should have warned you. It’s an acquired taste.” He rose and walked to the end of the bar, gesturing at the hinged entrance. “May I?”
She nodded. He lifted the wood and joined her. It was a night for all sorts of out-of-the-ordinary occurrences.
Elias reached for a clean glass and began to mix together several ingredients. Stirring, he handed her the new drink. “Given your love of coffee, I think you may find this more to your liking.”
She raised the glass with caution and sniffed at it. Elias’s face proved he was amused by her reticence.
“Trust me,” he said.
It was all she needed to hear. She took a drink. The liquor was smooth and creamy and quickly erased the lingering foul taste of the Scotch. “Delicious. What’s it called?”
Elias took a step toward her. Jayne’s breath caught. They’d never been so close—or alone. “Screaming Orgasm.”
She swallowed. Because of his nearness, Jayne was forced to look up. She’d known he was tall, but she’d never realized how great the difference in their heights until now. He topped her short, five-foot-four frame by at least half a foot, maybe more.
Yet another disparity between them. Another roadblock. Elias was forty-three to her thirty. While her friends perceived that age difference as too great, Jayne wasn’t sure she agreed.
“Screaming Orgasm.” She gave him a sad smile. “Never had one of those before.” There was a double meaning behind her response. In the past, she never would have made such a revealing remark, but tonight, she felt too weary to shield her words.
His eyes narrowed slightly, and she flushed.
Shit. Way to go too far, Jayne.
“I mean?—”
“I know what you mean, Jayne.”
She licked her lips nervously. God, she loved the sound of her name spoken in his deep, powerful voice. It did funny things to her body. Even now she could feel her arousal growing, her panties getting wet.
“The snow is falling harder. I think you should close early.”
She nodded. Clearly he wanted to go home, but he was too much of a gentleman to leave her here alone. “Okay.”
She went to the front windows and began to pull down the thin screens that kept people outside from seeing in, but still allowed light from the street to filter through. She expected Elias to gather his things and leave, so she was surprised when he hit the light switches, casting the room in near darkness.
“I still need to clean up.”
“I looked around. There’s not much left to do that can’t wait until the morning.”
She thought perhaps he was concerned for her safety, driving on the roads. “I don’t have to drive home. My apartment is only around the corner from here, so it’s no problem for me to stay and tidy up.”
He didn’t respond immediately, and she wondered if she’d misread his concern. Elias didn’t seem to be in any hurry to leave, especially when he reclaimed his chair in the corner, looking completely relaxed and at home. “I know where you live.”
“What are you doing?”
“Come here, Jayne.”
She obeyed without thought. There was something about the tone in his voice that left her weak at the knees. She claimed the comfortable chair next to his.
“I want to ask you a question.”
“Okay,” she said.
“You placed a bid on me at the bachelor auction last summer.”
She flushed. She’d hoped he hadn’t noticed that temporary moment of insanity on her part. She had raised her hand early in the bidding, knowing full well she’d never be able to win. The bids had gone high and raised a great deal of money for the community center Sophie had been hell-bent on saving from closure. She’d told herself she was driving up the price for a good cause, but that wasn’t true. She laughed uneasily. “Just trying to do my part to raise money for charity.”
“You didn’t bid on anyone else.”
She bit her lip. Why did he have to be so observant? And why was he bringing it up now? The auction had taken place last June. It was December. Six months of silence. “I guess I got carried away, caught up in the spirit of the event.”
Elias frowned but didn’t reply right away. Most of the time she found his quiet nature soothing, as it matched her own. Neither of them was overly chatty, and they found true peace and contentment in the still moments. How many nights had she joined him in this chair to discuss a new book they’d both enjoyed or to simply read next to him?
Unfortunately, this silence was unnerving. Anxiety provoked her to fill it. “I meant to ask you about your date with the winner, but it never came up. How did it go?” She hadn’t asked because her previously unrecognized jealous streak didn’t want to know.
“We went to dinner and a movie. Given the less-than-stimulating conversation over our meal, I’d say it was a good choice. We weren’t forced to make small talk during the movie. Afterward, I took her to her house, said good night at her front door and went home alone.”
She forced her face to remain impassive, tried to hide the smile his words provoked. The date had been a bust. She released a foolish sigh of relief. “Oh. I’m sorry it didn’t go well.”
Her grin gave her away. Laugh lines appeared around Elias’s eyes. “I can see you’re really upset by it.”
She didn’t reply. Instead, she looked toward the quiet street. The snow was becoming heavier, muting the sounds from the street. It felt as if she and Elias were the only two people left in the city.
“The date would have been different if you had won the bid.”
Elias’s voice cut through the silence. Her gaze drifted back to his face. “It would have?”
He nodded.
“No dinner and movie for me?” She tried to make her question sound lighthearted, but her curiosity was too strong. She’d wondered for years what a date with Elias would entail. He had fascinated, enthralled and ensnared her since the first night he’d walked through the door of Books and Brew. For nearly three years, she’d waited for his arrival at the store with an impatience that grew stronger with each consecutive visit.
“Would you like to know how our night would have gone?”
Jayne nodded, swallowing heavily. The air around them suddenly seemed thicker, more humid. She found it difficult to capture a deep breath, her lungs seizing before oxygen could penetrate.
Elias leaned back in the chair, his legs crossed at the ankles. He was the picture of relaxation. As he began his description, Jayne felt the strange certainty that he’d considered this date as much as she had. The idea was heady, comforting.
“I would have cooked dinner for you at my home.”
She flipped her hair away from her face, the action a nervous habit she’d tried to break for years. “I’ve never seen your house.”
“I live on the outskirts of town, not far from here. It’s a two-story set in the middle of about an acre of land. It’s fairly private. I like that.”
She didn’t respond. Didn’t need to. Everything about Elias told her he enjoyed a solitary existence.
“You like Chinese food, so I would have made you my world famous stir-fry.”
“World famous?” she teased.
His eyes twinkled. “How are you with chopsticks?”
She shrugged. “I hold my own, I suppose.”
“Doesn’t matter. I would have fed you.”
She didn’t anticipate the response his simple proclamation would have on her. She squeezed her legs together when a tingle grew in her pussy. She tried to ignore it. “I’m perfectly capable of feeding myself.”
His eyes narrowed. “It’s not a question of ability, Jayne. Rather, it’s a matter of desires. I want to feed you.”
The word desire coming from Elias’s lips fired far too many lustful images in her mind. Jayne hoped the darkness of the room hid her blushing. “What about after dinner?”
Elias didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he studied her face intently. “Are you sure you want to know? The answer may disturb you a bit.”
Jayne struggled to respond. Disturb her? She doubted there was anything Elias could do or say that would bother her. “Tell me,” she whispered.
Elias sat up slowly. “Come here.”
She was confused. They were already sitting next to each other, no more than a few feet separating them. “I’m here.”
He patted his lap, his meaning becoming clear.
He wanted her to sit on his lap? She blinked rapidly. Had she understood that correctly?
“Come here, Jayne. I don’t like to repeat myself.”
His words, his tone, sealed her fate. Her resistance melted away. Standing, she took the two steps required then paused again, trying to determine how to proceed.
“Open your legs and straddle my thighs. I want to have this conversation face-to-face. The seat of the chair is wide enough to accommodate the position. It’s one of the reasons I always sit here. It fires the imagination.”
He’d chosen his usual spot because of this ? This position? This fantasy? She straddled his lap, easing her knees down to rest outside his upper thighs. Her chest was nearly touching his, their faces so close she could smell the scent of Scotch on his breath.
Elias grasped her ass and pulled her closer, until her pussy touched the obvious erection beneath his dress slacks. She gasped for air, finding none.
“Breathe slower.” He imitated the concept, sucking in a deep breath. She mimicked the inhalations, matching her pace to his until it came easier.
He touched her cheek with one finger. “That’s better.”
“What’s going on?” she muttered, more to herself than to Elias.
His finger drifted to her lower lip, his gaze seemingly mesmerized by the spot. “You know.”
It was a simple assertion. And true. She did know. They’d circled around each other, this moment, for years. “Why now?”
His eyes lifted to capture hers. “It’s time. The excuses have run dry.”
She considered that. “The age difference?”
His face told her that wasn’t an excuse he’d ever considered. “Does that bother you?”
She shook her head. “Not at all.” Unfortunately she couldn’t figure out what had been holding him back. “Then what?”
“Your innocence.”
She frowned. She wasn’t a virgin. Then her suspicions regarding Elias came to mind. Perhaps she was innocent. “I’m not afraid of what you want.”
He didn’t answer. Instead, his fingers grazed her neck, finding the pulse point there. “Of course you are. But that fear won’t stop you.”
It wouldn’t. Nothing could stop this runaway train. It had been careening toward this moment for far too long. The moment of impact had arrived.
“You are incredible, Jayne. Beautiful. Smart.”
She’d received compliments from past boyfriends, but nothing anyone had ever said to her meant more. Elias’s opinion mattered. She searched for a way to return the kindness, but her words failed her. “I, I don’t know what to say to?—”
Elias placed his fingers against her lips. “I want you, Jayne.”
“You do?”
“You know what I like. What I need.”
She nodded. Elias had never spoken in words the truth of his darker nature, but he’d certainly dropped enough hints over the years. He was a Dominant, and by some freakishly wonderful quirk of fate, he’d finally decided he wanted her. “I’ve never submitted to anyone before.”
He knew that. He’d alluded to it when referring to her innocence. But it didn’t matter to him. She could see it in his face, his eyes. He’d teach her, lead her down the path she’d fantasized about but never thought to travel.
He smiled at her admission. “I want to be your first.”
She started to tell him that ship had sailed her junior year in high school, but she knew he wasn’t referring to some thin membrane that was there and gone in the blink of an uneventful night. In this, he would be her teacher.
But there was something else nagging in the back of her mind. The sensible part of Jayne was stepping forward, flashing warnings she found hard to ignore. “Just tonight.” She meant her words as a condition, but unfortunately she’d placed too much inflection on the last syllable. It came out as a question.
He shook his head. “No.”
She tried again. “Elias, I want to understand…” She paused, searching for a word but nothing came, so she used a generality. “ This . To try it. But I’m not certain I’m made for anything longer than the single experience. It’s a fantasy for me, but I’m not sure that will translate into a lifestyle.” God. She was saying it all badly and making some fairly large assumptions. Elias hadn’t specifically said he wanted more than a short-term affair. But inherently, she knew he did.
She waited. Elias didn’t seem inclined to answer. His eyes darkened as he studied her face and his fingers tightened slightly against her thighs.
Then at last his expression cleared. “What I want to do with you can’t be shared in just one night. I’m not interested in rushing this, opening a door and then closing it after only a peek inside. I need more from you than that.”
“You think I’m submissive.”
He smiled. “You have submissive qualities. And I’m certain that fact offends your feminist independent side. Being submissive doesn’t make you weak, Jayne.”
Too many conflicting needs reared their heads. She wanted Elias, wanted to sample what he was offering. But she’d spent too many years in a household where the man’s word was law. Her father had ruled the roost with a firm hand. Jayne had sworn she’d never live in anyone’s shadow—ignoring her own desires—simply to please a man the way her mother had. She had indeed seen weakness, and she’d vowed she wouldn’t follow that path.
“I can’t give you more than one night.”
“Of course you can. But perhaps it would be wise to start small since you’re nervous.”
She was pressed against him intimately and wanted to tell him there was nothing “small” about what she felt lurking beneath his pants, but she let him continue.
“So we’ll place a number on it. How many times would you be willing to bend your will to mine in the bedroom?”
“One.” It was a lie. She was just being difficult.
Elias didn’t appear to take offense. “Ten.”
She shook her head. “Three.”
“Five nights,” he countered.
Jayne licked her lips. Elias was offering her a chance to explore her sexuality within the confines of a set time frame. She’d be a fool to refuse something she wanted so badly. Her attraction to him had grown so much over the past three years, it sometimes made her light-headed with need. Her chest tightened with nerves and anticipation. Rather than speak, she merely nodded her assent.
“Your safe word is Scotch. If you’re uncomfortable with anything I ask you to do, simply say that and I’ll stop. At that point, we’ll discuss it before carrying on.”
“Scotch.” The word tasted better on her lips than the foul drink. She tried to restrain her schoolgirl giddiness. They were moving forward. She didn’t have a clue exactly where they were going, but she loved the way Elias looked at her, undressing her with his eyes. She felt desirable. Sexy.
“Take off your blouse. Slowly.”
She started to glance over her shoulder toward the street behind them. The blinds were drawn and they were hidden from view, but shyness crept in anyway.
Elias placed strong fingers on her chin. “No. Keep your eyes on me and do as I say. Let me worry about our surroundings.”
He was asking for her trust. Elias had spent years earning her faith in him. He’d offered her advice, support and friendship. He wouldn’t hurt her or let her down.
She nodded. “Okay.”
His eyes softened. “Your blouse.”
She lifted her hands, her fingers tackling the first button. They shook slightly, but Elias didn’t appear to notice. Instead, his gaze remained steadfast on her actions and each inch of bare skin she slowly revealed.
When the last button slipped from its mooring, he helped her slide the cotton over her shoulders, dragging the shirt away, letting the material fall to the floor.
She resisted the urge to cover herself, forcing her hands to remain by her sides. Unfortunately, the heat of her embarrassment and unease inched higher. She was grateful for the darkness, hoping it hid her damn blushing. It was a lifelong curse of being an introvert, someone uncomfortable around strangers. While working at Books and Brew had helped her overcome that shyness a bit, too much still lingered.
The childish physical response made her feel silly. He’d been right to think her innocent.
Elias reached out and ran the backs of his fingers along the top edge of her bra. It was a delicate touch, but it took her breath away in its intensity. His gaze moved from her breasts to her face. “Take off your bra.”
Air seeped from her lungs as panic and excitement warred for supremacy. The moment was steeped in anticipation and fear of the unknown. How far did he intend to take things tonight? Would they have sex? Here? In the bar?
The past three years had crept by, every second lasting an eternity as she’d longed for this moment. Now that it was here, it was moving far too fast.
She must have hesitated too long. Elias’s eyes narrowed and he tilted his head slightly, impatiently.
The unspoken warning was enough. She reached behind her back and unclasped her bra. Elias didn’t help. He expected her to bare herself to him. She’d never wanted to do anything more.
Or less.
With a hand holding the cups in place, she used the other to slide first one strap and then the second off her shoulders. Elias studied her progress.
Her heart raced as she slowly peeled the silky material away. This time, she was helpless to hold back her nervousness. She lifted her hands, covering herself.
Elias scowled. “No. Put your hands down.”
Her chest rose and fell rapidly, her mouth dry. She hated her body. She didn’t think she was different from most women in that regard. She wasn’t pencil-thin. Her breasts were large and not the slightest bit perky. Most mornings she woke up and wondered where this lumpy woman had come from, constantly vowing today would be the day the diet started, the exercise regime was instituted. Then she’d succumb to the lure of a doughnut or a piece of pizza or McDonald’s French fries, and the promise to lose weight was cast off, becoming one of tomorrow’s goals.
Her hands didn’t move. “I’m afraid I’m not?—”
“Don’t.” The word was spoken too loudly, too harshly. Jayne jerked in response as Elias’s face darkened. “Don’t make a disparaging comment about your body, Jayne. Ever. Or you’ll learn firsthand how I correct subs who misbehave. And believe me, your safe word won’t save you in that regard.”
Sub? God. She knew his intentions, but she hadn’t thought through the implications, the vocabulary.
She was going to be Elias’s submissive. He would be her Master. As long as they kept it within the set time frame, she was fine with that. In fact, she wanted the experience so badly it hurt.
“Put your hands down.”
She responded without thought. Elias only had to use that deep voice, issue that strong command, and she reacted on instinct.
Submissive. He was right. Though she kept waiting to feel the pinch, the shoe fit. A little too well.
Elias wasted no time in exploring the flesh she’d uncovered. His eyes took in every imperfect inch as he touched her. She was uncomfortable under his intense scrutiny. And aroused.
Please let him find me desirable.
She squeaked softly when he pinched one of her nipples. The corner of his mouth lifted. “Your body is responsive, sensitive.”
“I…” She hesitated, wondering how much she should reveal. Then she realized it was pointless to try to hide anything from Elias. “I haven’t had sex in nearly a year.”
And that last time had been nothing to write home about. It had been a very sad, very dry year on the sex front.
“Why so long?”
“I’ve been busy with Books and Brew.” It was true. She and her friends had vowed to give the business three solid years of hard work and long hours before they considered hiring extra help. They were approaching the end of that commitment and business was good. There was a light at the end of the tunnel.
“That doesn’t appear to have been a problem for Stephanie, Jordan or Sophie.”
He was right. Her girlfriends had managed to do their jobs and find love. She suspected that was partly to blame for her recent melancholy. She was tired of being alone.
“Are we going to have sex tonight?” She felt stupid for asking the question. She was straddling his lap, topless, and his erection felt thick and hard against her, but she needed to know exactly where this was headed. Right now she was aroused, overwrought, confused and tired. It wasn’t a comfortable mix.
“I assume by sex you mean actual penetration.”
She bit her lower lip and nodded.
“Then no.”
She frowned. “We’re not?”
His eyes crinkled as he smiled. “We’re going to play tonight, Jayne. Get to know one another a bit better, in a physical sense. If you enjoy what we do and you want to continue, then we’ll move to a more conducive setting for our other four nights together.”
“Aren’t we sort of wasting an opportunity?”
He shook his head. “No. When I take you for the first time, it’s going to happen in my bedroom and we’re going to have all night. You’re the one insisting on limits, but even so, we’re not going to rush this. We’re going to savor it.”
She sighed. “Shit.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I was a nervous wreck when I thought we were going to have sex. Now that I know we’re not, I’m disappointed. And horny as hell.”
He chuckled. “I think I need to clarify something before we start.”
“What?”
“I’m reserving the right to convince you to make this more than an exploration, a short-term affair. I want more from you. A lot more.”
“How do you know? Shouldn’t you wait until you’re sure I don’t suck in bed?”
He didn’t smile. She wished he had. At least then she could pretend her words had been a joke and not serious.
Elias cleared his throat. “Stand up.”
Jayne rose slowly.
“It’s clear I’m giving you far too much time to think. Take off your pants and panties.”
Jayne’s body went numb. She still hadn’t adjusted to the loss of her shirt and bra. Now he expected her to stand in the middle of Books and Brew completely naked? He hadn’t shed a damn thing. Not even his lightweight jacket.
Elias stood in front of her. “We’re going to have to work on your response time. You spend far too long considering my commands. I understand this is new to you, but I’ve repeated myself for the last time. From this point forward, you will do as you’re told immediately or you will be punished. Do you understand?”
She nodded, squeezing her legs together tightly. Her body was reacting to his demands even though her mind couldn’t.
She released the button on her jeans and tugged the zipper down. Shimmying slowly, she pulled her pants and panties over her hips, toeing off her shoes at the last minute. She sucked in a deep breath and held it.
The compulsion to close her eyes was powerful, but Elias held her gaze, forced her to look at him through silent strength of will. Then he lifted his hand and twirled his finger, indicating that he wanted her to turn around.
She paused for only a second before recalling his threat to punish her. She spun, moving leisurely, knowing he wanted to look at her—all of her.
Her desire to hide diminished as he looked his fill. Suddenly she longed for him to see her. To know her. She’d never wanted that before, but now she craved it with a passion.
After completing her slow turn, she faced him once more but couldn’t force herself to look at him. Was he repulsed or attracted?
Fear caused her to lower her eyes, afraid of discovering the answer.
“Look at me, Jayne. Let me see those pretty blue eyes.”
She swallowed heavily at his command, but she knew she couldn’t—wouldn’t—refuse him.
She raised her gaze, captured his.
And the truth crashed down on her. She was in way over her head.