Keeley #3
I scrolled through my playlists and chose Spencer’s album.
The first time I’d listened to it, I’d wanted to dance.
I was obsessed with it, listening to his songs on repeat.
When I hit Play, a sultry beat pumped through the speakers.
I let the music wash over me and stretched to the sounds of his soulful voice. With every note, my excitement grew.
I loved pole dancing. The sensuality and strength were addictive.
I loved the confidence it gave me and how sexy I felt dancing.
I slipped into my kneepads and pumps. The two-inch platforms and a stiletto heel that stretched my ankles’ flexibility to the max were perfect for the pole.
The patent black leather shone under the red spotlight, and the diamantes on my sports bra cast scattered prisms on the timber flooring.
I rolled my hips, letting the deep bass of the song thrum through me, carrying me away.
Spencer’s voice was a rasp as he sang about sex and fantasy colliding.
Grasping the pole above my head, I slid down it, my knees parted and my body waking up.
Dancing like this was empowering. It was me owning my body.
People said I was too tall and too overweight and too boring.
But none of that mattered out here. I felt sexy.
I was as in control and desirable as I wanted to be.
It was like a shot of aviation gas pumped straight into my thrusters.
Dancing had boosted my confidence more than anything I’d ever done before.
I stood slowly and spun around, my arm extended and the pole between my knees.
I rolled my hips before kicking out and turning again.
My heart thrummed in my chest, and a sheen of sweat broke out over my skin as I kept moving.
I closed my eyes and imagined being watched.
My nipples hardened as I pictured their hungry stares.
Miller would be touching himself. Spencer would prowl around me, watching me like a predator hunting for his next meal.
I ran one hand down my body, over my breasts, and to my pussy. I curled my leg around the pole, leaned back, holding on with my other hand, and I arched my back, grinding my pussy against the pole.
The guitar riff and heavy beat were hypnotizing.
Spencer’s voice was drugging. It enveloped me, wrapping me in a sensual haze.
I thrust my hips in a one-two beat, then let go.
It was like I was flying, anchored only to the pole by my bent leg.
I ran my hands down my body again and gripped the pole low before stretching up and sliding them down one after another like I was stroking a cock.
I swung my hips, shifting my weight from side to side, swaying and letting Spencer’s singing hum through me.
I dropped down, my knees wide and ass pushed out, all the while rolling my hips to the beat. I imagined Spencer in front and Miller behind, their cocks lodged deep inside me. I tossed my hair back over my shoulder and shivered as my pebbled nipples brushed against my sports bra.
I climbed the pole, my muscles screaming under the strain. I kicked my leg out and spun, loosening my hold until I could slide down the pole. My butt touched the floor, and I pointed my toe up to the roof and let go of the pole, easing myself down until I was resting on my side on the floor.
Blood was thrumming through my veins, every heartbeat a pulse in my clit. I was so wet, thinking about them.
Fantasizing about them was dangerous territory. I wasn’t ready for any kind of fling—whether that was a one-off or more. I had to keep Miller at arm’s length—I couldn’t touch, but I really, really wanted to. They were both forbidden fruit.
I flipped onto my stomach, picturing them manhandling me into a position they could take me in. I pulled up to my knees, my legs spread and my back arched. I could practically feel them inside me, taking me.
I rolled my spine, pushing my breasts out, then my hips. I shifted onto my knees and ran my hands up my body, mimicking the way they’d move theirs. My loose hair slipped through my fingers as I raked my fingers along my scalp, tugging just a little so it stung.
Falling forward again, I slid along the floor and moved on my side before I kicked one of my spread legs around the pole and grasped it with both hands. I spun and lifted myself at the same time as getting a foot underneath me. I thrust my hips again, imagining riding them.
My lungs were burning, and my muscles ached with that well-used feeling of a good workout. A sheen of sweat coated my body, and a drop ran down the divot along my spine.
I felt alive.
Absolutely high on life.
That voice in the back of my head—the one telling me I wasn’t good enough to keep Simon, that I wasn’t sexy or desirable—was silent. With every beat of my heart, confidence pumped back through my veins. I danced, throwing everything I had into my moves, grinding, shaking, and spinning.
Spencer’s music was my drug. The insane urge to dance for him—for them—hit me out of nowhere, but I let my fantasy play in my mind’s eye.
Spencer’s hit, “Midnight Hour,” started, and I closed my eyes, my body moving slowly and sensuously.
I let my mind wander with images of Miller and Spencer naked and me between them.
I kicked up and out, then lifted myself and spun.
My back arched, and I thrust my hips with every drumbeat.
I grasped the pole behind me and sank low, my knees spread, then twisted and leaped.
I hooked my hand and a knee around the pole, and the momentum drove me around, spinning me.
I pulled myself up and rolled my body, grinding against the pole.
“Oh wow, you’re incredible,” Carina’s whispered entreaty shocked me into stillness. I slid down the pole, my foot hitting the floor.
Had I been dancing for hours? Surely not.
“I’m so sorry for interrupting. I thought, for sure, you’d be cleaning or sleeping, but instead you’re out here killing it.”
I laughed self-consciously and reached for the robe I had hanging on a peg near the speaker, then shut off the music.
“Don’t cover up for me. You’re… wow. I’m blown away. You are so talented, and it was so sexy and beautiful. You had your eyes closed, and you looked like you were so into it. It was gorgeous. You’re gorgeous.”
I smiled reluctantly and hung the robe back up. “You were right. It's the first time I've had a chance to do something for me since Hannah arrived, and I feel… energized. I’m already sore, I’ve lost a ton of core strength, and I’m so inflexible now, but I feel alive.”
“I’m regretting coming back so quickly now.” She winced, but I waved her off.
“I need to take a break anyway. My hands are shaking.” I held them up and sure enough, I was trembling from the exertion. “Was everything okay?”
“Sure was. The girls had fun. We took them to the carousel in Balboa Park, and then we chased birds around on the grass and stopped for a snack. I’ve sent you the photos. They’re adorable.”
“Thank you.” I wiped my face, swapped my heels for flip-flops, shut the lights off, then followed Carina out, and pulled the door closed behind us. “I really appreciate it. More than you know. I had no idea how much I needed this.”
“Keeley,” Carina said and grasped my forearm gently. “You should be proud of yourself for doing this.” She smiled and added, “For taking care of you too. Hannah will see how important it is to care for yourself as well as others.”
I grinned and nodded, then turned around to see Rusty standing there, holding both girls.
“Mamá,” Hannah called out and held her hands out to me. My breath caught, and tears sprang to my eyes. I hurried over to her, and she threw her arms around me and gave me the same sloppy baby kiss she’d given the photo of her mom.
“Oh, my gorgeous, darling girl, I missed you,” I breathed her in and held her tight, kissing her face as I laugh-cried.
She giggled, and the sound lit up my soul.
Carina was right. I’d needed this more than I’d been willing to admit, and I was a better mom for having taken a couple of hours for myself.
We said our goodbyes, and I took Hannah inside to get cleaned up. She splashed in the tub and giggled every time I pretended to be shocked when she got me wet. By the end of it, she was yawning and her tummy was rumbling, and I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.