Keeley #2
Si drank the water and cleared his throat before he spoke again. “Of course. She can’t wait. That's why this will work so well. I want both of you, and you both want the kids. One day, you’ll want each other too.”
“Can you even hear yourself?” I laughed at the ludicrousness of it.
It was time I made it abundantly clear to him that this fantasy life he was living in would never in a million years eventuate.
“Simon, you need to listen carefully to me, okay?” He nodded like a puppy and I shook my head in disgust. “I won’t ever live with you.
I will never live with your mistress. We will never have sex again, and as for Amanda, no chance. Am I clear?”
He frowned as if he truly wasn’t expecting my outburst.
I kissed Hannah’s temple, reinforcing the boundary I’d set. “Every time we’ve spoken, I hear a lot of 'I wants.' You’ve apologized once. But it’s too late. We’re over. You shattered my trust in you, and you’ll never earn it back. We’re getting divorced.”
I watched the emotions play out on his face. Surprise. Disappointment. Determination. He was self-centered, egotistical, and completely inconsiderate. He opened his mouth to object, but I held my hand up to silence him and continued before he got a word in.
“It's not that I don't understand or accept polyamory. I do. I'm perfectly fine with it, and I probably would have been okay with you having a relationship with Amanda—”
His eyes widened like he’d struck gold. “See, we can make—”
“—if you were upfront about it. But you weren't. You cheated on me. You lied to me. You hid things from me—important things.” I watched with supreme satisfaction as the delight dimmed from his eyes when my words began to sink into his thick skull.
“We never had an open relationship because you were never upfront about wanting to date her.”
He opened his mouth again to speak, but I shook my head, and thankfully, he took the hint. I adjusted my hold on Hannah. She was getting heavier, starting to fall asleep in my arms. “You intentionally let me believe you wanted a working relationship with Amanda. That's it.”
“No—”
I resisted the urge to shove him. Stopping myself from reaching for the cast iron frying pan cooling on the stovetop was harder. I wanted to clang him across the back of the head with it, especially because he was still intent on arguing with me. He still didn’t get it.
“Every time you spoke about her, you made the decision to leave off important information so I would think you were simply colleagues. That's not how you have any kind of relationship, never mind a type that is so reliant on open communication and trust.”
He furrowed his brows and held his hands out like he was trying to tame a wild animal. “But I apologized.”
I ignored his comment. As if one apology would miraculously fix things between us.
I couldn’t help but think about my conversations with Carina and Kamirah about their relationships, and the books Cara recommended, including the one she wrote.
There was one thing every one of the partnerships had in common: They were open with one another.
They talked about their feelings and got consent.
They were considerate and cared for their partners’ feelings. They trusted one another.
Brayden and Spencer were like that too. They’d spoken about pursuing me individually if either one had the chance.
Brayden had seized it, and then he’d gone home to his husband and filled him in on what happened.
He’d made it clear right from the beginning that the two of them wanted me. They were a united front.
I wanted a relationship like Carina, Cara, and Kamirah had.
Actually, no, I was kidding myself. I didn’t want relationships like theirs. I wanted a Labrador cinnamon-bun hockey player and a standoffish, blunt, people-hating rockstar. I wanted their passion, sexiness, and generosity directed toward me and each other.
I smiled, then caught myself. Any indication to Simon that I wasn’t deadly serious, and he’d twist and turn it to suit his fantasy.
He reached for Hannah's wrist and tried to tug her thumb out of her mouth. I batted it away as she whimpered, a tiny cry escaping her.
“She shouldn’t suck on her thumb,” he said as if he had any say in her upbringing. “Pacifiers are better for a baby’s teeth.”
I picked up the glass he’d drunk from and placed it in the dishwasher, effectively putting Hannah out of his reach. “Honestly, I don’t care what you think, Simon.”
“Look, I know I haven’t been here, but I am now. Let me parent her.”
“Does Amanda know what you did? Did she know that you were cheating on me to be with her?”
“No,” he mumbled and coughed again, his chest rattling and his breath wheezing. “She thought you knew. We had a big fight the night everything went down.”
“We're done, Simon,” I told him again. “We were done before you answered that question, and we’re definitely done now.
You just reinforced my decision. I'm not your wife anymore. Don’t come here again.
You're not Hannah's father, either, so absolutely don't call yourself that.
You won't be having a relationship with her moving forward.” I walked to the corridor leading to the front door and gestured with my free hand. “Now get out of my house.”
“And if I don't want to?” he said from his spot at the kitchen table.
“We go to court, get divorced anyway, and spend a lot of money doing it.”
He gritted his teeth and shook his head. “Fine.” He pushed himself up out of the chair, the timber scraping along the flooring loudly, and stomped out of the front door.
I was grateful to not have a screen door—he totally would have let it slam after him. Could he have been anymore childish? I rolled my eyes. What a douche. I closed and locked the door after him, glad to see his taillights as he drove away.
I exhaled slowly, the weight of that conversation finally lifting.
“Come on, sweet girl. Let’s get you into bed. Should we skip the bath tonight?”
“Tory,” Hannah murmured, her thumb still in her mouth.
“Yeah, baby. I’ll read you a story.”
I carried Hannah into her bedroom and laid her down on the bed, then hopped on next to her.
Peace enveloped me when she rested her head on my shoulder, a rightness settling over me as she curled into my side.
We were in our little bubble, our safe space where my ex could no longer interfere.
He was out of our lives, or at least would be soon.
I opened Where is the Green Sheep? and began reading with a smile in my voice.