34. Doubts
Doubts
Almost a week later, Claire tumbled onto her bed and pulled her laptop over.
She'd spent last weekend deep cleaning her apartment, restocking groceries, and planning this week's meals.
And between late night work sessions helping Rick finish his outstanding tasks before his paternity leave and Noah's own work obligations, she'd rarely seen him.
They still hadn't publicly announced their relationship, and Noah was still keeping the job offer to himself. Frankly, it was starting to bother her.
Claire was in a weird state of grumpy and weepy at the same time.
She'd hoped a shower before movie night with Lucinda would lift her mood, but she was still out of sorts.
Pushing aside her negativity, she opened the video chat and smiled at Lucinda's new hairdo when she answered. The blue streaks had been replaced.
"Neon green. I like it," she said as a greeting.
"What can I say? Your Brinnie inspires me." Luce swung her head from side to side so Claire could see the back as well.
"I love it. It suits you."
Lucinda's eyes narrowed. "Okay, what's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"BZZT! Wrong answer." Lucinda stuffed a bite of spaghetti into her mouth.
"Did you make that? Or is it takeout?" Claire asked, mostly out of curiosity, but also as a stalling tactic. She watched her screen as Lucinda held up a finger and finished chewing.
"Leftovers from last night. Dinner with the crew. Now, stop trying to change the subject and spill. What's going on?"
Claire sighed. She brought Lucinda up to speed on this past week's events, including Noah's job offer and the sticky situation they found themselves in.
"Hold up. Did you just casually skip over the part where he said he loved you? Girl, you buried that headline so deep it's halfway to China. He said he loved you!
"Yeah," she smiled and relaxed. "That part was pretty great." She got warm all over thinking about it.
"Let me get this straight. He told you he wasn't taking a job if it meant he couldn't be with you, but you're sad about it?"
Claire sighed again and flopped back onto her pillows, taking her laptop with her.
"I don't know." She paused and thought about it.
"Okay, here's the thing. We agreed to tell the team about us two weeks ago.
Then he got that job offer last week and hasn't said a word to anyone.
It's been two weeks! Has he changed his mind?
Is he waffling? Is he not telling the team about us because he's actually considering taking this job?
I don't know what's going on in his head right now, and I'm kind of panicking. "
They sat a moment in silence, thinking it through. Claire pulled at a string on her skirt, listening to Lucinda sip her drink through a straw.
"Also," Claire continued, "we've been so busy with work, we've hardly seen each other this week. Like, we went from hanging out together every day to just passing in the hallway or trading random texts. He hasn't spent the night once this week. And this came after this job offer."
Lucinda took another bite and Claire chewed her thumbnail.
After an unbearable pause, Luce spoke. "He's always been kind of in his head, though, right? Like when you first met him and you had to pin him down to get answers?"
"Yeah, but that was because he viewed me as the enemy and was actively avoiding me." Claire grimaced. "Right?"
Lucinda shrugged. "That could be part of it. But maybe deep thinking is part of his process when he's working something out. Didn't you say he did woodworking stuff?"
"Yeah, so?"
"Think about how you approach coding. You draw up your flowchart, you list out your testing scenarios, you write up your pseudocode with comments before you ever type a line of actual code.
You have a rigid, solitary process that no one else can help you with.
It's how you solve problems and get your mind right.
Maybe the woodworking thing is his. And he's in Houston right now, away from his tools.
" She shrugged. "Or maybe it has nothing to do with anything. What do I know?"
Claire let her friend's words sink in. Noah had spent much of his free time in England refurbishing his home. Lucinda could be right. His woodworking and remodeling activities were his thinking time. And he'd been spending all his time here with her. Time off this week might be a good thing.
"Okay, you've made me feel better. I'm too up in my head about it and I need to trust that he cares about me and is just figuring it all out."
"There ya go. Ninety-five percent of the things we worry about never come to pass," Lucinda quipped.
"Is that a real statistic?" Claire's lips twitched.
"Of course. Here's another: seventy-two percent of statistics are made up."
"You totally made that up."
"One hundred percent true. Now, what movie are we watching tonight?"
Noah put the last glass in the dishwasher and closed the lid.
Rick handed him a beer, and they headed for the couch.
Tonight had been Noah's turn to host this week's Wednesday night poker game.
His temporary apartment was pretty basic, but had room enough to handle entertaining a few guests.
Larry had won the pot tonight, so they'd have to listen to him brag until someone else beat his ass but overall, they'd had a good time.
Everyone else had departed earlier, and Noah had asked Rick to stick around.
"How's Peggy?" Noah asked. Rick had been flying home every weekend these last two months to spend time with his very pregnant wife.
Rick smiled. "Ready to pop. Her due date is Sunday."
"Sunday?" Noah perked up. "Are you giving me the inside track on the betting pool?"
"Ha! Much to my surprise, the due date is an approximate 'anywhere within two weeks of this date' kind of deal. There are no guarantees."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. I bought a standby ticket last month, just in case. Although Peggy insists she's going to arrive right on time."
"She? You're having a little girl?" Noah smiled. He could see Rick being completely wrapped around his little girl's finger. "Geez, I knew we were getting close, but it kind of snuck up on me. You must be very excited."
"Yeah. That's why I stayed this past weekend.
I finished up the last of my big-ticket items on Sunday and Claire's been helping me with smaller jobs.
" Rick scratched the back of his neck. "I keep reminding everyone Friday is my last day, but they keep adding to the list. I just keep shuffling everything over to Claire.
" He smiled. "Anyway, what'd you want to talk about? "
Noah's heart skipped a beat at Claire's name.
He tugged at his shirt's collar. "I have a complication.
Claire and I are together. Officially. We made it official.
" He stopped stammering and waited for Rick's reaction.
When the other man took another sip of his beer, Noah realized this wasn't news to him.
And we thought we were so careful. Although, to be fair, Rick always was a keen observer.
It's why he was so good at managing his team.
"Jackie offered me a job in IT. A managerial position reporting to Simon and taking over several of his direct reports."
Rick was quiet while he absorbed the info. "I can see it. No more operations stuff for you, huh?"
He shrugged. "It's a giant shift for me not to be in operations.
I got my start on the manufacturing side.
I've loved the challenge of figuring out how to produce the latest and greatest designs, working out production schedules, and all the rest. Until recently, that is.
" He paused and took a drink, considering his next words.
He hadn't really talked to Rick about his growing dissatisfaction with his day job.
"The thing is, I like what I'm doing on the project too.
Working with all the plants and seeing what they're doing.
What they're screwing up and, more importantly, what they're getting right that we can apply elsewhere.
I love that, too. And I think I could make a difference by being able to see the entire picture.
There have been a couple of times this past year where we've fixed some issues unrelated to the project because we had someone in this elevated position who could see the misalignment. "
"You're good at it, too." Rick picked up the TV remote and absently flicked through the muted channels, but Noah knew he was listening. Rick was one of those guys who needed to move while he processed. "And the complication?"
Noah exhaled harshly. "I'd be Claire's manager."
Rick grimaced and put down the remote.
"Exactly. I would love to take this job, but I can't be her manager.
" He ran a hand through his hair. "I love her, mate.
It's still new. Hell, we haven't even talked about what the future looks like.
" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean, we're still living in the now.
In the 'I just figured out I have big feelings for you' stage.
But this job offer… It's forcing us to talk about things that should be far-future discussions. "
Rick took off his glasses and cleaned them with his shirttail. "What's the job exactly?"
Noah told him what Jackie had proposed and shared the story of the CEO and his wife.
He also shared his growing ambivalence with going back to being a production manager in England.
They talked for another hour about jobs, managing people, and even how Rick met Peggy and when he knew she was the one.
As Rick stood up to leave, he said, "It sounds like a brand-new position they're creating." At Noah's nod, he continued, "Which means they may not have it set in stone yet. Why don't you counter their offer with something that works for you?"
Noah stilled. "That's brilliant! Jackie sent me over a vague job description—no day-to-day details—which pretty much confirms they're still figuring it out."
He stood and snapped his fingers. "I'm going to counteroffer." He rubbed his jaw. "I just need to figure out what it should be. And I need help from someone who knows IT."
"Larry?" Rick asked.
"Fuck no!" Rick laughed at Noah's immediate recoil. "I mean, Larry would be useful—he made the same jump from production to IT—but he couldn't keep a secret to save his life. And I need to negotiate this carefully."
Noah stretched, already thinking through his next steps. "Okay. I think I know what to do. I'm calling a brainstorming meeting. You in?"
"As long as it's before this weekend."
"Right." Noah nodded and looked at the wall calendar hanging by the makeshift home office he'd created in his corporate apartment. "Looks like tomorrow is our only option with you leaving so soon. I know exactly who to invite. We'll do supper at Claire's place and talk it through."
Noah pulled Rick into a rough hug and thumped him on the back. "Thanks, man. It's a relief to share this with someone. And you've given me some ideas."
"No problem. Glad things are coming together for you. On both fronts. Not to mention, I'm always up for another homemade meal from Claire. She's an excellent cook."
"Yeah, she is."
He walked his buddy to the door, then headed straight to his computer to capture the ideas swirling in his head.