Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
KODIAK
Emma was in the car barreling out of the parking lot. The key fob lay on the ground next to her bag and cell phone. I grabbed it, got behind the wheel, and tore out in pursuit. The vehicle turned right at the intersection. I made the same turn under a minute later and called Luke.
“Emma’s been taken. Gray sedan heading east from the courthouse lot.”
“On it. Atticus is with me. We’re right behind you.”
I left the phone on speaker and set it on the console beside me. “I’m on him. He’s turning south.”
“We see you,” Atticus said. “Two cars behind.”
I ran two red lights in the first mile. The sedan was four blocks ahead. Then it turned onto a two-lane road heading west.
I closed the gap to two blocks. Then one. He was driving scared, going too fast on the curves and overcorrecting.
Then the vehicle pulled onto the shoulder.
“He’s stopped. I’m stopping,” I said.
I jumped out of the SUV, running toward the other car and shouting Emma’s name.
The passenger door opened, and she got out.
“Don’t shoot! He’s unarmed!” she shouted. “The knife is on the dashboard, and he surrendered.”
I ran to her. She grabbed the front of my jacket with both fists and pressed her forehead into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and held on.
I’d spent each morning of the last three days out on the dock near the bay while Emma slept. I owed her my story—Jake’s story—and I couldn’t put it off any longer.
When I heard her in the kitchen, I went inside.
“Come outside with me?” I asked.
She set the coffee she’d poured on the counter and followed me down to the dock. We sat on the edge, with our legs over the water.
“My brother, Jake, was three years older than me,” I began.
“He was a Marine who served in Afghanistan. He went in first, and I followed him into service because he was the person I wanted to be. He couldn’t leave anything alone.
If someone had a problem, Jake was going to fix it whether they asked him to or not. ”
I’d already told Emma that, but it was the thing I remembered most about my brother.
“He was different after his discharge. He was the same man in the same body, but inside was where he’d changed.
I’d been trained to read people, and I could see exactly what was happening to him.
” I rubbed the back of my neck. “That made it worse because knowing what was wrong didn’t mean I could fix it. ”
“Then what happened?” she asked.
“The VA put him on a waitlist for eight months. His paperwork was mishandled twice. He called the number they gave him, sat on hold for forty-five minutes, and hung up.”
Emma put her hand on my arm.
“A priority deployment came up, and I took it.”
This was the hardest part, and I had to take a deep breath and let it out slowly before I could continue.
“I told myself Jake was stable. I told myself the VA would come through and that I’d drive him to the appointment myself when I got back.
None of that was why I took it.” My throat was tight, but I made myself keep going.
“I took it because the mission was something I could do.
Helping Jake was something I was failing at.
I chose the deployment because it was easier than sitting with him while he disappeared.
“The voicemails started the second week. ‘Hey, it’s Jake. Give me a call when you get a chance.’” I had to stop again.
“Then they got longer. ‘It’s been a rough couple of days. It’d be good to have you around for a while.
’ He was telling me he needed me, and I let every one of those calls go to voicemail. ”
Emma gripped my arm.
“He died on a Tuesday. I was on the other side of the world, and I didn’t find out until Thursday.
I flew back on Saturday and stood in his apartment with his dog tags in my hand and his last voicemail on a phone I hadn’t checked.
” I let the tears fall because there was no point in trying to stop them.
“‘I just wanted to hear your voice, Cole. Take care of yourself.’”
I was too choked up to get through the hardest part. Emma put her hand over mine and held it there.
“That was the last thing my brother ever said to me,” I managed to say before I couldn’t speak any longer.
“The wedding,” I began a few minutes later.
“Whatever happened that day no longer matters,” Emma said, leaning into me.
“I need to say it.”
She nodded once. “Go ahead.”
“I left the dance floor that day because I wanted you so much it terrified me. Wanting someone means you can lose them, and the thought of going through that again…God, this is hard.”
“I’m listening, Coleman, but you don’t have to go on.”
I shook my head and squared my shoulders. “My ghosting you in the six weeks that followed wasn’t because of anything you did or didn’t do.”
“I know that now.”
“I love you, Emma. I’ve loved you since the day you walked into the K19 command center on Canada Lake.”
“And I’ve loved you since you walked into the women’s bathroom at Treasury and told me you were taking me home.”
She laced her fingers through mine, and all I could think was how much Jake would’ve liked her.