CHAPTER 12
ELLEN
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
"No, Ellen. It's not a date. We are just friends," she whispered in her own mind.
It wasn't a date, but Ellen felt that familiar nervous flutter she'd get before going out with Leah for the first time, back in the day. A feeling she shouldn't be experiencing now, right? Because… well… Roxy was in a relationship.
Ellen heard Taylor's bedroom door open, followed by footsteps heading toward her room.
When Ellen looked back at her door, Taylor was there, half asleep and resting against the frame.
"Twinie, it's 4:57 in the morning. Please tell me you're not fully dressed already for your date.
" Taylor's voice was low and slept rough.
"All depends on how you define 'fully dressed,'" Ellen replied. "Anyway, it's not a date. Only a breakfast between two new friends."
Taylor rolled her eyes. "If you say so, but just saying, you smile every time you think about her and you think about nothing else than her for the last week. So…"
"Hey, that's not true." Taylor glanced at her with a slightly doubtful look, tilting her head a bit. "Okay, yes, that may be true, but she still only sees me as a friend, Tay."
Taylor approached Ellen and wrapped her in a back hug, a signature move of hers. "Perhaps but my intuition tells me this marks the start of a new chapter for you," she said. "My guess is you should be playing the long game, Twinie."
"She's so mysterious. There's always a layer with her I can't quite read."
Taylor tilted her head. "Does that scare you, or turn you on badly?"
"Shut up, Tay," Ellen replied, laughing. "I am serious. That makes me wanna know her better, and that's what freaks me out."
Taylor rubbed her eyes, trying to wake herself up. "Ugh, too early for deep thoughts... but yeah, if she's worth it, the mysterious thing just makes it more interesting, right?"
Her eyes glued to the mirror, Ellen gave a slight nod.
Taylor brushed her knuckles lightly against Ellen's shoulder. "Just go with the flow and don't overthink it. Call me after your date. I will be at the airport, and I want all the details, okay?"
"Yeah, I'll call, but don't get your hopes up, since it's not a date."
"I'd love to stay with you longer," said Taylor, whose disappointment could not be more obvious.
"Please stop," Ellen responded, a gentle smile on her face. "You've been a lifesaver these last few days. Now Blake's counting on you for her launch, and Leah will kill you if you don't show up soon to help her with it."
Taylor gave a quiet chuckle and said, "You bet she can."
"I love you, Tay."
"I love you too, Twinie." And she disappeared down the hall without another word.
***
"This. Is. Not. A. Date."
The more Ellen repeated it, the more irritating it got, as her belief in it diminished. Because all signs pointed toward it. The difference was subtle, and she had the sensation of dangling on a line she didn't even realize was so tight.
The time was a quarter past six in the morning.
Ellen was already in the restaurant for ten minutes when Roxy was expected to show up in fifteen minutes.
She settled on a look that was both relaxed and stylish: a floral tee paired with black pants, complemented by minimal makeup and understated jewelry. She felt pretty. Pretty for Roxy.
Ellen snagged a table by the window so she could see her coming in.
She held her coffee with both hands, not for warmth, but to keep from fidgeting.
Every few seconds, she glanced at the door, then pretended she hadn't.
She thought everyone was staring, but really, the restaurant was just its normal, busy self.
The place was buzzing with conversations trying to outdo each other, and the waiters were rushing around taking orders.
No one gave a damn about Ellen Caldwell.
To ease her nerves, she focused on her coffee and its wisps of smoke, but her name being spoken made her jump. "Ellen! You should've said there was a dress code."
Ellen looked up. Dark jeans rolled up to the ankles, sunglasses resting nonchalantly on her hair. Roxy was right in front of her with a grin. "I would've made myself pretty like you." For a second, Ellen forgot to breathe, and her face got all red before she knew what was happening.
How was this woman not aware of the effect she had on her?
"Oh, um... you're… um," Ellen responded, blushing and attempting to conceal her unease from Roxy's recent remarks.
"No worries if I'm a bit underdressed," she sweetly assured. "You're hot enough for both of us." As if nothing had happened, she immediately picked up the menu. "Nice place. What's good here?"
"I've never been here before, actually," Ellen said. "A friend from work suggested it."
Roxy smiled and gave Ellen a thoughtful look. "Interesting. In other words, a new experience that I am privileged to enjoy in your company, which is lovely."
Roxy then filled her in on what just happened to her before arriving at the restaurant.
Asking Ellen to outline it would be futile; her attention was entirely captivated by Roxy's features and gestures.
In what world would Roxy consider herself underdressed?
To Ellen, Roxy was absolutely radiant and incredibly attractive this morning.
"Ellen?" Ellen snapped out of her thoughts and noticed Roxy staring at her with a gentle smile. "Are you okay?"
"Uh, yes, sorry. Didn't really sleep much last night."
Roxy tilted her head to the side. "Oh? Work, I presume. You started, right?" Ellen gave Roxy a small nod. "Got anything else you'd rather be doing right now instead of being here?" It felt like a joke, but it was loaded with meaning.
"Don't worry about me, Roxy." Ellen smiled as she said, "I'm skilled at handling priorities."
"Do breakfasts like this one rank high on your list of priorities?"
"Only for women like you, Roxy."
Damn. Too much. She knew it the second it left her mouth.
However, Roxy gave no hint that this statement had thrown her off. "And what sort of woman am I?" she teased, full of that Roxy edge that both unsettled and drew Ellen in.
"The kind that's mysterious… because you won't talk much about yourself."
"Funny. I sometimes feel like I'm saying way too much," Roxy said. "But I can't tell you everything. Or I'd have to eliminate you, and that would be tragic."
Was she flirting?
Ellen had to react quickly. She couldn't let herself get thrown off balance like this and make a mistake that could hurt her. "Then it's better not to take any chances," she replied with a smile that clearly bounced back at her flirting.
Ellen felt her pulse quicken and become irregular. All her thoughts were racing through her head, like a house of cards collapsing in on itself. Ellen wasn't used to being read and adjusted in real time the way Roxy seemed to be able to do.
She had never experienced this with Leah and Caroline. Leah always intimidated Ellen with her strength of character and the power of her love for her. She was a bully, so she had that classic intimidating vibe.
The strangest thing was that Ellen felt trusted and safe with Roxy. She felt like she could tell her absolutely everything, with no fear of being played.
And Ellen still wondered: Was she flirting?
God. Maybe the better question was: Why did she want so bad Roxy to be?
The conversation steered away from flirting areas into topics that felt much more at ease. Roxy was recounting her early days in Sydney, house hunting, when Ellen just had to jump in.
"So, you two go way back?"
"I beg your pardon?" Roxy asked, and Ellen realized she had just jumped from one thing to another as usual.
"Sorry. I mean, Charles. You've been together long?"
"Oh, right. Charles. Uh… eight years now."
Ellen noticed Roxy's sudden unease. "Wow, that's great... really great," Ellen said softly, trying not to show she was a bit bummed.
Was she really expecting something else?
"You know," Roxy said, surprising Ellen, "we know each other really well now. He's basically my best friend." She was looking at Ellen, trying to say something with her eyes.
Was she saying that Charles was more of a friend than a romantic partner? Ellen thought. Am I a bad person because Roxy's relationship might not be as strong as she thought?"
Ellen felt bad for wanting to ask, but worse for liking Roxy's answer. Then, the next question popped up right away. "And you've always dated men?"
She nodded slowly, then looked down at her coffee as if it might help her find the right answer. "Yeah, I think."
That was the exact moment Ellen felt the power shift back to her. "You think?" Ellen's satisfied tone accompanied her question. "More often than not, the answer to that question is a plain 'yes' or 'no.'"
Ellen could practically feel the gears turning in Roxy's mind as she strategized her escape. "Trying to lawyer me, Miss Caldwell?"
"Your guess is as good as mine," Ellen teased.
Ellen watched Roxy trying to avoid holding her gaze for too long. "Yes, Ellen. I always dated men."
"And never been curious?" Ellen asked gently.
She glanced at her, a flicker of surprise crossing her face—not defensive but more taken aback.
"Uh," she paused, "like, maybe once or twice here and there. I had a bit of a crush on your sister back in the day, like lots of straight girls do, but I always knew what was best for me."
"What about right now, Roxy?" Ellen asked a question without thinking, which got Roxy to focus on her. But she stayed speechless for a few moments. Ellen held her gaze and let the silence stretch, just enough to make herself understood. "Is there a chance you're not seeing the whole picture?"
Roxy studied Ellen. Her thumb glided once along the rim of her glass. Then she looked down—not shy, just thoughtful—and when her voice returned, it was quieter. "Do you think I'm missing something then?"