CHAPTER 16
ELLEN
Six years earlier.
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
This evening seemed like any other for the Caldwell-Donovan household. Leah was out for a business dinner—with potential clients, according to what she had told Ellen. She had remained vague, as a talented lawyer like Leah should be.
Ellen took advantage of this to linger a bit at the office before heading home and cooking herself dinner with a generous glass of her favourite Australian red wine. The perfect setting for shopping for an engagement ring.
Ellen was happy at her core. Leah fulfilled her in every aspect of her life. Through thick and thin, Leah remained devoted, cherishing Ellen with a love that was wholeheartedly returned.
Was everything perfect? Of course not. Leah often took the initiative and made Ellen face a done deal. But what mattered most was the palpable sense of trust that flowed between them.
It was for this very reason that Ellen made up her mind to take a chance and ask Leah to marry her at the traditional Caldwell's Christmas party, with Leah's family also invited. She'd had it in her mind for ages, but now she was more fired up than ever.
After a full fifty minutes of examining gemstones and metals on the internet, Ellen finally unearthed the perfect ring for Leah. Without waiting, she opened the chat thread "The Caldwell Sisters" on WhatsApp.
Ellen Caldwell - 8:27 PM What do you think of this one?
Sure enough, the three dots showing Taylor was typing popped up right away.
Taylor Caldwell - 8:28 PM OMG TWINIE!!!!!! STOP SEARCHING!!!
THIS IS THE ONE!!!!
Jessica Caldwell-Fortin - 8:29 PM I totally agree.
Ellen was smiling broadly at her computer screen when she heard the door unlock. "Shit!" She quickly closed her screen and looked at her watch. The time was half past eight in the evening and Leah got home.
Much earlier than expected.
Ellen tried hard to hide her nervousness and appeared 100% chill. She stood and walked over to Leah. Ellen's hands gently framed Leah's face as she kissed her, her lips soft and yielding.
"Hey honey, how was your day?"
Leah offered no reply, her lips set in a straight line, and there was no smile to be seen. Ellen instantly noticed she appeared preoccupied. "Is everything okay? You seem off."
Leah's voice trembled as she uttered the dreaded words, "We need to talk." Ellen's blood ran cold.
What on earth was happening?
Ellen stared at Leah, trying to form words, but everything seemed to be stuck in her throat. Panic took hold of Ellen. "Leah, please, say something. I'm freaking out."
And then, with a deep breath, Leah finally unleashed the explosive secret that would irrevocably alter their lives. "Do you remember my McCallum deal?"
"Yes, the one Cubic Artist Management hired you to negotiate the deal with the Montreal producer?" Ellen wondered where this could lead. "Is there a problem? I thought it'd been a major win?"
"So, Cubic offered me a job," Leah said. "They asked me to join their executive team and gave me artist rosters to manage."
The words had an immediate effect on Ellen, whose relief was unmistakable. All the tension and terror evaporated from Ellen's body. Her eyes once again showed happiness at seeing Leah back home.
"Leah, don't scare me like that. This is such good news. Do you realize that all your hard work is paying off? All those nights you spent studying for your MBA. If only you knew how proud I am of you."
But nothing on Leah's face changed despite Ellen's expression of pride. "Leah? What are you holding back?"
"We'd need to move to LA."
"Oh. Okay, I see," Ellen stuttered. "Have you already told them yes?"
It wasn't a question. Leah's "We need to talk" was a heads-up, so Ellen already knew the score.
"I said yes on the condition that you are in.
" Everything around Ellen faded away. Her meal, her glass of wine, the ring she had just found.
Everything. She tried to focus on Leah's words, but it was too much.
"It just makes sense. Your sisters have already got their places in LA, and I checked, there was still a unit available in their tower.
I asked the broker to reserve it for us.
Picture it, Ellen. The three Caldwell sisters at the same place. "
"You already planned all of this…"
Leah took it as a question, even though Ellen wasn't asking one. "Well, yes. It wouldn't have made sense to discuss all this with you without a concrete, workable plan to show you, am I right?"
"I suppose."
Leah grinned at Ellen and then continued talking for several minutes. Leah was so engrossed in the words echoing through the room. She never noticed Ellen's smile faltering and her eyes losing their sparkle. Ellen's body language was perfectly clear.
At some point, Leah discussed her vision of a career transition for Ellen. "Consider how beneficial LA could be for a lawyer like yourself."
"And my job at AtMedias?"
"Well, maybe your father might consider allowing you to work remotely."
Reality pulled Ellen back sharply, and she voiced, with a tone she found unpleasantly sharply, "Oh, because you didn't already ask him about?"
"What?" Leah was visibly confused.
"You didn't already ask him about it," Ellen repeated. "Did you already plan how and when I will present it to my dad?"
"Of course I haven't. Why would I have done that?"
"Maybe because you already accepted a job offer…"
"Only if…" Leah interjected, her face betraying a renewed sense of panic, but Ellen raised her voice.
"You already accepted a job offer," Ellen repeated. "Without consulting me. You found us a home there, without consulting me. And you planned my career without consulting me. You've fallen into the same pattern again, Leah."
Leah tried to speak but couldn't make sense of it. "I don't understand what the problem is," she said in a voice that seemed tinged with confusion.
"We had a future planned together, Leah. We had a life here. The first thing I know is that you're changing this plan and leaving me to deal with the fallout. Again." There was no malice or reproach in Ellen's tone. Quite the contrary, everything she said screamed true.
And that truth hit Leah right in the face. She opened her mouth, but the words failed her. All she could manage to say was a simple, "Ellen..."
Ellen quietly approached Leah, whose excitement was now a thing of the past. "It's okay, Leah. It's okay."
"No, Ellen. It's not okay," Leah let out. "It's so not okay. Fuck. You're right. I always do this. I always presume you would follow me." Remorse overwhelmed Leah, who seemed entirely sincere. "Forget it, okay? It was a bad idea."
"You already said yes," Ellen said. "How could I stop you from taking it? I see the sparkle in your eyes. You'll regret it if you don't take it. Am I wrong?"
"Okay, but you're coming with me, right?" pleaded Leah.
Ellen's eyes were getting wetter. "I can't."
"What?" Leah asked between ragged breaths.
"You know what the plan is for me, and where my dreams are. No matter what, you always came before anything else. But I can't move with you to LA. I risk fading away so that you can flourish. And it's not your fault if you have this effect on me."
Ellen saw the flicker of understanding in Leah's eyes, a moment that seemed to bring her pain. "Shit, you're right," Leah muttered. "Okay, that's it. I'll call them back and say it's not working anymore."
"No, you won't, Leah. We both know you won't be happy if I'm holding you back from this. You'll hate me. It's inevitable."
"No, it's not true. There is no way I could ever hate you. You are the love of my life. My soulmate. Please, Ellen. Let me prioritize you for once."
Ellen closed the gap between them, kissed Leah, and then pulled her into a tight hug. "I love you, Leah. So much. That's why we only have one choice."
"Ellen? Are you…?" Leah feared the answer to her own question.
Ellen closed her eyes, and it was more than enough to send Leah into a state of deep panic.
"No, no, no… Please don't do this. I love you, Ellen."
She softly pushed Leah away and wiped a tear with the sleeve of her sweater as she headed for the bedroom, leaving a devastated and panicking Leah standing in the middle of the open space.
Ellen came out ten minutes later with her gym bag in hand. It was too hard for Ellen to stay there tonight. Leah, who was still panicking, immediately stared at Ellen's bag. "Please, Ellen, don't leave like that. We can talk. We will find a solution together. I am begging you. Stay with me."
"I'm going to Tay's. Just let me process all this. We will talk tomorrow, okay?"
Leah simply nodded, swallowing a sob. And just as Ellen reached for the door handle, the words came out: "Ellen… I'm sorry for making you feel you're not enough."
"I know you are," Ellen said, "just don't do something stupid, like calling them and turning down the offer."
Then she turned the handle and left their condo. Their house. She wanted to reassure Leah that this wasn't the case, and that Leah had never made her feel that way. But that would have been a lie.
Ellen arrived at Taylor's house twenty minutes later. She opened the front door with her spare key, a twin privilege, and went up to the second-floor apartment. It was a relief for Ellen that Taylor was back, as she'd just gotten home from opening for Sum 41 in Europe.
Taylor opened the door and saw Ellen, with her overnight bag, on the verge of breaking down. She closed her eyes and held out her arms. "Shit. Come here, Twinie."
Ellen didn't wait for another second and threw herself into her twin's arms.
"I'm here and everything's going to be okay," Taylor added. "I'm glad you came. Do you want me to ask Jessie to come?"
Ellen didn't need words for Taylor to understand. They shared only a look.
"Alright, let's call her."