CHAPTER 30 #2
"Stop! Stop right there." Ellen stood tall and fired back, "How dare you say that when you're the one who invaded my life!
You smiled at me, took everything I gave you without understanding its true meaning, and then fed it to someone else.
I am not a character in a fucking Jason Bourne novel, tabarnak! "
Ellen may have said the last one too loudly because everyone, including Taylor, Jess, and Blake, looked up like prairie dogs. Swearing in French knew how to attract attention, but honestly, 'elle s'en calissait ' (she didn't give a fuck).
"I didn't. I didn't report anything."
"Don't lie to me again now."
"I don't," Roxy said, sobbing. "What we have between us is real."
"But it wasn't real, Roxanne," she hissed. "How could it be if I didn't know who I kissed that night?" Tears welled up in Ellen's eyes, but she refused to wipe them away or look away.
"I wanted to be someone else with you. I cared about you. I was worried as hell during the last two months." Ellen was trembling with her fists clenched tightly. "Obviously, for nothing, because you're standing in front of me as a victim?"
"No," she breathed. "I am not a victim, Ellen. Far from that. I accepted to participate in this mission. It's on me. But I want you to know the truth. Because I love you."
"Fuck you, Roxanne," she snapped. "You turned my life into a spy fiction. In what way is that a romantic gesture?"
She flinched as if Ellen hit her. But Ellen didn't care.
"Ellen—"
"Don't. You don't get to say my name ever again," she added.
Ellen stepped away from the table. Every part of her was on fire. Roxanne followed, taking a single step. "Don't move," Ellen said again, sharper this time.
"Please, listen to me," Roxy begged. "You changed me. You made me realize who I am. I want something real with you."
"I thought we had something special. How could you believe I'll ever trust a word you say again, Roxanne? If it's your real name."
Ellen walked past Roxanne. Her heart was shattered; a fire raged within her, yet her demeanour was frigid. With one, two, and three steps, she felt her sisters and Blake watching. Four and five steps later, Ellen stopped halfway to the door but didn't look back. "Don't contact me again, ever."
"Yes!" she said quickly, almost as if gasping or reflexively. Ellen paused, taken aback by her audacity to speak again. "Roxanne…" Her voice cracked badly. "It's my real name."
Ellen didn't respond. She just closed her eyes for a few seconds and kept walking out the door into the night.
***
Ellen rushed out of the Baxter and into the bustling heart of Sydney's CDB, the city still alive with activity even at this hour.
Seriously, what was she thinking? How could any of this bring her even an iota of peace? Ignorance might have been a more comfortable state for her than facing this stark and painful truth.
They infiltrated her. Lied to. Used. For what? Who would benefit at all from this?
She couldn't say. In her rage, she completely forgot to ask her the reason behind her actions.
Ellen remembered Roxy introducing herself as a fixer when they first met. "My clients present me with their problems, and I neutralize them—permanently," she said.
Was that meant to imply she was a threat that needed to be eliminated? An icy wave washed over her at the mere thought.
The door creaked open, revealing Taylor, who emerged and enveloped Ellen in a warm embrace. She could clearly sense the deep sorrow and the sting of betrayal that Ellen held within. It was written all over her eyes.
Ellen, glancing sideways, observed Jess practically vibrating with impatience.
Driven by fierce protectiveness for her sister, Ellen could easily say that Jess felt an overwhelming urge to return inside and give Roxanne a piece of her mind.
Luckily, Blake was there to stop her. Ellen was already dealing with enough public humiliation.
"Okay, time to head home," Taylor said gently, guiding Ellen, who was shaky from crying, to the car.
They headed out in silence, and then Jess talked. "We can talk about what happened if you'd like."
Ellen shook her head and said, "No." Still, the burden felt impossibly heavy. "I've been completely fooled."
Taylor took her eyes off the road and stared at Ellen, baffled. Ellen then spoke up. "She's a spy."
Taylor, exuding Olympian serenity, engaged her indicator and gently guided her car to the left side of the road. With a slight tremble, she turned to Ellen, her lip pressed between her teeth. "Hold on, what?" she exclaimed, a note of disbelief in her voice.
"She's an MI6 operative."
"Like Bond's MI6?" Jess asked. Ellen gave a single nod.
"And why you, in particular?" Blake asked.
That was a brilliant question. Why did the United Kingdom take an interest in her? With a sheepish turn, Ellen responded, her voice tinged with shame, "I can't say. I didn't ask. I was too pissed off."
Taylor chuckled briefly. "Fuck! My experience with girls was seemingly complete until now," she declared. "You're really next level, Twinie."
Ellen tried to smile, but it cracked on the way out. "She said I helped her understand who she is, that she was in love with me, and she was gay. How wonderful, right?"
Jess leaned forward again, elbows on the console. "Does that change anything?
"Maybe," Ellen whispered. She paused, and then added, "It's Caroline all over again—another woman who wasn't here for the right reasons."
"I'm not trying to defend her, but Caroline would rather lie than lose everything. Roxy, on the other hand..."
"Roxanne, please," Ellen interrupted. "I can't hear the name 'Roxy' anymore."
Taylor reached across and placed her hand over hers. "So, Roxanne would rather risk losing everything than lie to you. I'm pretty sure she could go to jail for that, right?"
She exhaled slowly and leaned her head against the window, closing her eyes and taking shallow breaths.
Taylor started the car again and pulled back into traffic. "The MI6," she muttered under her breath.