Chapter Sixteen
Had he heard Cody right? Cass had punched him in the face because he was gay?
When TJ had come clean to his parents, Toni had actually gone with him.
She’d said it would show his parents that she was fine with it.
They had taken it well. Shocked, but they’d handled it well.
They hugged him and told him they loved him no matter what.
He knew how lucky he was, but he’d never suspected it had been this bad for Cody.
Cody leaned his head on TJ’s shoulder, but TJ moved him away. He saw the flash of hurt on Cody’s face and shook his head. “Come here and tell me everything.”
He lay down and pointed to his chest and Cody smiled, then kissed him before laying his head on TJ’s chest. “I’d been trying to figure out how to tell them.
You know it was you that made me think I was gay?
You’d come over with Toni and Carter and the boys.
I think Toni and Carter hadn’t been dating long.
I can’t remember whether I was fourteen or fifteen then.
But I saw you come in and you had longer hair, all bleached blond by the sun.
You had this pale blue shirt on with dark jeans.
You walked past and I couldn’t stop looking at you. ”
He vaguely remembered the day. It was the day he met Carter’s brother and his family. TJ ran his fingers over Cody’s hair and said, “Go on.”
“You were beautiful to me. So strong, and you smiled at me. I remember Toni laughing at something you said, Carter grinning, and you two tapped your beers together. I always liked how strong the three of you are. I thought it was strange. You’re there with your ex-wife and her partner, but I saw how you all were together. ”
“We’re lucky, but we worked at it as well. The kids come first, always.”
“And now you look after Macy, even though she isn’t yours.”
“But she’s my boys’ sister. I won’t treat her differently because she isn’t biologically mine. She calls me papa.”
Cody lifted his head and made an O with his mouth. “Wow.”
“I looked at Carter and he shrugged. Said we’d deal with it when she’s older.
I guess it helps that I’ve known Carter for years and when me and Toni broke up, I knew they would be good together.
I wanted her to be happy. I’d broken up our family, but she was amazing. I’m really happy they’re together.”
Cody kissed him, then settled back on TJ’s chest. “Cass made comments about you being gay and breaking up a family, but Carter shut him down. He stood up for you and Cass backed down.” Sighing, Cody muttered, “I wish Cass had been better with me.”
TJ ran his hands up and down Cody’s back, feeling the scars. “Carry on.”
“I hid upstairs after meeting you. Spied through the window watching you.” Cody sighed, his fingers rubbing TJ’s chest, and TJ lifted Cody’s hand, kissed it.
“I told him in his office. It took me so long to work up the courage to tell him. I’d had a drink beforehand, a habit that grew.
We both know how much I drank back then.
I told him, whispered it really, and he glared at me.
The next thing I know I’m on the floor and my face hurt.
He stood over me, this look of fury on his face, his hand clenched into a fist, the knuckles white with how tight his hand was. I was so fucking scared.”
TJ could hear the tremor in Cody’s voice and wrapped him in his arms. “I’ve got you.”
“He called me names, then kicked me. Screamed at me to shut the fuck up about that and that if I was going to be like that, then I had to get the fuck out of his house. I cried and said I wouldn’t be, and I’d do anything to be straight.
That seemed to calm him, and I crawled away, then ran to my bedroom.
That was when I began drinking and doing drugs to numb everything and try to hide from what I was.
It got too much, so I went to that bar because I wasn’t really gay, and you know the rest.”
“You should have come to me. I would have helped you.”
“I wanted you back then, TJ. No way could I speak to you about being gay.”
“Cody…” TJ hugged him tight. “I wish you had come to me. I know why you didn’t, but…” TJ closed his eyes and held Cody tight. “Did Cass ever speak to you about what happened in his office?”
“No, but he would ask what girl I was dating, or he’d start fights.
He could see what I was doing to myself.
You all could. You told me one day I could always talk to you, but I couldn’t, and then one day I blurted it out that I was gay.
You weren’t there when I did. I can’t really remember.
I was off my head on something, and I said it in front of everyone. ”
“Carter called me after it happened. Asked what he could do to help. Cass got worse, didn’t he?
I could see how dismissive he was of you, how he neglected you, but he’d said he’d adapted to it, and everything would be fine.
Carter tried to talk to him, but it got nowhere.
I warned them you were spiraling, and you needed therapy, but I got told to back off. I wasn’t family.”
“When I stayed with you… That was the first time I felt safe, but I couldn’t stop doing what I’d been doing.”
“You kissed me.” Stumbling drunk, Cody had kissed him, and he gently moved him away. “Was that why you ran? Because I said no?”
“Maybe a little, but it was everything else too. Your rejection… I couldn’t handle it. I look back and know you did the right thing, but back then it hurt because no one wanted me. Even you.”
“Fuck Cody, I’m so fucking sorry.” TJ’s eyes filled, his throat scratchy. God, why hadn’t he done more when Cody had been living with him?
“No, don’t be. I was a mess. I needed to leave.
” Cody’s fingers moved over TJ’s skin. “I needed to go through everything I did. I don’t think I would be alive otherwise.
” Cody lifted his head and kissed TJ. “It has always been you for me. From the moment I saw you, I have been yours.” TJ shook his head and went to speak, but Cody put a finger over his lips.
“No. You don’t get to tell me my feelings.
I know how I feel now and how I felt then. ”
Cody leaned down and kissed him, and TJ held him, letting their tongues play together. He spread his legs so Cody could settle between them, moaning softly when he felt Cody’s erection slide along his own. How could he be hard after the conversation they’d just had?
“I want you, TJ. I want to fuck you. Let me.” Cody kissed along TJ’s lips, his hips thrusting on TJ’s, and TJ shuddered, unable to stop his body reacting. How could he affect TJ so much? “Please.”
“Yes.” TJ pulled Cody back to his lips, and they both groaned. “Take me, Cody.”
“I get tested all the time. I want to… one day… would you let me?” Cody paused, waiting to see how TJ would react.
TJ paused. “You mean no condoms? I’ve never done that with a man.”
“Would you? One day?”
Having sex without protection? Huge commitment, but this was Cody, so… “Yes.”
Cody trembled above him and kissed him harder, his tongue licking and sucking TJ’s, nibbling and biting, and TJ gripped Cody tighter, his arousal building.
This boy, no, man, had him harder than TJ thought possible, but he lacked experience in comparison to Cody.
He’d slept with two men since coming out, whereas Cody…
“I want you so much. I’ve always wanted you.
” Cody kissed him again, and TJ surrendered to Cody and the passion he made TJ feel.
Wrapping his legs around Cody’s, he arched up and moaned, sliding his dick alongside Cody.
Cody mimicked the move and soon they were thrusting together, deep kisses filled with passion and heat, and when Cody lifted his head and stared down into TJ’s eyes, TJ reached up and palmed his face.
The love Cody felt for him shone brightly, and TJ pulled Cody back down, kissing him, murmuring his name.
Cody moved down TJ’s body and lapped at the head of his dick.
TJ knew where this was heading and tossed a condom down to him.
Cody grinned, his black hair falling over his forehead, then sucked TJ’s dick, causing TJ to cry out and grab Cody’s hair.
“Shit, Cody!” Cody hummed and swallowed around TJ’s cock, causing TJ to groan.
Licking and sucking, Cody suddenly moved up the bed.
“I want to eat your ass again, TJ. Not right now, because I have to fuck you again.” One quick hard kiss, then Cody moved back over TJ’s dick, taking him deep before sliding back up.
TJ hissed when something cold touched his ass, then a finger breached him and he spread his legs wider, murmuring Cody’s name when he pushed another finger inside TJ’s ass.
“I don’t need more.”
Cody sat up and rolled the condom on, then moved into position.
He stared into TJ’s eyes as he pushed inside, then lay over him, kissing along his jaw until he sucked on TJ’s bottom lip.
TJ gasped, his body heating up, his ass stretched around Cody, and he gripped Cody’s ass, moving with him.
The kisses and touches and Cody hitting his prostate with every thrust had TJ arching back, his mouth falling open.
His ass pulsed, clenched around Cody, and he heard Cody moan as he jerked and then he was coming.
His body shaking, falling apart, as a tsunami of pleasure flowed over him, washing him away.
Soft kisses on his face made TJ open his eyes, and he saw the soft smile on Cody’s face. “That sounded like one hell of an orgasm.”
“Give me a minute.” When he had recovered, TJ mumbled, “You know that thing you mentioned… you know what you wanted to do… er, to my ass. Well, so, I’ve kinda never done it or had it done. I’ve only been with two guys, and one didn’t like it and the other, well, we just didn’t. So, er yeah.”
Cody grinned. “TJ. Are you embarrassed to admit you’ve never had someone rim your ass?”
“Oh fuck off.” TJ glared at Cody when he burst out laughing, then grimaced when he slipped out of TJ’s ass. “Never letting you know about that again.”
“Look, TJ. We both know I’ve slept around. I’ve lost count of them all. They were nameless, faceless men who numbed the pain and hatred I felt. I wish life had been different, but here we are now. I like that I get to do these things first with you. I want to do everything with you.”
“Because you love me.” TJ stared in wonder at this man who had overcome so much, but loved him. TJ.
“Yeah, and because you’re hot as fuck and you make my dick ache.” Cody arched an eyebrow. “Does that sound like a twenty-year-old? Huh? Huh? Gonna fuck you—”
“Stop.” TJ rolled his eyes when Cody laughed again. “You’re making fun of me.”
“A little, but you look so adorable…” Cody laughed again when TJ pushed him off.
Cody rolled back and held TJ down, the laughter disappearing.
“I love you so much. I don’t care about our families.
I don’t care about our age gap. It all means fuck all to me.
I care about you and only you, and I will keep saying it until you realize I’m speaking the truth. ”
“I do know.” TJ wriggled and Cody moved to one side.
“And I’ve admitted it might take me some time to get used to this, so give me a bit of a break.
I’m not as experienced as you. You’ve done things I probably don’t even know exist, and it does make me feel stupid, I guess.
Na?ve, maybe because you know so much more than I do. I’m older. I should guide you.”
“You’re there for everyone, TJ. Let me be there for you. I’ll show you everything you need to know. I can’t wait to do them with you.”
TJ sighed, then closed his eyes when Cody kissed him. If Cody wanted to show him, then TJ would let him.