Landon #3
He sounds so angry, so turned on, that I can’t seem to mind my manners as I buck my hips into his, saying, “It makes no difference to me, baby. Call yourself whatever you want. Boyfriend, best friend—fuck, I’ll call you Daddy if that’ll get you hard.
As long as you’re not putting your cock in someone else, I don’t care what label we use. ”
Julian keeps adding pressure to my throat, building my own desire. A fun secret about me? I love it rough.
“I’ll fuck whoever I please, whenever I please. Whether that’s Cassie, you, or all of the Port Orford population.” He’s seething, panting against me. Just how I want him.
I snake my hand around his hip, gripping his ass so tight it pulls a low, rough sound from Julian’s throat that sends me soaring.
“God, I missed the way you sound,” I praise. “Do it again.”
I slide my hand into the back of his jeans, eating up every soft mewl, every groan, every puff of his chest as I rub my finger over his tight hole.
No one has fucked Julian in a long time; this I can tell.
And as the countdown starts, I continue to tease it, breathing in the delicious smell of him and the anger still simmering in his eyes. Then, as the countdown ends and the new year is announced, I take his lips with mine.
It’s a bruising, punishing kiss. One in which I show him exactly how it feels to be me, watching his hands on someone else. How much I’ve missed him.
As my tongue slips into his mouth, feeling him open up to me so willingly as if I’m his next breath of clean air, I groan. I eat him alive. I tear him to fucking shreds with my hands, my lips, my tongue.
Julian is rubbing his dick against mine, then pushing back beautifully on my teasing finger—basically begging for me to take him.
“Lan,” he moans, flinching as my teeth nibble at his ear.
I love being this close to him. It feeds something obsessive and possessive inside of me.
“Mhm,” I hum once more, “I hear you, Julie. You want me?”
“Yes.” He nods frantically.
Fuck yes. Of course he does. I was the first person Julie ever touched. The first person he fucked or got fucked by. I am number one, and I have come to claim my prize.
“You want me to fuck you?” I tease. “Just like the old days? Or do you want to fuck me? Should we fight about who gets to top like we did in high school?”
“I don’t care who tops,” he growls, “just do something!”
A small chuckle leaves me as I nose his throat, feeling that warm desire build up inside me impossibly further with each word, each buck of his hips.
“Okay, I’ll make you come. But first—” I grab his chin, forcing those big brown eyes to focus on me. “Tell me you aren’t going to fuck that girl.”
I want to hear it. I need to hear it.
“Huh?” Julian mutters, his eyes falling from mine to stare longingly at my lips.
“Say it, Julian,” I demand. “Tell me you won’t fuck her.”
Say that you love me.
I pushed too hard. I got greedy listening to the sound of his moans, feeling his body pressed to mine. I can’t help it; I’ve always gotten what I want.
This is driving me crazy.
Julian’s eyes sober, panting heavily as he rips from my hold and takes a few steps backward.
Fuck. I can see the fear, the panic in his gaze. He’s backing out—running from me once again.
“Julie?” I placate, taking a hesitant step forward. “Forget it, okay? You don’t have to say anything. Just come here.”
To be fair, I absolutely do need him to agree to not fucking someone else. But it can wait. It can so wait. I just need him back in my arms, where he belongs, right this second, or I might freak out.
“Lan,” Julian starts, swallowing roughly. “I’m so sorry. This isn’t fair to you; you want more than I can give you, and I shouldn’t take advantage of that. Let’s just forget about it, okay?”
You want more than I can give you.
… What? He’s all but… all but saying he doesn’t love me.
I’m going to throw up.
“W-what?” I let loose a startled, panicked laugh. “No! I won’t forget anything. Not with you. I love you, Julian. I know you think that you only love me as a friend, but after all of these years, there has to—”
“I’m sorry, Landon. I really am. I wish I could be that person for you. I really do.” Julian shoves past me, yanking the door open. But no, I can’t let things stop here. I won’t; I refuse.
His bicep is in my grip within seconds, my heart sinking so quickly I’m dizzy with it.
“Please,” I hear myself whisper. I have never been made to beg before. I’m not sure how to handle it. “I could make you, you know. I could make you fall in love with me. I won’t do it—I wouldn’t be able to stomach it. But I could. So just…please.”
I’m not sure why I’m admitting this; why I’m alluding to a gift he knows nothing about—that he can’t know anything about. But I’m desperate; I need him to understand what he’s giving up, and how, if I were even slightly less of a man, I’d get what I want, whether he truly likes it or not.
“I can’t,” Julian tells me, soft and sad.
Then he’s gone.
And in his absence, I feel the darkness creep in. With each panting breath that leaves me, I inhale more of that devastating misery that I’ve grown so comfortable existing with.
Only this time, it’s not a pain I can stomach.