Chapter Twenty-Six
Yun
The sun was high, and while sweat beaded on my forehead, while it ran down my back and caused my shirt to cling to my skin, none of it bothered me. In fact, I found it almost charming, like the heat felt nice instead of a bothersome thing to endure.
In fact, everything seemed brighter.
The reason was clear enough—my conversation with Shear the night before.
I’d let it all out I finally felt far enough from it to actually tell the story.
Kaidan knew, from panic attacks where I’d blurted out facts, but they’d been mixed up, broken, confused. This time I’d been able to get through it all at once, to explain it in order.
I’d had ten years to think about it, to consider it all, to go over every detail in my head, between the nightmares and the flashbacks. I wouldn’t say I had a better handle on it, but it at least didn’t have the same grip on me that it used to.
I’d always heard that sharing trauma helped, that allowing others to carry some of it made a person feel better, and I’d never believed it.
I’d expected censure, distrust, hatred. I’d known the Guild would want to exploit me, thought any squad would see me as defective, so the fact that I’d unloaded that entire story only to fall asleep there, beside Shear, felt like a gift I’d never expected nor deserved.
“Ms. Moore.”
The sudden voice of the last person I wanted to see had me slowing my steps.
“I believe I made it clear that I have nothing to say to you, Mr. Yorn.” I didn’t bother to even turn back to face him, wanting to make it clear how little a damn I gave about him.
“Yes, but that doesn’t change anything. Whether you wish to give in now or later, you will still give in.”
The words he chose, the cadence of his speech, it felt familiar. I’d noticed it last time, too, but then I’d been surrounded by others speaking. This time I heard it more clearly.
He sounded like Shear…
Or, due to their ages and the obvious power dynamic, Shear sounded like Mr. Yorn. Given that Shear had spent his childhood at Obsidian, and Mr. Yorn had worked there, it seemed they’d spent some time together.
It put me on edge, like I faced off against an enemy, someone who had hurt someone I’d cared about. I recalled the way Shear reacted about Obsidian, and it made me want to bare my own teeth and keep this man far away from Shear.
“As I already said—you can’t break the contract between my squad and myself, so there’s really nothing you can do.”
He tilted his head. “Did you know that I can call Shear back?”
I froze. “What?”
“Shear. He’s an adult, under the control of the Guild, now, but if I put in paperwork, deeming his condition to be unstable, he can be recalled to Obsidian for ongoing study and training.”
I closed my hands into fists but stayed still. Punching him would feel good, but it wouldn’t actually help.
“Also,” he went on, “I have connections to command, who decide the placement of squads. It would be rather easy to put them on the front lines, to send them into dungeons they won’t return from. I am fairly sure that death will void that contract as well, won’t it?”
My stomach felt empty, yet it rolled all the same, making me worry I’d throw up the food Kenyon had cooked that morning. I recalled the way we’d said our goodbyes at the trailer after eating and discussing our plans.
Carter and Ingram had a training session with another squad, while Shear was supposed to go into town and help the police with another case. Kenyon would go with Shear—probably out of boredom. I’d told them I planned to get a workout in.
I hadn’t liked the drill sergeant, but I knew that general fitness would probably benefit me.
We’d planned to meet up for dinner at the end of the day, like a real relationship, like a family. It had all seemed so lovely that morning, like a future and life I’d always wanted, one I hadn’t had since The Pitt had torn it all away.
And yet here Mr. Yorn was, threatening it all so casually.
“Why should I believe you?” I asked.
“You already do. Feel free to ask Shear if you question my resolve or ability. I am not a man to lie or bluff, after all.”
“Aren’t you going to tell me to keep this quiet? I mean, you may not know the others, but Carter and Ingram won’t take a threat to me lightly.”
“You won’t tell them about this, because you know what will happen to them if they come after me.
Espers attacking a civilian? One who works with the Guild?
Their reputation and registration was hardly holding on at all, but if they did that?
They will find themselves locked up in a place with no key, no exit, and I suppose if that happens, your contract will also become void. ”
“And you’ll be dead.”
“It is almost adorable that you are so na?ve as to think they would succeed. I guarantee I have more protections than you can imagine. This isn’t a fight you can win, Ms. Moore.
You simply have two options. Work with me and those you care about will remain safe, or have them removed and then work with me. ”
I met his gaze, trying to size him up, to decide how serious he was. One look into his eyes told me the truth—he believed it.
Did that mean he could do as he said? That I didn’t know, but he thought it was true.
“I can’t just break the contract,” I argued. “Even if I tried, they’d never accept it, and with The Pitt coming up…” I couldn’t let them face that without me to guide them.
Mr. Yorn smiled, an expression that said he enjoyed winning.
“Understood. Sometimes such things need to happen quietly, carefully. Fair points made. Then you will submit to testing here, privately, and be allowed to remain with your squad until after The Pitt resolves. At that time, we can formulate an exit strategy for you, assuming the testing results make the effort worthwhile.”
I nodded even as I hated it. Just that morning I’d thought about our future, about what we could do, with a rare spark of hope.
I should have known better than to trust in anything. Happy endings were for better people, for those who hadn’t already had the world break them. Whether it was a dungeon, or The Pitt, or a monster, or him, or Mr. Yorn, something was always going to be there to end me.
And for the first time I resented it all.