Chapter 59
Fifty-Nine
S ybil
The scent of the antiseptic stings my nose, and the thin sheets feel all wrong. My forehead throbs in time with my heartbeat, the pain dulled by the treatment I’ve received over the last few hours.
I hate hospitals. Hospitals felt safe to me until they couldn’t save someone I loved, and I wonder if Cooper hates being here as much as I do. Is he thinking about his mom? Or maybe losing his leg? He didn’t have to come with me, but he did.
Cooper demanded the best plastic surgeon on call look at the cut instead of the general surgeon. Luckily, it’s not deep enough to need more than typical wound care, but the bruise that blossomed around the cut and the accompanying pain prompted further testing. I got lucky. No concussion.
We’re waiting for the discharge nurse to sign me out so we can go home. Cooper sits in the chair beside me, his elbows resting on his knees, his hands clasped in a tight lock. His eyes are hard, and his mouth is set in a thin line.
“I’m fine,” I reiterate for what feels like the thousandth time. The lie is heavy as it leaves my mouth. “No stitches. I’m all fixed up with glue and the bandage. I’ll be okay. I am okay.”
Coop’s gaze flicks to my forehead, eyes narrowing. “Sybil, you were attacked. That fucker could have…” His voice trails off, his face punctuated by a haunted look.
We’re both imagining the same thing. What if that guy had a weapon on him? What if Cooper hadn’t pulled him off me when he did? We filed a police report, but there’s not much else we can do.
Cooper shakes his head, running his hands through his already disheveled hair. “I should’ve been there with you. If not for my fucking leg, I?—”
“Stop,” I cut him off. “This is not your fault. It’s an awful thing that happened, but it’s over now, okay?”
He heaves out a long sigh, and I know he doesn’t want to stop blaming himself, making my chest feel like it’s being ripped open. It’s not my head that hurts—it’s the possibility that my heart might not be able to survive this relationship if we don’t work out in the end.
When I was on that cold hard ground, it was Cooper I wanted, Cooper I thought about. I needed him in ways I didn’t think my heart could need anyone.
I’m in love with him.
“I think we should hire private security for you,” he blurts, and I balk, immediately hating the idea.
“This was a fluke thing, Cooper.”
“What if it’s not?”
“Don’t say that.”
His brows furrow, and he pauses as if considering his words carefully. “There have been times when your dad hired security for your family, right? Maybe we should hire some again.”
I swallow hard, considering his offer. “I mean, yeah, Dad hired security a few times, but only when we were getting active death threats over things happening with Laurence. Nothing like that has happened in years. Our family keeps things pretty private, and I’ve never needed a personal bodyguard.”
“It would make me feel better, and wouldn’t it make you feel safer?”
He’s being a little ridiculous. It would be one thing if we were stars on the show, but what happened was unfortunately me being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It could’ve happened to anyone.
I shake my head. “Private security would make me feel weird, like I have something to fear, and I don’t. You know how much I value my privacy. I don’t want some random dude following me around.”
I can tell he wants to argue, but he holds it in, thank goodness.
“How about you be my bodyguard for now, and if something else happens, or if I get a weird feeling about my safety, I’ll hire a professional?”
He doesn’t like it, but he agrees with a curt nod.
Suddenly, tears well up in my eyes again. I hate this so fucking much. What was supposed to be a dazzling night of celebration has turned into a nightmare.
I glance at my fingers as they squeeze the thin sheet over my legs. Closing my eyes for a moment, I command myself not to cry, promising I’m going to be okay.
Cooper’s chair screeches across the linoleum as he scoots closer, covering my hand with his own and sending calming warmth through my body. He’s grounding in a way nobody and nothing else is.
He kisses my temple below the cut, then he whispers into my ear, “Just so you’re clear, what happened is not your fault, either.”
My mouth pops open, and I let out a choking sob. “I-I know that… but it still feels like it is. Where was my sense of self-preservation? I should’ve handed over the damn purse, but it all happened so fast.”
I blink, momentarily dazed by the intensity of Cooper’s gaze.
“You did nothing wrong.”
“I feel stupid,” I confess.
“Don’t.” His grip on my hand tightens, and the pain in his eyes sharpens. “You don’t blame yourself, and I won’t blame myself. Deal?”
I nod. “Deal.”
“That guy was a coward, but you’re the bravest person I know.”
The lump in my throat swells. What did I do to deserve this man? He’s the most remarkable person and an incredible boyfriend, lover, and friend. He’s showing up as the partner I’ve wanted but didn’t believe existed for a type-A control freak like me.
I want to kick myself for not seeing this potential in him before.
What if it had been me and him in college instead of me and Ethan?
Would we have worked out? It’s hard to know…
so much has changed, but I want to believe we would’ve found a way to make it work.
How I felt for Ethan pales in comparison to how I feel for Cooper.
Ethan was like the sunset—beautiful and vibrant but fades fast. Cooper is the sunset, sunrise, sunshine, moonlight, and everything in between. He’s every source of light. I’ll never be in darkness again.
“You think I’m brave, huh?” I joke, trying to lighten the mood.
“Yes,” he says simply, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’ve been through so much, more than most people will ever have to go through, and you’ve not let it break you. You always come out stronger.”
“I could say the same thing about you.”
He stares at me for a long moment, the energy between us charging. My pulse quickens, and his thumb brushes over my knuckles.
“I love you,” he says.
Those three little words are so big… big enough to change everything.
“Maybe this isn’t the best time to say it,” he says, hanging his head but keeping our eyes locked.
“But I can’t not say it, not anymore. I love you, Sybil.
I have loved you for as long as I can remember, and I will love you until I cease to exist. Loving you is a part of me that can never be removed. ”
My body buzzes, happiness squashing fear until all I can feel is joy and gratitude.
“I love you, too.”
He lets out a breathy sigh, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips, his mouth lingering against mine.
“Say it again?” he whispers.
“I love you, Cooper.”
He grins. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you to say that to me.”
“Oh, really?” I tease.
He nods against my forehead. “I’ve kind of had a crush on you since we were kids.”
“Only kind of?”
“Okay, more than a crush.”
We kiss again, and I feel safer than I have in as long as I can remember. This is right and good and inevitable and meant to be. Now that I’ve got him, I’m never going to let him go.