Chapter 2 #2
She purses her lips and ignores me. “Anything new with you?” she asks Robbie.
I quickly point at him. “Don’t answer that.” Because I know the first words out of his mouth will have something to do with his newfound love of dicks—in the most crass way possible.
“What?” he asks innocently.
“Nuh-uh, man.”
Jenny leans forward, smelling gossip. “What is it?”
“Can’t say.” Robbie mimes locking his lips, stare trained mockingly on me.
Fuck it. She wants to know. I wave at him to go right ahead.
“None of my brothers will let me touch their cock.”
And there it is. I cringe. “Dude, considering you have actual brothers, you probably shouldn’t say shit like that too loud.”
They both ignore me.
“You’re into that?” Jenny asks.
“Dunno. No one will take one for the team.”
“It’s not for the team when it’s literally only you who has an endgame,” I point out.
They both ignore me again.
“Good for you,” Jenny says.
“What?”
“What?” Robbie’s laugh is so loud it travels over the music. “You’re cool with it?”
“We’re in college,” she says like it should be obvious. “I think everyone should figure out what they like.”
“Exactly. I think I could be into it, but it’s not like I can test my theory out solo.”
“So you’re experimenting?”
“Nope. I wanna be experimenting.”
She tilts her head, thinking. “You know … I think you’re jumping ahead.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you’re assuming you need to touch a dick, but doesn’t kissing come first?”
“Yeah, but I can do that shit in my sleep.”
“With a girl, maybe. I’ve kissed some of my sorority sisters, and it’s a whole different experience.”
“Huh.” Robbie cocks his head like he’s actually thinking about it. Then his eyes flick to me. “What do you say?”
Oh, fuck. “About?”
“Kissing?”
“With … you?”
“Duh.” He exchanges a look with Jenny like I’m the one not making sense.
And just as I’m about to tell him to fuck right off out of here, Jenny leans forward and squeezes my arm.
“Come on, Brandy, live a little.”
It’s not her words that pull me up short but the way she says them. Like it’s something I’d actually consider. Kissing. With Robbie.
No way … but my gaze drops to his lips and the way they’re stretched tauntingly. He doesn’t think I will. He doesn’t think I’ll even stop to think about it, and he’d be right, but … what was I saying about wanting to have fun?
I cringe. “I don’t know …”
Robbie latches onto my hesitation, and suddenly, he doesn’t look so smug. “Shit, really? Come on. Just a quick one.”
“I …”
“She’s right. You need to live a little, Brando. It’s college—everyone experiments.”
“No, they fucking don’t.” But now it’s in my head, I am curious. I know I’m straight, and I doubt I’ll enjoy it, but hell, this could be my only chance to actually kiss a guy to know what it feels like. Something for the bucket list, I guess.
I finally pull my attention away from Robbie and back to my girlfriend. “You don’t care?”
“No way. I’m a cool girlfriend. It’s fine.”
And clearly for her, me doing this has something to do with her image … somehow. I don’t get it.
“It’s fine,” she says again. “Stop overthinking and do it.”
Do it. Just … do it.
How’s this for living?
I close a hand around the back of Robbie’s neck and tug him into a kiss.
It’s … awkward. His mouth feels harder somehow, and even slamming my eyes closed doesn’t help me forget it’s him when his stubble is scraping my skin.
I give it a second, then two. I’m about to write the whole experience off as a fail when Robbie’s large hand cups my jaw and tilts my head back before he pushes his tongue past my lips.
It’s so unexpected I immediately gasp, breathing in hot air and warmth. His tongue strokes mine, slowly, cautiously at first, and as though figuring out he likes it, he lets go.
He surges forward, pressing me into the couch and kissing me with purpose.
I can barely keep up with his mouth and the force he’s kissing me with, but I do my best to hold my ground.
He makes it almost impossible though, and I’m quickly being swept up in how good his mouth feels on mine.
My hands are balled in his stupid knit sweater, one of his thighs is half over mine, and he towers over me, big hand holding my jaw as he controls the kiss completely.
And I submit. Give in. Let him take what he wants. The power in his body is new and different, and the unwanted sound that leaves me makes me think … I don’t hate it.
“Wow.”
Jenny’s voice is like a bucket of cold water, and Robbie jerks away.
The party snaps back into focus, and I’m struggling to catch my breath and work out what the hell just happened. I glance around like I’m lost, but even though it feels like the entire world has been rearranged out of comprehension, no one is paying us any attention.
“Huh, right, well,” Robbie says, not meeting my eyes. “Good talk.” Then he stands abruptly and walks away, but not before I catch sight of the hard outline of his cock.
And mine is in exactly the same state.
I can’t pin down a thought in my mind, and by the time the party wraps up, my head is still spinning. When Jenny and I go upstairs to my room and she ducks into the bathroom down the hall, I do something I’ve never done before.
I roll onto my side and fake sleep.