Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Brandon
By an unspoken agreement, Robbie and I don’t talk about the kiss. Or the, umm, ones that came after. Or the way they made us both hard and I definitely sort of want to try it again.
Which is terrifying.
I’ve never considered being with a man, and then here comes Robbie acting like the whole thing is so easy, it’s gotten into my head.
Because I think I believe it.
None of our friends are homophobic asswipes—Chad did the hard work there—and sure, my parents might be taken by surprise, but they’re not the type to make a huge deal out of it, and—wait.
Whoa.
Those thoughts took a detour.
How did I get from experimenting with my pain-in-the-ass frat brother to, what, coming out? What would I even say? Mom, Dad, there’s a guy in my frat who could probably bench-press me, and when we kiss, I get confused. My girlfriend? Oh, don’t worry about her, she’s totally fine with it.
Even in my head, the whole mess sounds idiotic.
Instead of focusing on what’s going on with me, I throw myself into my risk manager duties and finalizing my last assignment of the year.
With only six months left of college, you’d assume I’d be more prepared for it to end than I am, but I keep being hit with these melancholy moods.
Grad school is on the cards for me, but do I want to hang around here when nothing will be the same?
The brothers I’ve had by my side since the start, who I rushed with, partied with, helped out with coursework, and listened to their problems, all of them will be gone.
Some of the junior guys are cool, but it’s not the same. We have a bond, but it’s not airtight. Not the way I am with Chad, Zeke, Robbie, and some of the others.
“Blakely, there you are.”
I glance up from where I’ve been hiding and find a dude from Gamma house called Martin approaching.
He’s one of Jenny’s friends who I can’t stand.
I might have managed to avoid him at the party last weekend, but he’s got me now.
We’re two of only four guys whipped enough to have come to yet another sorority tea party.
Most guys get wind and make sure they pick up shifts these days as a way to get out of it, but I don’t work, and with football season over, all my excuses are weak.
“Heard you got up to some fun last weekend?”
Great. Yes. This is exactly what I want to be talking to Martin about. His lips are pulled into a sneer, showing off his chemically whitened teeth that look horrible with his spray tan. Even in winter, he’s wearing a polo shirt with a popped collar.
I joke about Robbie being a douche, but his stems from obliviousness and the want to have fun. Martin and his friends are manufactured douchery, which makes them the actual worst thing to happen to Greek life.
“No more fun than anyone else,” I answer as dryly as I’m able.
He chuckles in a practiced, cringy way. “My father says everyone experiments in college, so no judgment from me. It’s definitely not my taste, but to each their own.”
This must be the seventh circle of hell. Small talk on a topic you’re trying not to think about with someone who you have to pretend to like even when they get on your last nerve.
WWRD. What would Robbie do?
If flipping him off and leaving isn’t an option, he’d make things as uncomfortable for the other person as possible, so they leave.
I wink at Martin. “You’re missing out.”
“My girl has everything I need.”
“Oh, yeah, mine too,” I hurry to say because I don’t want shit to get back to Jenny. “But kissing a guy … you haven’t lived until you’ve tried it.”
Instead of getting uncomfortable and leaving though, Martin takes a step closer and ducks his head. “Oh yeah? What’s so different?”
“Everything and nothing. If you want to find out, you’ll have to try it for yourself.”
He thinks for a moment. “Let’s go ask the girls.”
“What?”
“Well, Jenny lets you hook up if she’s there, right? I bet Jodie will be the same.”
I take a step back. “I thought that wasn’t your taste?”
“You’ve convinced me.” He gives me a smug smile like I should be proud of that or some shit.
I shake my head. “Yeah, I’ll pass.”
“Why? You have no issues sticking your tongue down the throat of that loudmouthed barbarian.”
“He also happens to be one of my best friends.”
Martin’s face bunches up. “I thought you two hated each other.”
That’s news to me. “Who the hell said that?”
“You’re always fighting.”
“They’re discussions.” I scowl. Sure, we argue a lot, but it’s how we communicate. That doesn’t mean we hate each other. I mean, who could hate Robbie? He has the biggest heart of anyone I know. Except maybe Chad.
“So, what? You two exclusive on the weekends, and you bang Jenny through the week? Is that how it works?”
“Fuck you.”
“Is it the whole if you’re drinking when you do it, it doesn’t make it gay?”
“I wasn’t drinking the first time, and I was barely buzzed the second. Are you seriously annoyed I won’t hook up with you? Get the fuck out of here with that shit.”
He gives me a nasty look. “Maybe it’s more than an experiment. Maybe you two are fucking around behind Jenny’s back.”
“I dare you to start shit.”
He holds up his hands. “Nah, Blakely, we’re good here. Just making sure, brother.”
I’m about to tell him he’s not my goddamn brother when a group of sorority girls enters, and Jenny is with them.
“Hey, baby, why are you hiding away in here?”
Martin tilts his head, but I ignore him.
“Stomach’s playing up.”
She freezes, hand halfway to my arm, and steps back instead. “Do you need to leave?”
I hate how disappointed she looks, and it’s all on me for making her that way. This thing needs to end, and soon. It’s not fair on her for me to string her along.
“Yeah, I should.”
“Photo first?” She looks so hopeful, but I can’t do it. I can’t keep playing this part with her.
“I better go before I shit my pants.”
And ignoring the scandalized looks from her sisters, I swing by the food table, pile up a plate, and head home.
The walk is freezing, and it’s quieter out with us so close to break. Even in winter, there are usually people all over the row, but I make my way up onto our front porch without seeing a soul.
I open the front door to the sound of video games coming from the front room to my right, friendly arguments are coming from my left, and someone has their music on upstairs that’s mixing with the sounds of either someone having sex or working out.
It’s busy and overwhelming at times, but I love it.
I pass the plate from one hand to the other as I strip out of my coat, then go in search of Robbie. Since it’s lunchtime, the kitchen is a safe bet, and as I reach the hall outside, I hear his booming voice singing along badly to the music.
“I can’t tell if someone is singing in here or murdering a chicken.”
Robbie throws a look over his shoulder but keeps belting out the lyrics.
“Make him stop,” Chad complains from where he’s sitting on the counter drinking his protein shake.
“Maybe this will help.” I hold up the plate as Robbie finishes making his own shake, and he grabs it on his way past to the small table we keep in here.
And when he pulls the napkin off the plate and notes the small square sandwiches, mini quiches, and bite-sized tarts, his whole face lights up.
“Fuck yes.” He meets my hand with a high five before dropping his bulk into one of the chairs.
I’ll never understand what he finds so amusing, but I watch as he chuckles while he makes his way through the plate.
“You are one weird dude,” Chad says. “I have closing shift, so I’ll see you guys later.”
I nod as he leaves and move to sit opposite Robbie. He tilts the plate in invitation, but I shake my head. I’ve already eaten enough miniature food for one day, and instead of finding it fun like he does, I just find it frustrating. That shit isn’t filling anyone up.
“You know you can buy almost any food in small sizes,” I say.
“Yeah, it’s freaking awesome.”
“So why don’t you?”
He snorts and takes a small bite of the quiche. “No fun if I’m buying it myself. I like to be surprised. Like this.” He waves a hand at the plate.
“Chad’s right. You are weird.”
“If weird means fun, then I’ll be weird all day long.” He moves the plate into the middle of the table. “Come on, pretend to be a giant with me.”
“Except you’re not pretending. You’re enormous.” In size but also in attitude, which only makes him seem bigger.
“And this is itty-bitty.” His large fingers daintily pick up a raspberry tart. “Come on … it’s adorable.”
“Sure.”
He shakes it side to side and makes screaming noises before popping the whole thing in his mouth. He grins at me as he chews, and I can’t help smile back.
“I think this is another thing we’re going to have to disagree on. I don’t get it.”
“You’re more tense this year,” he says when he finishes chewing.
“Maybe I’m growing up.” I lean in as he cringes. “Or maybe I’m too busy cleaning up after you fools to have any fun of my own.”
“Next weekend. We’re going to make sure you have fun.”
“Right, yeah, this party,” I say, nervous over how little we’ve discussed it. “How low-key are we going to make it?”
He makes a dying noise, because intimate gatherings so aren’t the Sigma way.
“Well, since this isn’t a scheduled event, we only need to cover the party costs.
The cheaper we go with shit, the fewer people we need there.
That said, I have a contingency budget that I usually blow on Sigma-only parties, so we can dip into that as well. ”
“I think if I’m going to have fun at this thing, we need to make sure there are no dumbass freshmen who can’t handle their alcohol and no strange sorority chicks we don’t know. The bigger the pool of people, the higher chance of shit getting out of hand.”
“Then why don’t we make this thing brothers-only?”
I’m surprised he’d even make that offer. “I think somewhere in the middle is fine. Maybe invites-only?”
“Exclusive. Yeah, man, chicks dig that shit. I think we can invite the Beta brothers, a handful of the guys from next door, no Kappas, duh.”
“What about Bailey?” I point out.
“Dammit, I forgot about him.”
“There’s no way Doomsen won’t bring him.”
He sighs. “Fine. But only him. The rest are a bunch of twatknuckles.”
“You’ve a way with words, my man.”
“You can hit up Jenny and her girls, right?” Robbie asks, pulling out his phone to make notes.
“Ah …” Now probably isn’t the time to tell him my plan to bail from the relationship. Maybe this party can be our last one together, then I’ll end things over break so she has time to move on before next semester. “Well, obviously.”
“Sweet. I’ll sort out the alcohol—”
“A keg and seltzers only.”
“No.” He shakes his head dramatically. “No way, man.”
“Safest options.”
“Are we planning a party or a fucking Sunday school meeting?”
“You said we could work together.”
“Yeah, on something fun. Remember? The whole point of this is for you to let your balls loose.”
“My balls are doing perfectly fine.” I pin him with a look. “You said we’d plan it together.”
“Yeah. Together. I didn’t say I was giving you free rein. You might as well head down to Kappa house and start a circle jerk at this rate.”
“Wow, you have dicks on the brain. I didn’t realize being a cockhead was a literal thing.”
He slumps back in the chair and runs a hand over his face. “Pretty sure Dooms and Bailey infected me.”
“Dude, that’s not a literal actual thing that can happen. Maybe you’ve always been bi, but you’re more into chicks, so you never gave it much thought.”
“Who said I’m bi?”
“Aren’t you?”
“I don’t fucking know. That’s literally the point. That is literally the whole, entire point, and none of our goddamn house, the dudes who are supposed to have my back, will help a brother out.”
“I kissed you. More than once.”
“Yeah, and now I’m ready to move on to advanced lessons, and all you peanuts are bailing on me.”
I stiffen at the thought of us doing advanced stuff, because there’s a part of me that’s curious.
He laughs. “Relax, you don’t need to look so shit scared. You’ve helped me enough. There’s nothing hot about stroking off a floppy cock while you stand there and judge me.”
Except, floppy wouldn’t be a problem. I clear my throat. “So. Party.”
“We have to make sure there are some cool guys there, because I don’t want anyone being a dick to Dooms and Bailey or dropping words if I find a guy to hook up with.”
“That’s fair.” I hesitate. “Think you will?”
“Who the fuck knows. I’ll wait until the night and see who’s around. But I swear to god if you cockblock me with the guest list, I’ll cover your bed in lube.”
“Again,” I mutter.
“You’ve thought twice about stealing my hookup since then though, haven’t you?”
“Not my fault she thought I was hotter.”
He splutters. “You told her I wanted to piss on her.”
“Oh yeah.” I grin. “Good times.”
“How about we make a deal.”
That doesn’t sound good. “I’m listening.”
“We’ll do this whole thing your way if—”
“You’re not touching my dick.”
He blinks in surprise. “I was going to say if …” He nudges the plate toward me. “You play giant. Just once.”
I’m not sure why that response disappoints me. Robbie touching my dick should be the last thing I want, but the bastard isn’t even giving me the satisfaction of saying no. I shake away the confusing thoughts and focus on the plate instead. “Why?”
“It’s fun. You know. That thing you wanna have.”
Fun. To eat mini pastries. “Fine,” I say, holding back from rolling my eyes. I swipe a sandwich off the plate and go to toss it in my mouth when Robbie grabs my hand.
“You’re doing it wrong. Scream a little. Put on a giant voice. Give it something.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
He takes the sandwich, folds it in half, and mimics a train. “Choo choo! Oh no, here comes a tunnel.”
“Why? What did I do to deserve this?”
“Open uuup!”
“Please no.”
“We’re gonna craaash.”
All I can do is thank fuck there’s no one around to see us, and … open my mouth.
He shoves the food in, and before I have a second to react, he presses a massive palm to my face and pushes me from my seat.
I land on the ground with a thud.
“Dick!” I get out around the food.
Robbie’s booming laugh fills the room. “I was right. That was fun.”
He leaves before I can go after him.