Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Robbie
It takes me exactly a day to figure out what I wanna do. I promised Brandon I’d play it safe, but I meant in the literal sense of the word, not the actual execution. All my man wants is fun, so he’s going to get it in a big way.
Bro big or bro home has always been my motto, and I’m about to put that fucker to the test. When people find out about Brandon and me, they’re all going to find out. Every one of them.
At once.
I tap softly on Chad’s door, and I’ve barely finished my knock when it swings open and Bailey is standing there.
“He’s still asleep.”
“All good.” I step around Bailey on his way out. “I’ll wake him.”
“If you touch his dick, you’ll want to run,” he sings back at me.
I laugh and close the door, then grab one of Chad’s pillows and whack him with it.
“Fucking fuckstains,” he grunts.
“Morning, sweetheart.”
“Should have known it was you.”
I drop lengthways across his bed. “I need your help.”
“No, I won’t hide a body with you, but I’m good for an alibi.”
“Again with the body. Should I be worried you’re the one who’s going to need help there?”
“Hey, your bet was on Brandon, but with the two of you together, I’m waiting for the day one of you snaps.”
“Fuck you, man. I’ll protect that tight ass with my life.”
“Don’t need to know about his ass,” Chad mutters.
“And you never will. That booty is mine.” Because goddamn does he have a fine ass. “But Brandon is part of the favor I have.”
“No I will not have a threesome with you guys, or a foursome, or a whatever-some.”
“Shit, well, I guess that’s that, then.”
He jerks upright. “That’s what you wanted?”
Naive little fucker. “No. As if I’d let you touch him. Are you insane?”
“And now you get why Bailey and I were a hard no on the rub and tug.”
I’m also super grateful because if they’d whipped out their dicks and let me cop a feel, I never would have started this whole thing with Brandon in the first place. I never would have known how damn good being with someone could be. “Guess I owe you guys a thanks.”
“I’m happy to take cash.”
I shove him, and he shoves me right back. “I can’t believe we only have a few months of this.”
“Yeah, it’s scary.”
“Then you’ll be in New York, right?”
“Looks like it.”
I try to get a read on his face, but Chad looks as unbothered as ever. “You looking forward to it?”
“I felt weird at first. Like I was taking advantage, but I want to be with Bailey, you know? He’s going to be in New York, and I can’t afford an apartment myself, so staying with him makes sense.”
“It does. And don’t worry, brother, you’re going places. You’re too good of a guy not to be.”
“Thanks, boo. Appreciate it.”
“And I’m going places too, right?”
Chad grimaces. “Dude, after the other night, the only place you’re going is to the hospital or AA.”
“Urg. Yeah, it was a bit far. It’s why I’ve decided I’m going dry for the rest of the year.”
“Bullshit.”
And I get why he doesn’t believe me—we’ve all said at one point or another that we’re giving up alcohol, and then there we are eating—or drinking—our words the very next weekend.
His amusement dies. “You’re serious.”
“Sure am.”
“That’s … going to be unsettling.”
“Good thing I don’t need alcohol to have fun. Speaking of …”
I fill Chad in on my plans, watching his eyes grow wider with every word. “You want to—”
“Yep.”
“To—”
“Uh-huh.”
He shakes his head. “If it was anyone else, I’d think they were nuts. But … well, this might actually be the most you thing you’ve ever done.”
“We need to get the mayhem team together. I’ll show them it isn’t only about pranks.”
“And score you some much-needed points.”
That hadn’t even occurred to me when I planned this; it’s just an added bonus. “I like where your head’s at.”
Chad glances around. From his desk to the wall and back to his desk again.
“Where’s my chair?”
I look as well. “Ah …”
“Fuck.” He jumps out of bed and even checks under his desk as though it could be hiding there. His eyes widen. “Bailey.”
“I saw him leave. He didn’t have it.”
“He’s King of Thieves-ed me!” Chad flies to his window, pushes it open, and sticks his head out. “You little shit,” he calls.
I join him, hanging out of the side of the house to see where Bailey is out on the street. He salutes us both, sits in the chair, and wheels it backward, whistling as he goes.
Chad sighs. “I’m so in love.”
I snort and pull him back inside, closing the window against the cold. “I have to say, I wasn’t sold on him to begin with, but your boy is pretty cool.”
“Pretty cool? Pretty cool? You wish your boyfriend was as cool as mine.”
“Fuck off. Brandon has more cool points in one nut than the three of us put together.”
“Bailey could kick Brando’s ass with his eyes closed.”
“His eyes would be closed, because Brandon would knock him the fuck out.”
“Oooh, you underestimating my princess?”
I scoff. “You call the guy princess.”
“Yeah, because he’s so damn gorgeous. Unlike that ugly butt-face you’re fucking.”
“What the hell are you talking about? He should be a damn movie star, unlike the skinny twig bitch you’re sticking it in.”
Chad shrugs. “Hey, sometimes he sticks it in me.”
“He does? Damn …” My head drops back. “How good does it feel, am I right?”
Chad laughs, and we high-five. “Frat as fuck, my man.” He turns pensive. “So you figured yourself out? How do you feel about it all?”
“Good. My head is still spinning, but that’s less about the dick and more that I’m willingly entering into a relationship for the first time ever.”
He reaches out to squeeze my shoulder. “Wanna know a secret?”
“Always.”
“This brotherhood you love so much? The idea that we’ve all got each other’s backs through thick and thin, no matter what.
That’s what a relationship is. If you do this thing right, you and Brando will be each other’s number ones.
Your main bro. Even though it’s only new, the minute I met Bailey, I knew he was special, and I can count on him always to be there for me.
Physically, mentally, emotionally. He’s it.
Hopefully forever. If I have my way, I’m never gonna have to worry about doing life solo. ”
“Wow. To think I’ve always been so scared of relationships.”
“Maybe you weren’t scared. Maybe you just knew none of the others were right.
Because from where I’m standing, you and Brandon knew each other was special right from the start too.
Maybe it wasn’t attraction or something you recognized right away, but when I saw you guys together the other day, I wasn’t even surprised. ”
“You’d be the only one.”
He shakes his head. “Nah, anyone paying attention will get it. And those who aren’t … well, once this plan of yours is done, everyone’s gonna know about you guys anyway.”
“Now to plan it without him knowing.”
Chad holds out his arms. “Look at who you’re talking to. We’ve got this.”
I’m still not completely sure we’ve “got this,” but hey, we’re giving it our all.
We get Raymond, Shifley, Dean, and Lance to catch up with us at an on-campus cafe.
None of us ever come here when we could go to Deja Brew where Chad works, but because none of us come here, it’s the perfect spot for this meeting.
Chad pretends to smack a gavel. “Shut up, you animals.” He waits for the others to fall quiet.
“Mastering mayhem is an age-old tradition passed from one Sigma Beta Psi brother to the next. I’m known as the lord of the pranks, but mayhem isn’t only about pranking.
It’s a mindset. A lifestyle. It’s not something that can be taught to anyone, which is why it’s only the four of you here with us.
Some people get it and some don’t, and as you’re about to see, Robbie gets it.
This guy knows how to throw a party like no one else, his prank meter is a ten, and he’s fun personified. ”
I grin, because while I’m always low-key worried that my brothers think I’m a pain in the ass, it’s nice to know Chad at least sees me that way.
“He gets people talking, and that’s power that you either have, or you don’t.”
“And I’m about to do it again,” I say. “One last hit at the big time. Something to go down in Sigma history, and I need all of your guys’ help.”
Chad agrees. “It’s going to be frat as fuck.”
And hopefully romantic as fuck. Over-the-top and uncontrolled—exactly my style—and with any luck, Brandon will get a laugh out of it too.
Because after what Chad said about not doing life solo, it made me realize I want that.
My bro with me for life. With Brandon around, I’ll never have to say goodbye to what we have right now.
Sure, we’ll grow up, and priorities will change, but at heart, I’m determined to love my life, and how can I do that if the one guy I’ve always turned to since we met isn’t there with me?
So while proposing and shit is Future Rob-dog’s problem, I know my one focus, from now until eternity, is to make Brandon happy.
Because he’s mine now.
And I’m making it my responsibility.
I email the pledges an individual list each.
“These are the things I need you to come up with.”
Raymond reads through the list. “The school marching band? I dunno, Robbie …”
“Part of the marching band.” I roll my eyes at Chad. I mean, come on. I’m not unreasonable. “You want my forgiveness for trying to cover up what happened with that Kappa prank? You’ll do every point on that list, and you won’t ask dumb questions about it. That goes for all of you.”
They hurry to nod, and the obedience of pledges always amuses me because I was exactly the same back in the day.
It’s something that could definitely be taken advantage of, and that’s why it’s important that we don’t.
They do what we say, no questions asked, and we’ve gotta make sure we earn the trust for them to respond that way.
It’s what forms the strong brotherhood we have.
As a pledge, you bitch and whine about being bottom rung, about having to share rickety bunk beds all stuffed into one room, barely enough privacy to take a dump, and big brothers who could need you at a minute’s notice, but looking back at it all, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Chad, Zeke, Brandon, and I are all as close as we are because of those years.
Hopefully it’s enough for our friendships to last beyond graduation.
“What song are you thinking?” Chad asks.
“Crazy Little Thing Called Love.”
“By Queen?” Raymond asks.
“It was Elvis first, you fool,” Shifley says.
“No it wasn’t.” Dean sighs like he’s too smart for the rest of us. “It was a tribute to Elvis by Freddie Mercury.”
“Either way, isn’t it about not being able to commit?” Chad asks.
“Basically my whole MO, brother.”
“Yeah, but this is supposed to be some big romantic gesture …”
“Which is why I’m changing the words at the end. Where it says about not being ready, I’m changing it to ‘I’m fucking ready’ because there’s nothing like throwing an f-bomb into a Queen song. Besides, Mercury was bi as fuck, so I’m basically singing the song of my people.”
Chad and I high-five.
Raymond glances up at me, then away again. “So, umm, you and Brandon—”
“What part of ‘don’t ask questions’ did you miss?”
“Sorry, Robbie.”
“Better. Now, obviously this a top-secret assignment, and if any of you squeal, you’ll be super soaked for a month. Sleeping, pissing, in class? I don’t care. I’ll be there to drench you from head to toe.”
They all hurry to swear silence, and as I think about what I’m trying to pull off, excitement hits me square in the gut.
Brandon jokes about taming me, and while I might not be tamed, I am focused. On him. Only him. For as long as that idiot will have me.