Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Charles
It took longer than I would have liked for everything to be cleared up, but once Carter was dealt with and the suspension on Sigma house was removed, I felt like I could breathe again.
Well, mostly.
Exams were going to kick my ass, and while I haven’t been able to see Zeke as much as I’ve wanted to, he came by the other night and we booked our plane tickets back to his place this summer.
My nerves over meeting his family are in overdrive, but after everything we’ve been through …
yeah, nope. That idea is still petrifying.
Thankfully, his coming out to his parents went well, and they’re looking forward to meeting me. But with the way Zeke relayed the message, it sounded borderline like a threat.
Still, I’d rather face off with them over Grampy any day. I’d been planning to see him once school was done to tell him my plans, but Father was only too happy to take on that conversation.
The one time I tried to call him, he didn’t answer, and he hasn’t tried to call me back. That’s as clear a message as I could expect from him.
I look around the huge event room we’ve hired, grateful that spring formal is going exactly to plan. Well, sort of. Even with the suspension removed, Zeke’s and my brothers agreed a date is a date and somehow are all here together. The bickering is driving me insane.
When our drinks are placed on the bar in front of me, I scoop them up and head back to Zeke.
And damn, every time I catch a glimpse of him, he steals my breath.
Fitted tux, sides of his hair and the line in his eyebrow freshly shaved, pillowy lips tilted in a secret smile all for me, and that intense stormy gaze that sets zaps off in my stomach.
It’s taken herculean self-control to resist dragging him into the bathrooms for a quick blow job.
“Why do you have to look so good tonight?” I ask when I reach him.
He chuckles as he takes his drink and has a quick sip. “You know why. Gotta combat the nerves.”
“Still going through with it?”
He doesn’t look at all sure. “I am. Christa has the account set up, all focused around my swimming and the frat stuff. If she wasn’t such a brainiac, she could easily be a social media manager.”
“So you’re just going to slip a video of us dancing in there?”
“Yup.” He shakes out his free arms as though he’s been hit with nerves.
“She said to do it slowly. Give hints, don’t confirm anything, gauge people’s reactions.
From the support my brothers have been getting over the past few weeks, I’m pretty sure the social media side will be okay.
But you never know how your coach is gonna be, and … ”
I quickly take his hand, even though I probably shouldn’t, but when Zeke is anything less than his calm and relaxed self, I want to help.
“You know I don’t expect anything from you, right?
I’m okay with roommates. The important people in our lives know, and you’ve always been clear with me on what I’m signing up for.
If you want to come out, I’m here for you.
Always. But please don’t do it because you think I need you to. ”
“I won’t.” He takes my hand. “You always made it clear what I’m signing up for too.”
Zeke places his drink on the table, then takes mine and sets it down beside his before pulling us onto the dance floor.
My heart is drumming in my ears, gut churning, but when I glance up at Zeke, you would never pick the stress he’s under.
His indulgent gaze is on me, smile in place that only widens when he wraps his arms around me.
“So, w-what did you think you were signing up for with me?”
“Freedom.”
My focus snaps to him. “What?”
“Too cheesy for you?”
“Too unbelievable. What are you talking about?”
“I don’t want to say now.”
I nudge him. “Well, you’re gonna, so get to it.”
He ducks that boyish smile I adore, and when he looks up again, some of the humor has subsided. “You don’t hold back. Your opinion, your smarts, your passion. Going after what you want. I admire that about you. I want more of it myself.”
“Now, there’s a recipe for disaster. Don’t you know only one partner can be right at all times? I’ve already claimed that role.”
“And I don’t get a say?”
“No, because then you’d pick you, and you’d be wrong already.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes,” I say, like duh. “Because I’m always right.”
His eyes soften, and he reaches up to cup my face. “Must be one of the reasons why I love you so damn much.”
He … huh?
My feet stop moving, my whole body seizing up like he’s uttered a curse instead of the most gorgeous word I’ve ever heard.
“Charles?”
I just blink at him. My heart feels too hot, too fast, my breathing stilted and ineffectual. “You … y-you, you …”
His free hand ghosts over my other cheek. “There’s the spluttering I love.”
“Oh god …” He’s trying to kill me.
“You have no idea how much I love the red splotches on your cheeks …”
“Zeke …”
“And I love the way you say my name.”
Dead. I’m going to die.
“But mostly, I just really love you.”
“Zeke.”
He smirks. “Yeah, Charlie?”
I blink at him for a whole five seconds, feeling impossibly full. “I love you too.”
He doesn’t hesitate when he kisses me, and I want to push him back and remind him to go slow, but instead, my hand closes around his lapel, and I pull him tighter against me, never able to get enough.
He laughs as he pulls away. “Always so eager.”
“Do you love that too?”
“You bet your ass I do. And before you ask, yes, I love your ass as well.”
Before I can respond, I’m knocked from the side and would have ended up on my ass if Zeke wasn’t holding on so tight.
“What the hell is going on here?” Robbie asks.
My good mood sinks. Of course he’s here to ruin the moment. But Zeke’s hold on me doesn’t relax.
“Clearly being a better boyfriend than you. Where’s Brandon?”
“Getting drinks.”
“I thought you were going dry for the rest of this year.”
“And I am. He’s getting me a soda. Now, don’t try to change the subject.” He waves a finger between us. “When did this happen?”
“Not sure,” Zeke answers honestly. “A few months. But mostly it’s been coming on for a while.”
Robbie turns his blue eyes on me and holds my gaze for one beat. Two. I lift my head, refusing to back down, and he finally cracks a smile. “Eh. I guess Kappas aren’t the worst things to happen to Greek life. At least he’s not a Gamma.”
Zeke scoffs, and I hold back a laugh. “I would never.”
“Holy shit,” Bailey exclaims, dragging Chad toward us. “Did I see what I thought I saw? You’ve officially come over to the dark side?” He eyes Robbie, then leans in conspiratorially. “Is he being a dick? Need me to kick his ass? I can, you know.”
Chad wraps an arm around Bailey’s waist and hauls him back against his chest. “First, that wasn’t a whisper—you’re shouting. Second, there will be no ass kicking, even though I totally believe you could.”
Bailey sags back against his boyfriend. “I’m sleepy.”
“You have the six vodka shots to thank for that.”
“What the hell is happening here?” Brandon asks.
Robbie looks around. “Where’s my drink?”
“Back there. I figured I needed to come over and help protect Charles.”
“Protect?” Robbie asks, confused. “From what?”
The five of us blink at him.
“Okay, fuck you all. It’s very, maybe, possible that I don’t totally think he’s a complete dick. Sort of.”
I laugh at the most half-assed … whatever that was in history. “Cheers, Robdog.”
His whole face lights up, and Brandon mutters, “Oh no,” under his breath.
“And Charles suddenly became my new favorite person. Drink? Brandon’s buying.”
I shake my head and step closer to Zeke. “We were kinda in the middle of something.”
“Oh. Shit. Sorry.” Robbie steps back, and Brandon gives his arm a tug to get him to move away. Chad has to drag Bailey from the dance floor.
And with them gone, I let out a long breath. “That was …”
“Not what I was expecting,” Zeke says.
“Aww, are we finishing each other’s sentences?” Damn if that thought doesn’t make me giddy.
“I’d prefer you finished something else of mine.”
I snort. “Classy.”
“Never claimed to be.”
With a quick glance around to make sure we’re not being watched, I grab his hand and lead him to an exit on the side of the room.
“Best. Boyfriend. Ever,” he says with each step.
We reach the dark hall outside, and after closing the door behind us, I press him into the wall. “Now I can kiss you properly.”
So that’s exactly what we do. Kiss up against the wall, matching smiles stretching our faces, my fingers tangled in his hair and his slipping under my shirt.
“Goddamn you look sexy tonight,” he says.
I shift, avoiding the compliment. “Look who’s talking.”
He ignores me. Indulgent stare, roaming fingers, he unsettles me in the best way.
“I’m scared,” I admit.
He blinks, shaking off whatever thoughts had been spinning in his mind. “Of what?”
“Everything. Moving, figuring out what steps to take next, meeting your family … losing you.”
He doesn’t answer me immediately, but right before my anxiety can kick in, his warm hand rests on my neck, thumb drawing circles on my skin.
“I get that. We have a lot of change coming up, and we’re only new, but …
” He shakes his head. “There’s something here.
I can’t even say how I know. I just feel it. It’s like … a click.”
“A click?”
“Yeah. That universal sound when two things fit together, exactly right.”
And like that, I know exactly what he means. That click that resounds in my chest whenever he’s around and reminds me that while all this change is making me freak out, it’ll all be worth it. “I feel it too,” I tell him. “But our chances for making it are slim, right? Most people don’t.”
Zeke’s expression turns determined. “I don’t think that’s a fair comparison because we have something those other relationships don’t.”
I try to get to the conclusion before he tells me, but I’m lost. “What?”
“Us, duh. You can’t compare us to anyone else. All we can do is treat each other right and see where this goes. No one can predict the future, but when I see mine, fuck if I don’t imagine you there with me.”
“For as long as you’ll have me.”
“I’m gonna hold you to that.” He gives me one last, lingering kiss. “Let’s go find Christa and make sure she got the video of us dancing.”
“Ready to post?”
He nods, shoulders a little straighter. “Completely ready for whatever comes next.”