Chapter 18 Heartrending and Terrifying
Chapter Eighteen
Heartrending and Terrifying
~~Aria~~
Watching Drakos with Noah is both heartrending and terrifying.
I hate to admit it, but they have a bond that’s unexplainable unless you know what I know.
There’s something to be said about genetic memory.
My big fear is that Noah will become attached, and Drakos won’t return his affection, not that I want him to.
I’d prefer this man is out of both of our lives.
Is Drakos doing this for Noah or because he thinks he can get me horizontal again? Not that we were horizontal before, but same outcome. An orgasm of all orgasms.
Damn. I must stop thinking about him this way, especially when I’m with Noah. It doesn’t seem right. Seems like a betrayal.
Gardenia chooses this moment to enter with the twins.
Soon, the three boys are excitedly picking out Noah’s gear with Drakos’s help.
He’s so good with kids. I don’t understand why he gave up his rights to Noah.
The more I see, the less it makes sense, yet I want it to make sense because the alternative is scary.
I can’t ask him what his intentions are because that’ll open an entirely different can of worms. What if he wants Noah back?
Legally he gave up rights, but that may not stop him.
He has unlimited resources to take me to court, and I have nothing.
Watching the two of them together is hard. It’s alarming how much Noah looks like Drakos. Do other people notice? I’m sure not as they wouldn’t have any reason to be looking for a resemblance. All anyone else sees are two blond-haired, blue-eyed guys, one a child and one an adult.
I worry too much. Or do I?
Gardenia’s brow furrows, and she studies first Noah and then Drakos. My stomach sinks to the floor. Maybe I’m not being paranoid. She senses something. I can tell by her expression, along with the way she’s analyzing the two of them. Noah gestures like Drakos. He stands like him. He has his smile.
I approach to distract her. “Hi, how are you?”
Our eyes meet. She knows something, but I don’t think she fully understands what yet. I can tell she’s attempting to figure out what it is that’s bothering her. I won’t give her a hint.
“I’m good. Any luck on the job front?”
“No, not so far.”
“I might have something. Let me talk to Carla first before I make a proposal.”
Carla? What does Carla have to do with my getting a job?
She’s a PI, and I’m a journalist—make that was a journalist. Reporters with way more experience than me struggle to find decent-paying jobs.
My unserious work with All Hockey News doesn’t look great on a résumé, considering the content we published.
I don’t ask questions, and I don’t see this going anywhere, but I do the polite thing and thank her.
“Let’s go, boys. Aria, I’ll call you.” Gardenia and the twins exit the store.
By now Drakos and Noah are loaded down with gear.
“That should do it, shouldn’t it, bud?” Drakos smiles fondly down at Noah. I experience a moment of regret that these two will never know each other the way they should. I’m getting too soft. I’m not reconsidering giving Drakos a second chance to know his son.
No, I am not.
He’ll swoop down like a golden hero, ply the kid with gifts, and then disappear.
I can’t put Noah through losing another person in his life.
Drakos isn’t father material. Sure, he can enjoy kids when he doesn’t have to be responsible for them every day.
It’s easy to play Santa Claus and walk off without another thought.
Drakos steps forward and offers his card. He pays the bill and hefts the largest packages in his arms before turning to me. “Where’s your car, or do you want the gear in the locker room?”
Noah speaks before I can. “The locker room. I have practice. Wait until the guys see my new stuff. Thank you, Drakos. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Noah runs ahead. Drakos and I follow at a more leisurely pace.
I give Noah a hug and kiss despite his protests and thank Drakos one more time before entering Rink Three and sitting on the bleacher seats to wait for Noah’s practice.
I’m looking forward to seeing him in his new gear.
My heart breaks to think he’s been tolerating skates that’re too small for who knows how long.
I’m not used to being a mother figure, and I messed up that one.
The kids straggle onto the ice. Noah struts around in his new gear. He grins from ear to ear and waves at me. I wave back.
“Looking sharp!” shouts a familiar voice from behind me. I don’t need to turn around to know who it is. Drakos sits his ass next to me on the bleachers. I’m surprised he’s still around.
“Thank you once again. I’ll find a way to repay you, I promise.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“I may not need to, but I have to.”
He shrugs. “Suit yourself. But if you really want to repay me, we can work out a deal that doesn’t involve the exchange of money.” He winks and jerks his head in the direction of the exit. His smile is positively feral.
I pretend not to pick up on his insinuations, but my lady parts hear him loud and clear, and they’re ready to rumble.
“What’s going on with you?” Drakos watches me carefully, and I squirm under the scrutiny.
“Nothing. Why?”
“No, it’s something. You haven’t published a story in a few days, and we won a playoff game last night. No way are you missing that unless… I think I heard you say you’re between jobs?” He’s clearly puzzled.
“All Hockey News fired me.” My tone is flat and distant.
“What? They fired you? Why?” He’s genuinely outraged, which catches me off guard.
I sigh deeply and shift so I’m facing him. “Because I can’t compromise my principles any longer, and I told my boss I wanted to write the truth, not made-up shit for the purposes of getting more clicks.”
“Oh.” Drakos seems at a loss for words.
“Yeah.”
“Your articles on the road trip were thoughtful, entertaining, and thorough. Surely another media company will snatch you up.”
“So far, no one’s interested in a sports reporter who wrote garbage pieces consisting of exaggerations and fabrications. Imagine that.” I cringe as I hear my bitter laugh.
“What’re you gonna do?”
“I wish I knew.” Despair creeps through me. I’ve spent the last few days fretting one moment and being in denial the next. Neither changes my situation.
“Anything I can do to help? Maybe put in a good word?”
“Why would you want to help me?”
“Because of Noah. It has nothing to do with you. We still hate each other.” He grins.
“Yes, we do. That’s a given.”
“Good. I like to know where I stand.”
What’s weird is that we’re behaving in a manner of two people who like each other.
I’m finding it harder and harder to build up any kind of animosity toward him.
I get this nagging feeling there’s more to the story than Anna told me, but I don’t dare ask for his side.
Tomorrow I’ll go to the storage unit and sift through its contents and find my own answers.
I know a few of her friends from Vegas. I’ll contact them, see what they know.
My motives are fuzzy. Am I trying to clear Drakos of responsibility for walking away from his son? I don’t see any way to excuse such callous, selfish behavior. Yet the Drakos I’ve come to know doesn’t seem like that person. Or maybe I’m wanting him to be someone he isn’t.
“He’s a good natural skater. Did your sister skate?”
“Oh, hell, no. She had two left feet and the athletic ability of a slug.”
“I see.” He chuckles.
“What about his dad?”
I freeze and scramble to come up with an acceptable answer that won’t alert his suspicions.
“I don’t know much about him. My sister didn’t like to talk about him.”
“So you didn’t know him?”
How in the hell do I answer that? “It was a one-night stand, and he didn’t want the kid.”
Drakos’s mouth pulls into a firm line. “What bastard would desert his child? It’s his obligation to take care of him.”
I gape at him with an open mouth, unable to hide my astonishment. Is he really saying these things to me? Is he so disingenuous that he’s discounting what he did but criticizing Noah’s father? Of course, that father happens to be him.
“What did your sister do?”
I hesitate because it appears she didn’t do what I thought she did.
“I think she was a bookkeeper in a Vegas casino.” Maybe she was, who knows?
It’s as good a guess as any. Right now, my sister isn’t the person I knew.
She’s a stranger, and every new thing I discover only drives that point further home.
“You think she was?” He’s incredulous, and I can’t blame him.
“My sister was a very private person.”
“What casino?” He’s asking too many questions, and I cannot afford to arouse his suspicion.
“I don’t recall the name. Not much of a gambler myself, and one casino looks like the next to me.”
He nods thoughtfully, and his gaze strays back to Noah. We sit quietly for a while until Noah shoots a laser into the net during one of the drills.
We leap to our feet and clap, as if we’re the happy parents. That’s a chilling image.
“That was an awesome shot. That kid has good instincts. I’ll bet his dad was an athlete.”
I choke and rein in my growing panic. Maybe relocating would be the best thing.
Drakos is astute, and I don’t need him figuring things out.
Noah is all I have in the world, and I cannot lose him.
We need each other. Drakos doesn’t need either of us.
All he’ll do is disrupt our lives and leave them in shambles.
We’re already recovering from my sister’s death, a sister who isn’t what she portrayed, but who was she? And who was Drakos to her?