Collins
THEN
Another busy week and late nights at work have kept me away from Johnnie for the most part.
Sure, I knock on her window nightly for a quick kiss good night, but it just isn’t enough.
I’m starting to crave her when we’re apart.
She’s everywhere—in the space between my thoughts.
My chest starts feeling tight when she’s on my mind, like pressure building up and nowhere for it to go.
Which is why I left work early today to head home and spend the weekend with the girl of my dreams, pissing my brothers off in the process.
About an hour drive and one headache later, I’m pulling into the trailer park.
Putting my truck in park, I look up and find Nan outside working in her small garden at the far end of the trailer.
She puts a smile on my face every time I see her.
There’s something so endearing about her that Campbell, Crandall, and I have felt from the moment we met.
The loss of our grandma combined with our parents being taken away from us makes it feel as though Nan was put in our lives on purpose.
My boots clunk along the cement and into the grass as I make my way toward her. She looks up and smiles, squinting into the lowering sun.
“Hello there, handsome!” Her loud, raspy voice that is completely at odds with her small stature carries across the yard.
I can’t help but laugh at the contrast as I cross the last few feet to her, where she’s leaning on the hand of a shovel.
“Hey, Nan. Let me help you with this.”
She was attempting to bury the roots of what appears to be some sort of flowering shrub at the corner of her flower bed.
She leaves one hand on her shovel for support and puts the other hand on her hip. “If you’re offering to help this old lady out while I get to enjoy the view of you bending over, have at it!”
I shake my head with a smile and wave a finger at her. “You’re a savage, and you know it.” I take a few steps over to the lawn chair beside the small deck leading up to her front door, pick it up, and place it beside Nan.
“Here, you sit.” Taking the shovel from her hand, I gently guide her down to the chair and she relinquishes without argument, surprisingly.
“So, what exactly are we planting? The white blooms on these branches have a name?”
“That’s a dogwood tree, honey. My husband, Ralph—Smitty, to everyone that knew him—loved them. I guess this is my way of keeping him close by.” She doesn’t appear to be sad, but I can hear the slight ache in her tone.
“How long were you and Smitty married?” I don’t look up from the dirt I’m packing around the bottom of the tree.
“Oh, we’re still married, Collins. Just on two different sides of heaven is all.” Her words bring me to a standstill.
“Good lord, Nan. You aiming to make me cry this evening?”
“Women love to see a vulnerable man, Collins. Don’t ever try hiding your feelings.”
“I’ll try to remember that.” I give her a wink just as I finish up the job.
“Well, there you have it. A dogwood tree for Smitty. I bet he loves it.”
We both look it over as I smack the dirt from my hands. I’m pretty sure I spot a tear teetering on the edge of Nan’s eyelid. The sun sinks farther now and there’s a slight breeze that picks up, almost like an approval from up above.
“Now I just need to get myself a new bird feeder to hang out here. Smitty loved Blue Jays. Nothing would make me happier than seeing bright blue feathers on these branches. You know, the day before he died, a single Blue Jay came and landed on my window sill, looking in like it was staring into my soul. Smitty had been sick for a while and his days were numbered at that point. When I saw that bird, I just knew it was a sign he was about to leave me. And then he did.”
“He loved Blue Jays and dogwood, huh? Sounds like you had a good man, Nan. I wish I could have met him.”
“Oh, he would have loved you. Your brothers, too. Come on inside, honey. Let me make you some sweet tea.” Nan starts heading toward the deck, and I’m not about to argue.
I look for evidence of Johnnie as we step into the trailer.
“She’s not here,” Nan says with her back to me, getting to work on the tea she promised.
“Are you a mind reader?” I laugh.
“Not a mind reader, just not stupid. I know you’re crazy about that granddaughter of mine.
She took her journal and said she was walking down to the lake.
She does that a lot. I don’t know what she writes in that thing, but whatever it is, I hope she keeps it up.
She always comes back with more light in her eyes than when she left.
I’m sure she’ll be back soon, can’t write in the dark. ”
Nan turns back around with two full glasses and sets one down in front of me, and we each take a seat on a barstool on opposite sides of the counter.
“You’re a good man, Collins. Just don’t break that girl’s heart. It’s one of the purest I’ve ever seen and it would kill me to see her hurting.”
“I have no intentions of hurting Johnnie, Nan. Quite the opposite, actually.” I take a drink of my tea and eye Nan over the rim of the coupe, just now realizing that she made us sweet tea in a margarita glass.
“Is that why you climb through her bedroom window nearly every night?”
I almost spit out my drink.
“Don’t bother trying to deny it.” She narrows her eyes, puts an elbow on the counter and points her finger. “I know you open her window in the evenings just as much as she sneaks out of it to be with you. Please just tell me you’re being careful.”
Oh, dear god, are we about to have a sex talk? Because I was not prepared for conversation to go in this direction.
“Umm…” Holy shit, I have no idea what to say.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to run and tell her parents about the shenanigans you two have been up to this summer.
Shit, I don’t even plan to tell Johnnie that I’m onto her.
I was your age once, too. I want her to have fun being a teenager.
What kind of grandmother would I be though, if I didn’t at least try making sure you two have your heads screwed on straight?
You’re too young to be parents. I want you to enjoy life, let’s make sure nothing gets in the way of that before its time. ”
“Don’t worry, Nan. Nothing like that is going on.” I can’t believe I’m saying this right now.
“Johnnie turns eighteen in a couple days. If nothing has happened yet, we both know it will. Just be smart.”
“You have my word.”
Nan reaches over and places a hand over top of mine. “You’re one of the good ones, Mr. Combs. I trust you. Let’s keep this conversation just between the two of us. Okay, sugar?”
“You’ve got it.” I smile over at the woman that owns a piece of my heart right along with her granddaughter. I’ve lost a hell of a lot recently. Having these two, though, makes the pain a little easier to bear.
The door swings open just then with Johnnie kicking off her Vans as she closes it behind her.
“You guys in here talking about me?”
Nan and I reply at the same time. “Nope.”