Johnnie
THEN
A big blue blanket covered in dogwood blooms and their white petals sit on a bed of leaves at the woods’ edge. A large bag from Sonny’s on top, two Styrofoam cups with what I can only assume to be cherry limeade on a wooden tray.
“You did this for me?”
Collins smiles and leads me to the blanket, pulling me down to sit. “I had to feed the birthday girl.”
“How did you get all this here?” I sit cross-legged, smoothing out the blanket and picking up a bloom to tuck it behind my ear.
“My brothers are assholes sometimes, but they’re good.
I told them my plan and they offered to help.
They picked up the food and brought it out here.
” He smiles so big, the early evening sun glistens off his shiny white teeth.
The gap that I love so much, impossible to miss.
“Come on, let’s eat. Chili dogs are already getting cold. ”
I don’t know what I did to deserve this boy, but now that he’s here in my life, I don’t ever want to go back to any kind of existence that doesn’t involve him.
Collins made up the back of his truck with pillows and blankets.
He’s even got some sort of battery-powered lights on each side of the tailgate that are starting to glow as the sun sinks beyond the horizon.
He hasn’t elaborated a whole lot about this patch of land, but just knowing he came out here to ride with his dad tells me it’s special that he’s sharing it with me now.
I plop my butt on the tailgate to watch as Collins reaches into the cooler, grabbing a beer and tossing one to me. I pop the top and we both eye each other over our first sip.
“So, what are the big plans, Mr. Combs?”
“Well, for starters, you could get your cute ass in the truck and turn up some music while I start a fire.”
“Are you bossing me around?” I put a hand on my hip and squint my eyes at him.
“I wouldn’t do that…unless you asked me to.”
I have to bite the inside of my cheeks to attempt to hide my reaction to him being so flirty. The way he looks me up and down, giving me that devilish smirk makes it damn hard, though.
I hop down and head to the cab, flipping through his collection. I know which CD I’m looking for and it doesn’t take me long to find it. The “good shit” burned CD has become my favorite. “Vindicated” starts blaring through the speakers, and I toss my now-empty can and go fetch another.
Collins is working on the fire. It’s starting to get a good roar going, and I’m feeling the effects of the alcohol already.
I stand on top of our blankets and start swaying my hips to the music, raising my can in the air, feeling free.
My eyes are closed as I start singing to myself, the pulse of the music running through my body.
Just then, the truck dips when Collins jumps up and instantly has his body pressed to the front of mine.
He reaches around, putting both hands in my back pockets and we mold together, dancing and moving under the stars that are now visible.
I lean my head back, trying to get a better look at his face.
The way the fire flashes around his features is dangerous. He’s stunning.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” He grins and nudges his nose against mine.
I reach up and rest my arm over his shoulder and bring my other hand to his cheek.
“I was just making sure you were real. No one has ever made me feel the way you make me feel.” I rub my thumb across his cheekbone and he brings his hand to my face, movements mirroring mine.
“I’m as real as you are. And I know you’re real because every time I’ve touched you, I was making sure, too.” He rubs the tips of our noses together again and it might be the most adorable thing ever.
“Do you believe in fate, Johnnie?” He stares me dead in the eyes and my heart jumps. “Because I do. I believe that everyone comes into our lives for a reason, and I believe fate brought us together.”
I don’t know how to even respond to that, so I just get on my tiptoes and press my lips to his. He grabs my face and slides his tongue in to brush along mine.
The smell of beer, his familiar scent, and smoke from the fire mingle in the air between us like a perfect symphony, and I close my eyes to inhale the memory, knowing I don’t ever want to forget.
“Come on, I brought everything to make s’mores.”
Collins put the fire right at the end of the truck, so we can sit on the tailgate and feel the warmth.
We went out and found two long branches to roast the marshmallows on.
So here we sit, like little kids, legs swinging and fingers sticky.
The moon looks nearly full, if not completely.
It’s a vibrant shade of orange and absolutely huge.
The wind blowing the leaves in the treetops above us brings a little chill to the air, making me grateful for the warmth at our feet.
It’s the most content I think I’ve ever felt.
“Thank you, Collins.”
He rubs his hands together, probably trying to rid them of the gumminess that seems to be lingering everywhere. “For what, beautiful?” He reaches out and tucks some hair behind my ear.
Why is that so precious?
“For everything. The way you treat me, my Nan. We’re lucky to have you in our lives.
I’m glad I didn’t leave with my parents, that I decided to stay with Nan.
It led me to you and—” Tears start to well in my eyes, making me laugh.
“I don’t think I need any more of those beers tonight. Anyway, I’m just happy we’re here.”
Collins squeezes my knee.
“I told you. Fate. I’m glad we’re here, too.
” He looks down at his nonexistent watch.
“It’s almost your birthday. Do you have a wish?
” He jumps off the tailgate and grabs another marshmallow, plucking a stick through the bottom and putting it in the dancing flames.
It catches on fire and he pulls it out, bringing it toward me until it’s within inches of my face. “Make a wish.”
The white is quickly turning black, so I close my eyes on a giggle. I make a wish, then open my eyes and blow the flickering heat.
“What did you wish for?” He pulls me to the very edge and steps between my legs, his thighs meeting the metal tailgate.
“I can’t tell you or it won’t come true.”
“I don’t think that’s true. Cinderella said a dream is a wish your heart makes, and people tell their dreams all the time.”
“Are you really quoting Cinderella right now? You’re one of three brothers—when, exactly, were you watching Disney princesses?”
“We’re talking about you right now.” He catches my open mouth in mid-laugh with his own, nipping my top lip then biting down gently on the bottom.
The opening chords of “The Freshmen” by the Verve Pipe start wrapping around us, and I pause, taking in a breath.
“Go turn this up, I love this song.”
Collins smiles over my lips and backs away, heading to the front. He turns it up and the notes ripple through me. Goose bumps appear on my arms, as if the lyrics were leaving braille along the surface of my skin.
He pulls on my hand, leading me where he just came from. He’s turned the headlights on, bugs swirling in the beams.
“Dance with me.” We step into the light and instantly melt into each other. There’s no finding a rhythm—we move in sync, like our souls are on the same wavelength. And they are. I’m sure of it.
Foreheads pressed together, his breath whispers against my skin as he sings the lyrics and we move and glide slowly as one. Collins and the speakers burst out the final chorus.
“For the life of me.”
The notes start to fade. “I love that song so much.” Collins looks at me with deliberate eyes, so serious my heart rings hollow for a second.
“I love you…so much.”
My eyes go wide at his admission.
“That was it,” I confess.
He knits his brows, studying my eyes. “What was it?”
“That was my wish…I love you, too.”