Chapter 39
The first pale rays of the morning sun crept through the blinds, painting stripes across the room.
Tasha’s eyes fluttered open. Juelz was asleep beside her, his breathing deep and even, his face relaxed in a way she hadn't seen in what felt like forever.
He looked like the Juelz she had fallen in love with.
The Juelz that made her heart melt on contact.
But a different feeling was stirring in her stomach, Something she couldn’t really name.
It was as if a ball of nerves was reminding Tasha that peace was fragile and chaos was always just around the corner.
She loved him, yes, but trust was something that he had to earn back from her.
Waking up in his arms felt like too much, too soon.
It felt like surrender, and she wasn't ready to surrender completely.
Carefully, she slipped out from under his arm, her movements silent.
She gathered her clothes from the floor, dressing quickly in the dim light as she kept looking back to see if Juelz was still asleep.
She found a pen and a stray piece of mail on his nightstand. She hesitated for a moment, then wrote:
Last night was beautiful. I needed it so fuckin’ bad. More than you know. But I need time. I don’t think I can I do this just yet.
She placed the note on the pillow where her head had been, a soft goodbye for when he woke. With one last look at the man who held her heart in his hands, she walked out of the room, out of the house, and into the early morning, leaving Juelz asleep, as she headed for the Uber.
Juelz had awakened, finally. He stretched his arm out, searching for Tasha, but she wasn’t there.
He sat up, the sheets pooling around his waist, his eyes scanned the room.
The bathroom door was open, and the room was empty.
He took a deep breath, calling out her name, but got no answer.
He looked at the spot that she once occupied and immediately saw the note on the pillow.
He picked it up, rubbing his head back and forth.
As he read the words, his stomach began to drop.
He knew he couldn’t let her walk away again.
Hell no, not this time. He threw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, his mind racing as he picked up his cell, hoping to see a missed call or something from her.
He had to make her see that this time would be better.
He scrolled to her saved name in his phone and pressed call. It rang twice before she picked up, her voice low and hesitant. “Hello?’
“Tasha,” he said, his own voice rough with emotion. “Why’d you dip out like that?”
He heard a soft sigh on the other end. “Jue, I… I need some time to think. Last night was great, but it shouldn’t have happened.”
Juelz was in the bathroom, brushing his teeth now, as he looked in the oversize mirror. “Time?” he repeated, spitting into the sink. “I thought we was good, Tash. I thought we was gonna work it out, T.”
“We still can work it out, Jue,” she said quickly. “I mean, ion want you to think that you can just cheat on me and I’m just gonna let that shit slide. I need time, man.”
“Where you at?” he asked, his voice shifting from hurt to urgency as he put on a fresh pair of white lows.
He knew he had to see her face-to-face so that he could really try to win her back.
Tasha wasn’t your typical chick. She would move on to the next guy quickly, but Juelz was somehow pulling her heartstrings.
It was like a strong-ass magnet was pulling them back to each other, and she was fighting like hell against it and failing. Terribly.
“Juelz, I have somethin’ I need to take care of today. I’ll talk to you later.” She ended the call before he could respond.
Tiffany came into her room with a look on her face that said, bitch why are you lying. “Tasha?” she called out to her as she sat on the bed next to her. “Was that Juelz?”
Tasha blew out a breath, throwing her head back against her pillow.
“Yeah! Last night was everythin’ I needed and more.
I feel like I’m betraying myself if I get back with Juelz, but I, for the life of me, can’t get his cheatin’ ass outta my system.
” She took the pillow from behind her head and let out a loud scream into it.
“Gawdddd. Why do love have to be so fuckin’ complicated? ”
“Girl, give me this pillow.” Tiffany snatched the pillow from her arms. “Hear me out, okay. I understand why Juelz did what he did.”
“Tiff—”
“No! lemme finish.” Tiffany stood up and leaned on the dresser. “You worked your ass off for your nursing license, and for him to want to protect them by any means?” She shook her head. “Says a lot.”
Tasha was near tears. She understood where Tiffany was coming from. Juelz would never do anything to hurt Tasha. He would go to the moon and back for her if he could.
“I know, but it still hurts. Shyann coulda picked any other nigga, but she chose mine.” Tasha could barely keep her anger in check as she punched the mattress. “She fuckin’ chose mine.”
“At least you beat that bitch ass though, sis.” They fell into a fit of laughter.
“Yeah! I tore her ass up. I mean, I tried to stomp a mud hole in that bitch. Like uh… uh… uh.” Tasha stated, kicking her foot on the bed.
“But on the real, Tasha. Give Jue another shot. And if he fuck up this time. I’ll find you another nigga my damn self.” She pondered with her index finger on her chin. “Although Kenji was a fine piece of meat. I may have to hit him back up.”
Tasha threw her pillow at her, laughing. “Shut up, Tiff. I’m probably the last person he would give another chance anyway.”
“Why? I thought y’all ended on a good note.”
“Shit, we did. Kinda. But, I called Kenji another man's name while I was about to cum.” Tasha hid her face as shame washed over her.
Tiffany snatched her hand down from covering her face. “You did what?”
“I called Kenji Jue in the middle of me cummin’. He got pissed and called it quits.”
Tiffany's right eyebrow shot up. “I bet he did. How you gonna call that man another nigga name? And in the middle of cumming too. Girl, you are a menace.”
Miracle came into the room just as they were talking. “Ma, what’s cumming?”
“Ah, if you don’t get your butt out of this room in grown folks' conversation, I know something. Go in there and get your brother so we can go.”
Tasha gave Tiffany a sidelong glance. “No, she didn’t ask you what’s cummin’.” Tasha burst out laughing. “That’s yo child.”
“Yeah, it is. You wanna ride with us since you already lied to Juelz about having to take care of something?”
Tasha got off the bed and started putting on her shoes. She decided since she wasn’t doing anything, that she might as well tag along.
An hour later, Tasha, Tiffany, Miracle, and Ant were at his last basketball game of the season.
The gym was loud as hell, with guests and kids yelling and whistles blowing every other minute, along with sneakers squeaking across the court.
Tasha sat halfway up the bleachers, one leg crossed over the other, as she watched Ant dribble the ball up and down the court.
Tasha's phone had rang for the hundredth time, but she sent it to voicemail. Again.
“It’s like that, Tasha. You just gon’ keep ignorin’ a nigga like that.”
Tasha froze. Her eyes met with Juelz, who stood at the bottom of the bleachers with his cell phone in his hand. He made his way up to the bleachers to sit next to her with a frown on his face. “Whatchu doin’ here, Jue?” she asked, keeping her eyes on the court. “And how you even know I was here?”
He shrugged with a smirk on his face, looking at Miracle, smiling from ear to ear like she didn’t send the text.
“A li’l birdy might’ve gave me a heads up.
” He threw two fingers up at Tiffany. “Whaddup, Tiff?” Then his attention went back to Tasha.
“You know Ant wanted me here anyway.” He nudged her arm lightly. “Stop being like that, girl.”
Tasha sucked her teeth, shifting away just a bit. “I told you I needed—”
“Umm, hmmm… shut up!” Her words were cut short by Juelz grabbing her face and shoving his tongue down her throat. She didn’t resist; she just closed her eyes and let it happen. The kiss reminded her exactly why she couldn’t shake him. Then she pushed him back as reality hit.
“Stop! You so hard-headed and don’t listen.” She wiped her mouth with her thumb.
Juelz leaned back like it didn’t even phase him, eyes still on her. “I heard you,” he said calmly, tasting her lip gloss on his lip. “I’m just not goin’ for it. You already know how I’m comin’ about you.”
She stared at him for a moment, shaking her head. Out on the court, Ant crossed somebody up, and the crowd went crazy as the other player fell to the floor.
Juelz jumped up instantly, yelling. “THAT’S WHADD I’M ‘TALMBOUT! brEAK THEM ANKLES, NEPHEW! Yeah, boy."
Tasha pulled him back down on the bleacher by his shirt before he let the wrong thing slip out.
“Jueee, sit down. You embarrassing him.”
He glanced at her, smiling. “Aight, aight. I’m cool.” But he was still grinning.
A few seconds passed before he leaned closer again, lowering his voice. “Look, I ain’t come here to play witchu,” he said, licking his lips.
Tasha kept her eyes forward. “Then whatchu come for?”
“You.”
Her chest tightened, but she forced her voice to stay steady. “I know that… but gimme time to think about it.” She tilted her head to him. “Okay?”
“Yeah, I hear you,” he said. A pause. “…But not okay.”
She cut her eyes at him. “Juelz—”
They focused their attention back on the court just as the buzzer sounded, cutting everything off as the game went into halftime. The cheerleaders started rushing the floor, waving their pom-poms. Tasha exhaled, thinking she had a second to breathe until she didn’t.
“Give me a J!” one of the girls shouted. The crowd echoed back, loud. “J!”
“Give me a U!”
“U!”
“Give me an E!”
“E!”
“Give me an L!”
“L!”
“Give me a Z!”
“Z!”