Headlights #3
Turns out she’s just trying real hard to support herself. Also partly explains why she’s so damn dedicated to being put together all the time. She can’t afford to make a mistake.
“That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself.” I keep my voice as gentle as I can.
Lainey glances at Dean. “Something tells me you know all about pressure.”
I laugh, if only in an attempt to ignore the flutter of my pulse. “Yeah. But Billie Jean King is always saying that pressure is a privilege, so…”
Lainey drops her fork. Stares at me.
That flush of heat in my neck moves to my face. “What?”
“You’re just…jeez, Colton.” She shakes her head. “Full of surprises tonight.”
Can say the same about you, honey.
“She’s right, though,” I continue. “Pressure exists in my life because I’m living out my dream.
Well, some of my dreams. I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to do with the people I’ve always wanted to be around.
Including this little rascal.” I muss Dean’s hair, and he ducks out of my reach to go hang on the couch with his football.
Lainey is sucking down her beer again. “I get that. I mean, I don’t get it get it because I feel like I’m just starting my life, but I see what you’re saying.” Another gulp. “I’m jealous.”
Jealous?
“You guys have such a great relationship,” she explains, nodding at Dean and me. “And your family is awesome. Your parents are happy. And it sounds like you’ve always known what your path was going to be. You always knew who you are, I guess.”
I consider this for a minute before nodding. “I’ve never thought about it like that, but yeah. You’re not wrong.”
She’s grinning again, the kind that touches her eyes. “Can I get that in writing?”
“Hey. I didn’t say you were right.”
“Six of one, half a dozen of the other.”
Dean appears at my elbow, tossing his football from one hand to the other. “All this talking is kinda boring. Can we finish the spooky LEGO set or what?”
“We can.” I reach for Lainey’s plate. “As soon as you and I clean up.”
But Lainey grabs the plate and rises. “Nuh-huh. Y’all will absolutely not clean up, because the person who cooks doesn’t clean. Isn’t that the rule in your family?”
“I didn’t cook, though,” Dean says.
Lainey winks at him before grabbing my plate. “I’ll let that slide tonight.”
She fucking winks.
Anyone else did that, it’d come off cheesy as hell. Like they were trying too hard to win over my son.
But when Lainey does it? Real fucking cute.
I push back from the table. “You’re our guest, and guests don’t clean.”
“This guest does. Go sit, Colton.” She picks up Dean’s plate too. “You and Dean have two ghosts left to finish.”
I feel a surge of…something. Frustration? Desire? Relief?
All three?
“I don’t sit.” I’m back to grunting as I rise to my feet. “Now gimme that—”
But Lainey laughs and holds the pile of plates just out of reach. “You’re gonna sit tonight.”
“Stop.” I try to head for the sink, but Lainey darts to the right to block me.
“I’m so serious, Colton. You made all this beautiful food. Least I can do is load your dishwasher.”
Why does it sound dirty when she says that?
Why is my mind always in the gutter when she’s around?
“Sit,” she repeats. “Remember that one time you made me sit, and I actually listened?”
Dean gives me a look. “She’s right, Dad.”
“Fine!” I throw up my hands. “Fine. But don’t you dare start scrubbing pots. Just put those plates in the dishwasher and then you’re done. That a deal?”
Lainey’s lips twitch. “Sure.”
It’s a very strange experience to sit my ass down after eating. If I’m not cleaning up, then I’m running a bath for Dean or I’m standing at the counter filling out school forms or I’m letting the dog out.
Makes me realize how tired I am. There’s a heaviness behind my eyes and in my legs that has me yawning. Maybe this is why I don’t sit, because I’m worried I’ll collapse the second I stop moving.
I know Dean has a crush on Lainey because he offers to help her do the dishes.
“I said no dishes!” I reply.
“You said no pots,” Lainey corrects. “Sure, Dean, I’d love the help.”
So then it’s just me at the table. Sitting.
Relaxing.
Is this the first time I’ve relaxed since Dean was born?
Stretching out my legs, I put my arms behind my head and just sit for several beats. Watch Lainey as she and Dean chat over the sink about the other LEGO sets they’d like to build.
The longer I sit, the more relaxed my shoulders and neck become. I feel my shoulder blades falling down my back, an easing that makes me want to groan.
I can’t help myself when Lainey picks up an actual pot and starts scrubbing, though. She’s going above and beyond, and I know she’ll even go so far as to wipe down the counters and run the dishwasher if I don’t intervene.
She puts up a fight. I win.
Well, kind of. She dries the pots and pans as I wash them while Dean carefully loads the dishwasher.
Glancing at the LEGO haunted house on the table, it hits me. The three of us built a literal house together tonight.
And now, gathered at the sink, it feels like we’re at home.
Lainey fits right in.
It scares the ever living daylights out of me.
It delights me to no end.