Caught in the Act
LAINEY
“So what you’re saying is you’re not coming home for the holidays.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and count backward from ten. “I’m not saying that. I’m saying I’m swamped trying to wrap up this project, and it’d save me a lot of time if—”
“You are having Thanksgiving without us.” Mom pauses.
I hear Dad in the background. “That’s bullshit!”
Tears prick my eyes. The other night at the Wallaces’, I felt so good. The tension between Colt, Billie, and Ryder was still there, but it’s definitely mellowed some.
Then I got on the phone with Mom, and it’s easy to forget all that. I’m back in the vortex of her hurt and my shame. I hate it.
I don’t want to deal with it anymore. Yes, I’m excited to spend Thanksgiving with the Wallaces, but honestly, I’m just as excited not to have to deal with my parents’ bullshit.
Still sucks knowing I’m hurting them by staying on the ranch.
“Yes, I’ll be here for Thanksgiving. But I’ll be with y’all for Christmas, I promise.
Please try to understand.” I’m fighting tears because I don’t want to cry.
I want to have this conversation and move on.
“You told me I need to work hard and get a real job, and that’s what I’m trying to do here.
If I knock this project out of the park, who knows what doors it’ll open for me? ”
Mom sighs. “If you say so. We’re just disappointed. It’s been weeks since we’ve seen you, and we were looking forward to having the family together.”
What she doesn’t say? She was also looking forward to having my help. The hurt in my own chest morphs to anger. I’m so, so sick of being the fill-in for the partner my dad is supposed to be.
“I don’t mean to disappoint you.” I manage to keep my tone even. “Like I said, I’ll be back for Christmas with bells on, all right?”
Another sigh. “Fine. We’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.”
“Good luck, Lainey.” And then Mom hangs up.
Staring at my phone, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Turns out I made the right call: Thanksgiving at the Wallaces’ is a fucking delight.
Beck’s tenderloin might have been one of the best things I’ve ever eaten (pun not intended).
Colt still hasn’t forgiven his sister, but they were cordial enough.
And everyone was in a festive mood. We drank excellent whiskey and wine.
Had a dance party in the kitchen, led by Dean.
Best of all, Colt yanked me into the powder room for a stolen quickie. I don’t think either of us is ready to tell his family about our relationship, although I’m sure some of his siblings (Beck, mostly) have picked up on the fact that something’s up between us.
I mean, Colt and I haven’t even talked about what we are and where we see this going.
Are we dating? Exclusive? Somewhere in that nebulous region between more than friends but less than boyfriend-girlfriend?
I’m pretty sure he’s not seeing anyone else, and neither am I.
We’re enjoying the hell out of each other, sure. But we still haven’t kissed.
And the fact of the matter is there’s a very real end date to our involvement.
Once I make my presentation, get the family’s approval, and launch the new branding and website, I’ll be heading…
well, I don’t know where yet. But I do know I won’t be staying in Hartsville.
And Hartsville is Colt’s whole life. He’d never leave, and I’d never ask him to.
Hurts, thinking about having that conversation. I’m sure it’s coming. But for right now, I’m happy to pretend like these precious final weeks will last forever.
I’m putting the final touches on my presentation a few days after Thanksgiving when my phone lights up.
COLTON WALLACE
Morning
LAINEY brOWN
Good morning sunshine.
COLTON WALLACE
You’re funny. Long time no see. Any chance you’re free for lunch?
I was over at his house again last night.
We get more daring each time I stay past Dean’s bedtime.
This time, I nearly fell asleep cuddling with Colt after the hot, slightly buzzed sex we had.
I jolted upright in a panic, terrified we’d be caught by Dean and forced to explain our extremely disheveled state.
LAINEY brOWN
Are you asking me out on a date in the middle of the day?
COLTON WALLACE
Yes
Picnic lunch. I’ll pick u up. Say yes. Bring your toy. How we keep forgetting about that thing I don’t know.
LAINEY brOWN
You mean business today
COLTON WALLACE
Have you ever known me to joke around?
LAINEY brOWN
If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were addicted to me
COLTON WALLACE
I’m trying to kick nicotine. Replace one addiction with the other. That’s how it works.
LAINEY brOWN
Ah. Should I be afraid?
COLTON WALLACE
Very
LAINEY brOWN
11 is good. What can I bring? Other than my vibrator?
COLTON WALLACE
Nothing. Not even clothes.
Colton pulls up to my apartment at exactly 10:55.
Dropping my sketch pad into my lap, I feel a head rush of anticipation as I watch him hop out of the Chevy.
It’s obvious he just got out of the shower. His hair is still wet, and his simple white T-shirt clings to spots on his chest and stomach where he didn’t dry off.
He smiles, and my heartbeat scatters. He took time in the middle of his workday to clean up for me.
To put together a picnic lunch for me.
“Whatcha doin’ there, Fort Worth?”
I straighten in the makeshift chair I constructed from some bales of hay I found in the barn underneath my apartment. “Working. The light is so pretty this time of day.”
“That’s right.” He tucks his hands inside his jeans. “Yellow’s our new color.”
I screw an eye shut against the sun as I look up at him. The day is bright and clear, the sun’s warmth seeping through my jeans and shirt. “You’re coming around to it, aren’t you?”
His lips twitch. “Maybe. Yes. C’mon.” He pulls a hand out of his pocket and holds it out to me. “I brought some goodies for you.”
I grab the tote bag beside me on the ground. “Great minds. I brought some for you too. Well, just one. But it’s a good, er, goody.”
His eyes flicker. “You really did bring it.”
“You’ll just have to wait and see.” I let him pull me to my feet.
His hands move to my hips, and he pulls me against him. The man smells delicious, like his woodsy body wash and clean laundry.
He gives my hips a squeeze as his eyes rake over my face. “You’re so fuckin’ pretty, you know that?”
“You tell me enough.”
“I’ll keep telling you, ’cause it’s true.” His eyes move to my mouth.
The air vibrates with his very obvious desire to kiss me. I’m dying to kiss him too. But something inside me still hesitates. Or maybe it hesitates for a different reason now. In my heart of hearts, I know I’m falling for this cowboy. And if I let him kiss me…
I mean, what happens when I fall totally and completely in love with him? Then what?
I swallow, hard, and hook my first finger through his belt loop. “Can I show you just how much I like your freshly showered look?”
“Lainey.”
“What?” I say innocently.
“I’m tryin’ to be a gentleman here. Feed you first.”
“Feed me what exactly?”
His nostrils flare. “Fuck it. Fine. In the truck. You—you’re fuckin’ shameless, you know that?”
“How so?”
He’s tugging me toward the truck now. “You know I’m always gonna give you what you want, so you just—you come right out and ask for it.”
My heart dips. “It’s a new thing I’m trying out.”
“Yeah, well, I hate it.” He helps me up into the truck, then looks me in the eye, suddenly all earnestness. “You know I like it, right? So fucking much.”
I laugh, a swoop of joy moving through me. “I know.”
“There’s an old pole barn about a mile or so from here,” Colt explains as he puts the truck in gear. “It’s got the best views on the ranch. It’s also not being used right now, so we’ll have plenty of privacy.”
My body lights up. “I like the sound of that.” I turn my head to look at him. He seems…different. Lighter somehow.
Happier.
“You’re awful chipper today,” I say.
He adjusts his grip on the wheel. “I am.” A pause, and then he glances at me, his eyes more gray than green in the sunshine that slants through the windshield.
“I apologized to Billie and Ryder. Had a good talk with her first about the whole thing, and she apologized too. Then went and saw Ryder. It went well.”
“What?” I sit up in my seat. “That’s amazing! Good for you.” I know what a big deal it is that Colt let his guard down like that.
“Felt good. And awful. But mostly good.”
“Holding a grudge is one of the worst feelings ever. It’s like cutting off your nose to spite your own face.”
He nods. “Yup. Forgiving them… I told her the truth. That I couldn’t be happy for them at first because I haven’t been happy myself. I said I still got work to do—”
“And you’re doing it by opening up to the girl you hate.” I smile, a bubble of something good and warm expanding inside my middle. I reach across the console to pat his thigh. “I’m honored.”
His lips twitch. “You should be, Fort Worth. Have you talked to your mom at all?”
Colt knows my parents were not pleased that I chose to spend Thanksgiving on the ranch. We’ve actually talked a lot about my family dynamic and how different it is from his family’s warm, mostly sane approach to making family time happen.
I shake my head. “I’ve tried calling her, but she’s giving me the cold shoulder. I feel bad. I want to also, you know, draw some boundaries. Let this anger go, the anger I feel over…everything.”
“You ever thought about going to therapy?” Colt’s eyes find mine.
“It’s helped me a shit ton. Maybe talking to someone can help you figure all that out.
Because it sounds to me like you feel this need to always toss your mom a life preserver, but that’s not your job.
Your mom is an adult. She’s the one responsible for keeping her own head above water, not you.
And your dad…I mean, I doubt he’s ever going to change. ”
Is there anything sexier than a man who gets it? Gets you?
I think not.
“I know,” I say thickly. “And I want to accept it. I know rationally that you’re right about all that stuff.”