Chapter Twenty-Three
C olton knocked on Seneca’s bedroom door and waited for the familiar “Come in” to open the door and enter.
She’d been home for a few days, and he’d made himself her self-proclaimed watchdog, refusing to go more than a few steps from her at a time.
She was sitting on her bed dressed in nothing but the thin scraps of black lace hugging her mouthwatering tits and her mound as she straightened one leg and bent the other so he could see the material disappearing at the apex of her thighs.
He had one foot on either side of the door saddle. It would be just as easy for him to turn back as move forward, but his body refused to listen to his brain when it warned him to get the fuck out of Dodge.
“You okay over there, cowboy? You’re looking like you’re having a hard time.”
She wasn’t lying. It was a very hard time indeed and his interested dick was not happy with Colton’s determination to walk away from all that sexiness waiting for him.
She swung her legs to the side of the bed and stood, walking slowly to him like a predator stalking its prey.
“You couldn’t be afraid of little ole me, could you?”
Hell yeah, he was afraid. With each step closer he was afraid his ability to stick to his convictions where she was concerned would slip away into the country air.
“You are a six-three mountain of sexy-ass man muscle. And if you wanted to break me with your bare hands, you probably could.”
He cleared his throat, trying to pull his thick tongue from the roof of his mouth.
“I’m not afraid of you, Seneca.”
She put her hand on his heart and the feel of it against him burned through the cotton of his T-shirt straight through to his flesh.
“Yes, you are,” she replied. “You’re afraid of loving me as deeply as you did McKenna, aren’t you? That’s why you’ve put this distance between us, right? You’re afraid that if you love me and this doesn’t work out, you might not be able to glue the pieces of your heart back together again.”
He blinked, letting her words sink in as the sight of her looking up at him with so much concern broke through his defenses.
He tipped her chin up with his finger, needing her to see his truth as well as hear it.
“I loved McKenna, and it hurt like hell to lose her. Can you blame me for not wanting to experience loss like that again?”
“McKenna died tragically, Colton. I’m still here, waiting on you to love me and let me love you.”
“You’re still here,” he agreed. “But the ache I feel for you is just as deep inside me.”
“Then why won’t you give us both what we want?”
“Because I can’t be the only one who’s all in anymore.
From the moment you found out I was a ranger you decided I wasn’t worthy of your trust. And while I was so determined to earn yours, I hadn’t realized that I haven’t given mine to you either.
So maybe it sounds unmanly of me. But fuck it, I don’t care.
I want to know I’m more than a dick to get you off.
I want to know that walking away from me would break you the way it would me.
I need to know you’re as invested as me.
And having you tell me you love me when you’ve just experienced a traumatic event, although it’s everything I wanted to hear…
I can’t hang my future on it. Because if I let myself love you, Seneca, it’ll be forever. ”
He took a deep breath, realizing the bands of fear that kept all these thoughts inside were snapping one by one. He’d never meant to tell her any of this, but now that she knew, he wouldn’t take it back.
He loved her. There was no question of that. But being with her was something they both had to be committed to, or they’d crash and burn.
“You know what?” He threw up his hands, hoping to avoid the argument he saw spoiling in her eyes. “I just wanted to check on you. But you should probably get some rest. I’m gonna go watch some TV in the living room.”
He turned toward the door, too afraid to see rejection in her eyes.
He’d just reached for the doorknob when she said, “You’re right.
” Her words halted his steps. He was stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place.
He wanted to stay and hear what she had to stay, but he wasn’t sure if his heart would survive whatever she was about to tell him.
“I haven’t been all in. But I know what I want, Colton. And that’s you.”
He balled up his fists, fighting to keep from turning around. But as much as he tried to take another step toward the door, her words held him there.
“Even though you couldn’t tell me who you really were, every day since the first, you’ve shown me who you are.
A strong, compassionate man who doesn’t see my incarceration as the definition of my character, but as something that’s just part of my past. You’ve nursed me back to health on more than one occasion, and you’ve fought to protect me when I stepped into shit I couldn’t handle.
You’ve proven yourself time and time again.
And all I’m asking is the chance to prove myself to you.
Let me love you as fiercely as you’ve loved me.
Let me be the person you can trust to take care of your precious heart.
And if you do, I promise to always be your soft place to land when the world knocks you down. ”
She paused, taking a deep breath as if whatever was coming next were the hardest, heaviest words she’d ever have to speak. “Please, Colton. Believe me when I say… I love you.”
Her words caused cracks to spread through the foundation of his resistance. He didn’t know if it was what she’d said, or the soft way she called his name, but that wall he’d been holding up between them teetered and then toppled at his feet.
“Just tell me what I need to do or say to prove it. Because losing you, losing us is an unthinkable option.”
He turned around and the sight of her stole his breath.
She was beautiful of course. The lace lingerie accenting every curve he ached to touch again.
But there was something so much more enticing than her sex appeal.
There was an openness on her face he’d never seen before.
Conviction shone bright in her eyes and tugged at the cage he’d locked his heart inside of.
If ever there were a moment he wanted to lay his defenses down at his feet, it was now.
But he couldn’t move. He couldn’t close the distance between them.
In a brief moment, he thought his stubbornness would win out. But before he could resolve himself to his foolish resistance she was across the room, wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing herself so hard against him, he could feel her heart beating.
And then he was lost, to her touch, to her need, and to the love he bore for her.
Her hands were all over him and by the time she pulled him into a searing kiss, he wouldn’t have been able to walk away from her if he tried.
And to be clear, the notion didn’t enter into the equation once her body touched his.
He should’ve picked her up and taken her to the bed, but he was on fire, his clothes felt too tight and if he couldn’t get skin to skin with her in the next two seconds, he was liable to cause harm to himself.
She must have come to the same conclusion because she was ripping his shirt out of his denims and pulling it over his head, and he was willingly holding his arms up to make the process go faster.
She tugged on his belt buckle and unbuttoned his jeans while he kicked off his cowboy boots. And when she reached inside his boxer briefs and wrapped her palm around his already stiff cock, he hissed because the pleasure was too damn good.
“Love your touch, but that’s not the part of you I want to feel right now,” he spoke through clenched teeth, “I’d suggest you let me get a condom on now.”
She slowly pumped her hand once, smiling at him as he bit into his bottom lip, trying to resist his need to push deeper into the gloriously tight closed fist. She stepped away from him, sauntering over to her nightstand and making a show of bending over, putting all that ass on display as she rummaged through the drawer for the thin piece of rubber they desperately needed.
He reluctantly pulled his gaze from the firm, round cheeks begging for his attention in an effort to get out of the rest of his clothes. By the time she stood in front of him again, waving the condom in the air like it was a prize, all bets were off.
He pulled her against him fast and hard, and slammed his mouth against hers.
The kiss was demanding and desperate. He’d ached for three days wondering if he’d ever be able to have this again.
Yes, he’d been the one to put the brakes on.
But that didn’t mean he hadn’t burned with need for her from the moment he walked out of her hospital room.
He tore his mouth away, leaving them both panting. “Get me ready.” She quickly sheathed him. The moment the condom reached the base of his cock, he pushed her hand away, reaching for her panties and tearing them from her body. “I’ll replace them, but right now they’re in my way.”
He picked her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs tightly around his waist. He turned to the wall behind them, pressing her back against it.
His cock found its way to her entrance without much help from him.
He took one last moment to kiss her, then rested his head against her forehead. “You ready to take me?”
“Yes,” she answered. Her voice was breathless and so damn sexy, but he didn’t have time to focus on it. He had what he needed, her consent and her pussy sliding down his cock, conforming to it like she was made for him.
If he were a lesser man, he’d have collapsed from the sheer joy of her heat surrounding him. “You’re too fucking wet and hot.
“Just like you like me” she responded.